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Do you think the outrage over Seventeen Magazine's online dating advice is over the top?

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:36 AM
  • 16 Replies

Outrage Over 'Seventeen' Magazine's Online Dating Advice Is Over the Top

by Jacqueline Burt

teen on laptopFunny thing about magazines like Seventeen -- the girls actually reading those glossies are usually closer to, say, 11 or 12. Real 17-year-olds, meanwhile, are already deep into Cosmo territory ... or at least that's the way it was when I was a kid, and that's the way it is for my 12-year-old daughter and her friends. So part of me understands the outrage over a column recently posted by Seventeen's dating blogger about the pros and cons of online dating ... hang on, are we encouraging 12-year-old girls to strike up random romances with creepy dudes on the Internet?! Most of me, however, thinks this is a case of Much Ado About Nothing. First of all, the column didn't exactly advocate online dating (more on that in a minute). But that's not really the issue here.

It all goes back to the thing about Seventeen's target demographic being decidedly younger than 17. Tweens have always been obsessed with magazines (and TV shows and websites, etc.) about older kids living fascinating older kid lives because their own reality is boring -- they want to fantasize about their fabulous futures: What kind of car they'll drive, what color dress they'll wear to the prom, etc. Online dating -- any dating -- falls into the same category: Fantasy

NOW. I do realize that there are exceptions to this rule, which is horrifying, and makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide there until my daughter is 35, but I can't do that, because I need to be keeping tabs on what she's doing online. Which is what we all need to be doing anyway, so does it matter what a magazine says? Here's what the magazine said, by the way:

Let’s face it: we’re all techoholics! Even though we do basically everything online, I always thought of online dating as something older people do. I was talking to a new friend and she was telling me all about her boyfriend. I admit it, I was a little jealous. He sounded so great and she was so happy in her relationship. When I asked her how they met, she told me she had signed up for Match.com and had met him online right away. Now six months later, they’re engaged!

Sounds more like a promotion for Match.com than anything else (which, it's worth noting, has an 18 and over policy -- how easy it is to get around that rule I don't know, but still).

Do you think the outrage over Seventeen's online dating advice is over the top?

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lga1965
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this

 Okay now I feel like such an archaic, out of date and naive person. When I was a teen and in college I read Seventeen magazine. It was very sweet and innocent and wholesome, concentrating on many many topics.I didn't read Cosmo until I was married and in my 20's.

Who lets these kids of today read Cosmo when they are so young? Why do they read it? I would have been shocked.

And when I was about 18, I read an issue of Seventeen that had an article for older teens about getting married some day and how to allay fears and worries about the Honeymoon! Girls were innocent, healthy and interested in so many things other than sex. Sex was somewhere off in the distance and reserved for "The ONE", not just horny teenage boys.. Seventeen was really popular. We didn't look for magazines that were on the edge of being porn.

I suppose now days they tell girls how to give BJ's......

I think I'm gonna have a breakdown now.

See you later.... 

lga1965
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:31 AM

 And, YES, I bet Match.com paid Seventeen magazine to push this . If my daughters were still young and living at home, I would never allow them to meet someone on line. I didn't have to worry,though.They dated friends and hung out n groups as FRIENDS and nobody wanted a serious boyfriend. Guys too. They were too obsessed with school, good grades, part time jobs to save money for college and getting into college.

OMG, I am so glad I don't have teens at home anymore.

SuperChicken
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:33 AM

Lol, I'm in my 40's and Seventeen stopped being cool when I was 15 or 16.    I was in uuniversity and supporting myself by 18 and yeah, Seventeen magazine was way too young.    I never graduated to Cosmo and such though, as I was a bit of a feminist granola and such magazines promoted the subjugation and oppression of women and my friends would have gasped in horror to see any of us reading such tripe.    

SuperChicken
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Ooops. Forgot to answer the Op.  Yes, it's over the top.   If I had a daughter she would NOT have an online dating account until she was an adult and old enough to protect herself and use her brain to realize that a lot of people online are not who they say they are.

And why the heck would a kid in school, sports activities, and other groups need to go online to meet people?

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:44 AM

 Was this the whole article? Or just a very small excerpt.

Let me say, my dd reads 17 magazine. She is 16. Before 16, she just was not interested. So, a 12 yo child reading 17 magaizine is a bit inapprorpriate.

I do not think, from what is posted here, that the magaizine article is "over the top." I think the parents who permit their pre-teen girls to read the magaizine are "over the top" These are probabaly the very same parents who buy thong panties for thier little girls and those short-shorts with sayings such as 'Juicy" across the ass of the pants.

