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FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

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FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)


Dear girls,

I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer!  Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.


I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

So, here’s the bit that I think is important for you to realize.  If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Please understand this, also: we genuinely like keeping up with you. We enjoy seeing life through your unique and colorful lens – which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

Those posts don’t reflect who you are! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.  If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love.  I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient – and act honorably – while they wait for her.


Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down  anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy.

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

I’m glad we’re friends.

Mrs. Hall


Link is HERE.

What do you think of this?  

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:55 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Teenagers have always done things like that, girls posing all "sexy", it's just more in your face now given social media.

its up to parents to make sure the kids are using it correctly, if I seen my son looking at pictures of girls who were scantily dressed I'd talk to him about it and probably tell him that's not the only part of girls he should care about.

teen girls want attention, teen boys want boobs, that's never going to change lol.

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 11:57 AM

 I've got a boy and a girl. Very young but still. I already know how I'll be teaching them. I'll be teaching them both to be strong, free thinkers. I'll be teaching them to respect themselves but that it's ok to be sexual. That is the hard part. Everyone has sex but almost no one respects people who do. It's some horrid dirty thing. I want my kids to have great sex lives. I just don't want them having sex willy nilly because they feel pressured. Have sex on YOUR terms, not because society tells you to. I'll also be teaching them to edit what they put online because it does stick around. Young kids just don't think in the long term so I may be helping them out with the BAN hammer every now and again. I remember dressing sexy when I was in HS. I was just discovering my boobs. Whoo boy! lol I had no less integrity then than I do now. This mom can bite me!

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't approve of slut shaming, and I found the writer smug (and probably clueless).
by Emerald Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:08 PM

 I agree, it's really sad to see some of the things young people post (both male and female)


by Emerald Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:10 PM

 I will say she does sound smug and like she feels boys do no wrong while girls are skanks

Hoenstly I look through these daily (because of my daughter) and it's unfortunate what your people these days put out there

Quoting momtoscott:

I don't approve of slut shaming, and I found the writer smug (and probably clueless).


by Silver Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:19 PM
2 moms liked this

 Meanwhile her boys are shirtless on the beach.  You think girls can unsee that?  You think girls aren't interested in shirtless boys?

Wow.  Double standards suck.  And this lady sucks for having them.

by A.Ham on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:25 PM

It's up to me to teach my son how to regulate his interactions with these girls on social media, not for me to do it for him.

'Cause one day, he will be out of the house.

by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Why is she only blaming the girls?

I don't know, I feel she may be sending the wrong message to her sons.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Bella on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:42 PM

It's a little over the top but I get the jist of it.

by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:43 PM

I see her point.  I cringe at some of the things that I see my DD's friends and cousin post online.  They think they are being cool, but they are being ridiculous, but they are kids.   My DD and I have alot of conversations about social media behavior, too.   As for the letter, I too feel the mom may be too judgemental and teaching her sons to label girls as 'unworthy' because of a few stupid pictures.   Who's to say those boys won't take those judgemental lessons and use them at school and really hurt some innocent's girl's feelings.   again, I get the gist of the letter, but think it could be delivered in a better way.

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