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Wedding denied because Preacher didn't like her dress!

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Do you think he was within his rights to refuse to perform her ceremony? Should he have been required to provide a written 'dress code' or has common sense just gone out the window?

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Houston pastor refuses to marry couple over bride’s dress

Opinion


An angry black woman

A Houston pastor refused to marry a couple in his church, because he didn’t find the bride’s dress to be appropriate.

Lisa Washington showed up to the storefront church she’d rented for her wedding ceremony in a nontraditional wedding gown — a cleavage baring white halter dress that skimmed her bottom. “I’m a unique person,” Washington toldAmericanPreachers.com, explaining her risqué choice. “I chose this dress because it’s different than the traditional wedding gown you see at every wedding,” she said.

“Where is the other half of the dress?” 

Unfortunately, the church’s pastor, Apostle Michael Canty, wasn’t impressed by her lack of convention. The family says that on the day of the wedding, the pastor saw the racy gown an hour before the wedding and asked Washington, “where is the other half of the dress?” The family thought the minister was joking. He was not. Thirty minutes later, the minister sent a church official back to the family to request that the bride cover her cleavage and add length to the dress.

The bride, of course, was not able to alter the dress at the last minute, so the pastor refused to perform the ceremony.  Relatives pleaded with him to change his mind to no avail. One family member, a minister, offered to perform the ceremony, an offer the pastor flatly refused.

I offer my sympathy to the bride, who is undoubtedly mortified that her wedding did not take place as planned. However, she chose to be married in a church, and most churches have rules – unwritten or not—on what is appropriate attire for functions that take place in God’s house.

Washington’s “gown” wasn’t an on-the-fence outfit, the likes of what gospel singers Yolanda Adams and Mary Mary are sometimes criticized for wearing. It was in the vein of what Beyonce’ called a “freakum dress,” at it was way over the line for what a reasonable person would consider acceptable for a church event. I was raised as a church girl and I know that you show respect in the house of Lord.

Whose fault is it?

I don’t fault the pastor for upholding and enforcing the widely-understood standards of what is suitable for church.

I do, however, find fault with the pastor for not providing Washington, who was not a church member, with a general list of rules for what is and is not acceptable in his church. Washington’s choice of attire for a church wedding leads to me to believe that, though she desired to be married in a church, she may not have spent a lot of or any time in one previously. What is appropriate for a church function is clearly not common knowledge and as the pastor allows non-members to rent the space and the pastor performs ceremonies for non-members, the onus is on him to make sure clients know what is and is not acceptable at the church.

That’s doubly important as the pastor reserves the right to refuse to perform a ceremony because he doesn’t find the clothing acceptable.

Miscommunication causes mayhem

The pastor evidently did not cross his clichéd “t’s,” if the bride showed up to the church in club attire. Perhaps instead of devastating the couple and their family members, he could have offered the bride a robe, or cover-up of some kind to meet his desire to have her more covered and she could have been married.  That would have been an happy-ish ending.

Unfortunately, the poor communication on the pastor’s end and the absence of any negotiation despite not providing a list of rules led to a desolate couple and angry family members — who traveled to a wedding that didn’t happen. The pastor has his moral high ground, but at the time of AmericanPreachers.com’s story, the bride still didn’t have her groom.

All because the pastor didn’t like a dress.

 Sexy If its unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in!
  

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:24 PM
Replies (31-40):
12hellokitty
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Seems to me he did provide her with an option, being to cover herself.  It was her choice to not comply. 

yourspecialkid
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 This is not a wedding dress, this is a tramp dress.  It belongs in a night club not a church.

 

This is the picture sent to AmericaPreachers.com of the exact style dress worn by a professional model from the company’s website.

PestPatti
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:03 PM


   If she had any common sense she wouldn't have come looking like a    stripper.  

  Maybe she really didn't want a church wedding but was making  someone happy.  Inappropriate attire will work as an excuse.

 

krysstizzle
by DeepThought on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:10 PM
2 moms liked this

Because god has a dress code, dammit! Doesn't anyone remember that part of the good book, Saint Apostalate 34:67: And god said unto the scantily clad woman, Go home and change you whore, I didn't give you that body just for you to let everyone see your damn legs. Cover up, and make me a sammich while you're at it!

*wipes tear* My favorite book. 

loveutiltheend
by Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:10 PM
Every nice restaurant I've been to posts a dress code.


Quoting fireangel5:

Really? DO you need a 5 star restaurant to tell you not to wear daisy dukes and a bikini top to dine there? Common sense dictates you don't wear strip club wear to a church 



Quoting loveutiltheend:

If the pastor did not tell her what she wasn't allowed to wear then in my opinion he's an a**hole





billsfan1104
by Jules on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:12 PM
3 moms liked this
Why does he have to be the dick? Maybe he assumed that she would be respectful, when coming into someone else's "home". She should at the very least, asked if it was appropriate or what his guidelines are. It shouldn't be up to a preacher to tell brides not to dress like a whore. Especially when she doesn't even attend church.
This is just another entitled bitch, who thinks she gets to do whatever she wants without any consideration of anyone else


Quoting RandRMomma:

He's an asshole. He should have given her the rules BEFORE she paid to use his church for the wedding. I hope she got a refund. As far as the dress goes, I've seen worse on TV. I have NEVER heard of someone doing something like this. What a dick.
billsfan1104
by Jules on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:13 PM
1 mom liked this
My friend use to be a stripper and she had a dress just like this, but it was black and made out of some plastic and leather material.
She wore pasties underneath and a thong

Quoting yourspecialkid: This is not a wedding dress, this is a tramp dress.  It belongs in a night club not a church.
 
billsfan1104
by Jules on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:16 PM
2 moms liked this
I haven't seen any posted at any restaurant. But I guess if they need too, it's because of people like this who need to be told how to be appropriate.

Quoting loveutiltheend:

Every nice restaurant I've been to posts a dress code.




Quoting fireangel5:

Really? DO you need a 5 star restaurant to tell you not to wear daisy dukes and a bikini top to dine there? Common sense dictates you don't wear strip club wear to a church 




Quoting loveutiltheend:

If the pastor did not tell her what she wasn't allowed to wear then in my opinion he's an a**hole






survivorinohio
by René on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:18 PM

I think policy should be clearly outlined when the service is booked.

fireangel5
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:18 PM

I've never seen a dress code beyond tie and jacket and many nicer places don't post it, they are told by the maître d'.

And again, it's common sense. 

Quoting loveutiltheend:

Every nice restaurant I've been to posts a dress code.


Quoting fireangel5:

Really? DO you need a 5 star restaurant to tell you not to wear daisy dukes and a bikini top to dine there? Common sense dictates you don't wear strip club wear to a church 



Quoting loveutiltheend:

If the pastor did not tell her what she wasn't allowed to wear then in my opinion he's an a**hole







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