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:48 AM
1 mom liked this

 You crack me up! You had me gigggling at your previous post.

Just rest assured- not all teens are sex-obessed. My 2 teens are very focused on their extra-curr activites through school and getting good grades. Having a relationship for them is in the distant future. All they talk about is getting into college, getting a good career and buying a house. (For my ds he also wants a car lol).

The opposite sex for them now is just too much work and drama!

Quoting lga1965:

 And, YES, I bet Match.com paid Seventeen magazine to push this . If my daughters were still young and living at home, I would never allow them to meet someone on line. I didn't have to worry,though.They dated friends and hung out n groups as FRIENDS and nobody wanted a serious boyfriend. Guys too. They were too obsessed with school, good grades, part time jobs to save money for college and getting into college.

OMG, I am so glad I don't have teens at home anymore.

 

idunno1234
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I hate Seventeen magazine with a passion, especially having three daughters and seeing how probably 75% of the magazine is composed of ads, mostly makeup, clothing, appearance related ads and the rest is drivel about how to look thinner, better, whatever and get boys.  Very few things in that magazine that I would consider worthy of young females and a whole lot that definitely isn't.

The ironic thing is that about three years ago, I started getting not only one copy coming to my house but two.  None of my daughters even reads them, I hate them and my son certainly wasn't interested.  It must have come as some sort of promotion, perhaps attached to an online purchase, something we weren't even aware of until it started coming.  Then they started charging me for these two unwanted wastes of paper coming every month and after repeated phone calls, finally one copy stopped coming.  But not the other.

Then we moved and I thought it was my chance to get away from the dreaded magazine, to break free, to start fresh without being tainted by Seventeen.  I made sure to tell the post office not to forward magazines and I certainly never filed a change of address with Seventeen.

But alas, within a month of moving the damn magazine showed up in my new mail box.  My youngest daughter is 12 and so far, thank God hasn't shown an interest but maybe its because I always toss it as soon as I get it, like the trash that it is.  I think I'm going to be 90 and it will still be coming, grandchildren possibly exposed to the horrors.....

God help me....

lga1965
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this

 LOL. Anytime I can make someone Giggle, that's a good day.

That's good to know about your teens !  You have done a great job with them. :)

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 You crack me up! You had me gigggling at your previous post.

Just rest assured- not all teens are sex-obessed. My 2 teens are very focused on their extra-curr activites through school and getting good grades. Having a relationship for them is in the distant future. All they talk about is getting into college, getting a good career and buying a house. (For my ds he also wants a car lol).

The opposite sex for them now is just too much work and drama!

Quoting lga1965:

 And, YES, I bet Match.com paid Seventeen magazine to push this . If my daughters were still young and living at home, I would never allow them to meet someone on line. I didn't have to worry,though.They dated friends and hung out n groups as FRIENDS and nobody wanted a serious boyfriend. Guys too. They were too obsessed with school, good grades, part time jobs to save money for college and getting into college.

OMG, I am so glad I don't have teens at home anymore.

 

 

2Gs
by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:20 AM

I remember my mom letting me get 17 when I was in high school.  I don't think she ever read it.  It's a horrible publication for girls.  I would never let my kids read this.  

PamR
by Pam on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting lga1965:

 Okay now I feel like such an archaic, out of date and naive person. When I was a teen and in college I read Seventeen magazine. It was very sweet and innocent and wholesome, concentrating on many many topics.I didn't read Cosmo until I was married and in my 20's.

Who lets these kids of today read Cosmo when they are so young? Why do they read it? I would have been shocked.

And when I was about 18, I read an issue of Seventeen that had an article for older teens about getting married some day and how to allay fears and worries about the Honeymoon! Girls were innocent, healthy and interested in so many things other than sex. Sex was somewhere off in the distance and reserved for "The ONE", not just horny teenage boys.. Seventeen was really popular. We didn't look for magazines that were on the edge of being porn.

I suppose now days they tell girls how to give BJ's......

I think I'm gonna have a breakdown now.

See you later.... 

Isn't there actually a version of Cosmo for teen girls?  Horrifying thought.

I read Seventeen in the 70s when I was a teenager.  The dating advice was the same old "change yourself to please a boy."  I have a teenager now and it's essentially the same thing.  I don't like this online stuff, it's dangerous and I think teenage girls are too inexperienced and trusting to know what could happen.  I wish these magazines aimed at girls this age would focus more on them and not HOW TO GET A BOY!  Education, issues, developing their minds, instead of just dating and makeup and hair and clothes.  Foolish of me, I know. . .


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