In his 5 years and 2 days I have done the following:
Had him circ'd (and he slept through it)
Let him CIO
Put cereal in his bottle at the pedi's recommendation for his reflux
Took him to see Pearl Jam when he was barely a year old
Doesn't have a tv or a handheld gaming system
Fed him peanut butter before he was 1
Laughed at him when he fell climbing a tree I told him not to climb
Didn't punish the cat when she scratched him for pulling her tail
Doesn't get soda
Got in trouble at school for teaching his class the lyrics to "Busta Move."
Also got in trouble for calling another student a "varmit." (we watch Bugs Bunny)
If he sees burnt orange shirts with a Texas Longhorn on it, he will say "Texas Bites."
He once told a college girl this spring, "You are very pretty. But that was a squeeze play not stealing a base." And I laughed
This week is all abou race and religion and ugly and murder.
Explain why you are a bad mom so we can laugh.