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Any wives of "Bikers"? DH rides a Harley

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 5:51 PM
  • 89 Replies

Any women have husbands that ride motorcycles? If so, ask them about this after you finish reading and please share your thoughts.

DH rides a Harley, he rides with a motorcycle club, goes to club meetings and spends way too much time in the garage working on his motorcycle or riding it.



Now, please do me a favor, and before your read further, take a moment and think about what your first impressions are. Think about the images my personal sharing conjures up in your mind.



Okay, read on...



DH is also an Engineer in the Technology Industry. He has ridden motorcycles/dirt bikes since he was a kid. His Harley is a toy that he enjoys as a hobby. He is a clean cut, highly intelligent, educated, successful man, no (visible) tattoos, is a great father, loving husband and doesn't go to bars or really drink and when he isn't riding his motorcycle or working he is pretty much a home body.

Please bear with me, I promise this is going somewhere...

The “Club” he rides with is a Harley Owners Group of middle aged suburban professionals. They meet early Saturday mornings and ride somewhere to have lunch then DH comes home. They take pictures of the scenery, themselves gathering for their meals and of course their motorcycles. Their rides are always planned out and a map is created with details on stops, where they are going and I always know where he is going to be.



Now, how does my description of my DH and what you imagined earlier match up? Honestly?



You see, I was talking with DH about the stuff here on CM and the Obama speech about the TM/GZ case...

There are, frankly, very few African-American men who haven't had the experience of walking across the street and hearing the locks click on the doors of cars. That happens to me, at least before I was a senator. There are very few African-Americans who haven't had the experience of getting on an elevator and a woman clutching her purse nervously and holding her breath until she had a chance to get off. That happens often. And I don't want to exaggerate this, but those sets of experiences inform how the African-American community interprets what happened one night in Florida.

Even though I knew this, we talked about it in more depth. You see, Obama's comments are in no way limited to “the African-american man” DH shared stories of being followed in stores when he is out riding and stops for something in his Harley riding garb. He shared stories about doors locking at stop lights, women acting fearful of him like he is some “Scary Biker”

He shared a particularly poignant story about one of our neighbors whom we are friendly with, completely avoiding/ignoring him at a gas station because they didn't realize it was him saying “hello”. They later apologized.

Every time he goes out for a ride, well maybe not every time but more often than not, he is profiled, people have an expectation of him based on his appearance and the motorcycle he rides and I love him but he's a nerdy, clean cut, middle aged, white software engineer.

He doesn't get offended, it doesn't change who he is, he doesn't act out towards these people, it's just what people do and it doesn't have any impact on him at all. People judge, it's up to you how you react.



by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 5:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fairywings1223
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 5:53 PM
2 moms liked this

My dh rides a motorcycle and work as motorcycle mechanic and builds choppers. He rides a Hyosung gt650. I have a lot of people think differently of him before meeting him. It doesn't bother him either.

BuckeyezRule
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:19 PM

Darn, had a long post written and accidentally hit another topic. Sigh. Bumping for later. :)

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm on my 2nd Harley. I'm 55.

..MoonShine..
by Redwood Witch on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:41 PM
3 moms liked this

Oh oh!!! This is a good example of...

hang on, I have to find it. 


ETA: Here it is!!! 

“But that happened to me too!” – whatever blacks complain about, try to find a case where a white person – you, a friend, someone in the news - experienced the same thing.


Here's the post in case you'd like the whole list (IDK if you read it already). 

http://www.cafemom.com/group/99198/forums/read/18833073/How_to_Argue_Like_a_White_Racist

ExecutiveChick
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:43 PM

Ever been looked at or treated differently when out riding?

And, that's great, DH swears it's the best therapy after a long stressful work week. :)


Quoting EireLass:

I'm on my 2nd Harley. I'm 55.



Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I was with you until you started comparing this to TM...

Good Lord can we let the kid rest in peace please
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Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I highly doubt your dh faves the same discrimination and profiling a young black man does in America.

i was with you until the last section.

stringtheory
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:58 PM
Its different when profiling comes from something completely biological, I.e., literally no choice made. Did your dh start his career by walking into a job interview wearing his Harley gear? Btw, I work with many bike enthusiasts and know that most are complete professionals.
ExecutiveChick
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:59 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm sorry you mis understood my point. Really. This wasn't about TM, it was about our President race baiting and trying to make us believe that profiling is an issue that is somehow only a black issue.

People judge each other. It's part of life. How you react to it is what shows character.

I could have easily used an example of housewives hanging out in the culdesac drinking wine and judging another woman on the street for what she wore that day... "Did you see what she was wearing? What was she trolling for or What was she doing today?"

This just wouldn't have had the same impact. But I see this all the time as well :)

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I was with you until you started comparing this to TM...

Good Lord can we let the kid rest in peace please



Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:04 PM
2 moms liked this
Racial Profiling is not the same as Stereotyping.

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