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Shaming? Is it discipline or abuse?

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Is making a child stand on a corner holding up a sign like this really an acceptable form of discipline or does it cross the line into abuse?

This is an old image, but I've seen stories like this all over the place and my dad even passed one when he was traveling through GA last week.



by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Replies (21-30):
lancet98
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:24 PM

I think it's extremely ineffective, as well as just - weird.   Making child discipline a public spectacle is weird.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:28 PM

If my child dared to sneak any one in, at any time, boys or otherwise, there would be heavy consequences to her actions.  I'm not going to send her out on the corner with a sign but she would get the message.  So would her friends.

supercarp
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:15 PM

 The apology is not part of the punishment. That is expected. Punishment is something else.

Quoting quickbooksworm:

I think its a case by case basis. I wouldn't make my child stand on a street corner for being mouthy. But if I found out he was in some way humiliating another child he would publicly apologize to that child which probably would be a little embarrassing for him.


 

Carpy
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I do not agree with it. There are better ways to deal with issues than airing them in the entire community.
JessicaR7
by New Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Discipline should be about tasking the child with something they need to demonstrate while suffering the consequences of their behavior.  What will this girl really learn?  How to hold a sign and sit there for several hours or will she learn not to get caught next time. I do not think this is abuse but shaming isn't something I'd pull from my parental tool box.

JessicaR7
by New Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 4:25 PM

 I agree.  I think when parent's put their disciplinary skills on display it is really about them seeking validation from society that they are doing a good job. 


Quoting lancet98:

I think it's extremely ineffective, as well as just - weird.   Making child discipline a public spectacle is weird.


 

sillytime
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 4:34 PM
Not abuse! I like the idea.... So far. My kids are all still young but if they were giving me problems like this and I could not get a grip on it I could see myself doing something like this. Fear and shame is commonly used to keep people honest, religion is a great example of this.
famiglia_bella
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 5:17 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't use it. I think shame is very hurtful to a child's development and the shamer risks not being trusted later on.  In the case of this pic, I think they got it wrong from the jump.  They should be more concerned that Jasmine is disrespecting HERSELF.  They won't be around forever, so who is she to respect when they are gone?  That image is sad to me.

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 5:19 PM

I don't think there is enough shame in our society, and I think a lot of young adults lack it. I approve of this tactic, whole heartedly. 

momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 5:20 PM

Not abuse, not effective either.  As a parent, I'm interested in consequences that work, and I've seen no evidence that this does.  

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