One could say this is sort of a spin off of the successful/unsuccessful post. Bear with me.
I went to visit my best friend this last Saturday. We've known each other since high school (20 yrs this Sept). We were talking about our main circle of friends we ran with while in high school. We're all friends on FB, but her and I are the only ones who communicate with each other. We started talking about how our lives have turned out. Her and I are the only ones who ended up somewhat successful, her more so than me, LOL.
The two other friends, whom I saw just a few months ago, are still struggling a great deal. And from my observations, they just seemed to have settled into that life thinking that is all they can accomplish. No attempts whatsoever to better themselves.
Best friend and I came from very different socio-economic backgrounds. She was raised by a single dad and they barely made ends meet. I came from a middle class family. The two other friends were similar, one raised in poverty and the other came from middle class.
So how is it that Jen and I are doing well while they're doing so poorly? We all had similar personalities, similiar interests. We all had similar dreams and aspirations.
Jen's theory: supportive families. While in terms of financial status, our families may have been different, but in terms of emotional support, they were very similar. Her dad was pretty lax, but a very gentle soul and his advice could be seen as gospel. And he helped in whatever ways he could. My parents were more hard assed and quicker to voice a less than stellar opinion of things, but still pulled through to help me when I needed it.
The other two? Were treated like burdens by their families. No support whatsoever. I swear they were greeted with packed bags the day of their high school graduation. And that is just the tip of the iceburg. I could say so much more, but I won't. Their families were the poster children for toxic.
Maybe if they'd have more faith in themselves, it would be different. I dunno. But it just seems that for them, after hearing how worthless they were for so long, even through their adult years, they believe that is what they are and feel they don't deserve anything better.