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FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

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FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)

 

Dear girls,

I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer!  Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

IMG_0293

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

So, here’s the bit that I think is important for you to realize.  If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Please understand this, also: we genuinely like keeping up with you. We enjoy seeing life through your unique and colorful lens – which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

Those posts don’t reflect who you are! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.  If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love.  I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient – and act honorably – while they wait for her.

IMG_9517

Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down  anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy.

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

I’m glad we’re friends.

Mrs. Hall

IMG_0272FYI

Link is HERE.

What do you think of this?  

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:55 PM
Replies (41-50):
aj_mom
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:00 PM

Love it!

pattimerz
by New Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I read the blog post FYI (if you're a teenage girl) with trepidation because I knew, from the title alone, that this would be yet another post targeting girls and how they present themselves on line. 

I could have written the same article, targeted to boys who post shirtless selfies or  vines, text my daughters pictures of their abs (or other body parts), and rate the girls in their school on the basis of their attractiveness on their ask.fm or twitter accounts.  “Dear boys,”  I would begin sweetly.  “If you want to stay friendly with a Merz girl...keep your posts decent!”  Except I would have added respectful, because while the author seems to think girls today lack decency, I would offer boys seem to lack respect.

The reason I didn’t write a post like this is because I understand this is not a boy vs girl issue or even a teenager issue, because believe me I have seen adults post ridiculously inappropriate pictures/vines/comments.  This is a parenting issue, and we as parents of the first generation to have such a thing as an online presence need to stick together!  I monitor everything my girls do, much to their disgust and the possible detriment of our relationship.  Is that the right thing to do, or should I let them make their own mistakes, much like my parents let me?  But the stakes seem so much higher now than they were when I was a teen.  When I made a mistake I could literally leave town and start over.  But our kids don’t have that luxury, do they?  If they make a mistake with their online presence it will follow them for the rest of their lives.

And that makes me sad.  Mistakes are a valuable part of growing up, and sometimes I worry that shielding my girls so much from mistakes like this blog points out is robbing them of valuable lessons, and as I mentioned earlier, harming our relationship.  

So instead of discussing how girls act on line, or how boys act on line, let’s have a discussion about how people act on line, and how we can help our kids make good decisions on facebook, (which my girls honestly don’t use anymore), instagram, twitter, vine or ask.fm.  (If you don’t know what ask.fm is, ask your kids.  You’re in for a pleasant surprise.)

cjsix
by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:26 PM
I love this and I understand and agree with what she is saying.
TimetoMomUp
by Runt on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:26 PM


BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!  I know that is right....

Quoting parentalrights1:

Blah blah blah

Girls with sexuality are dirty whores with no integrity or value blah blah

Sluts are responsible for our boys blah blah

I'm a shitty future mother in law blah blah



justinnaimee
by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:29 PM
I think a towel is no more suggestive than the bathing suit pics she proudly peppers the internet with.
jllcali
by Jane on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:12 PM
It seems there's always a "good girl" working her way through the football team. I had a good friend in high school who told me in class once that she had sex with her boyfriend, (they are still together 20 years later) and a "good catholic girl" overhead and called her a slut. Well, she sure wasn't expecting me to point out that she was a hypocrite because she bragged about giving the football team blowjobs on the bus and letting her boyfriend stick it in her ass, in class all the time.

Quoting canadianmom1974:

As someone who has sons, I think you're wrong. I teach my sons to look beyond the 'packaging' to the person underneath. That 'tramp' could be the sweetest girl out there, that 'good' girl could be sleeping her way through the football team.



I think this woman is judgemental and placing the onus on the wrong person for her sons behaviour. They are responsible for their behaviour, not the girls. Are 'scantily clad' selfies a good idea? No, but it says as much about the boys character as the girls if they're ogling these photos.




Quoting romanceparty4u:


I think you're wrong----If I had sons, I'd be on "tramp" alert 24/7

And I'd be blocking tramps after their parents got the photos----



Quoting Its.me.Sam.:

hmmmmm... sounds a little judgemental.. and kind of like SHE is oversexualizing them...as if a bikini pic = bad kid unworthy of her sons.
i have a grown daughter..and i have a son nearing 10.. this is not what how i would address this topic with my son, and i DID always advise my daughter that those pic stay online forever and that she needs to understand what she is representing.  but yeah..  a couple of pics dont mean a girl has no character.. and teaching your son that a girl who may pose a little on the sexy side has less character than one that doesnt may give him the idea that girls who do pose sexy are less than or somehow immoral and thats just not good for women... we all know what happens when you start with that crap.  
i did like how she said she hopes her sons will be worthy of a good woman.  but a good woman can also come in the form of a young girl who took some not so modest pics of herself in her younger years as she was discovering herself and her sexuality.
 





ReginaStar
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:18 PM

I feel sorry for her sons. How embarrassing. 

DSamuels
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Wow, changed your opinion awfully quick. What happened?


Posted by lga1965
yesterday at 10:00pm report
I think that is great! Good !

Quote Like


Quoting lga1965:

 I think this is a little too much, the Mom is a little over the top, and yet I do think boys and girls need to be shown that posting sexy photos and being inappropriate is not a good thing and it doesn't mean that they "are comfortable with their sexuality". Putting inappropriate photos on Facebook, any social site, is not being comfortable, it is exploiting your sexuality and devaluing yourself. Boys need to respect girls and girls need to earn respect by not exploiting themselves and exposing themselves for everyone and devaluing themselves.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:35 PM

The son has wicked eyes in the last pic.

lga1965
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:41 PM

 I said I think it is good. But I think she was over the top at the same time, even though her heart was in the right place., She could have been a little less hyper.. ButI think girls should not post sexy photos of themselves and moms should raise their sons to respect women , Girls who post sexy,semi-porn photos or allow anyone to take such photos of them are making a huge mistake because nice guys won't respect them. The nice guys will fall in love with girls who respect themselves and would never post their photos on line.

Got it?

. So this was good.Her basic message was good.

Why did you copy and paste my other post and try to "get me" ??? How immature.

Quoting DSamuels:

Wow, changed your opinion awfully quick. What happened?


Posted by lga1965
yesterday at 10:00pm report
I think that is great! Good !

Quote Like


Quoting lga1965:

 I think this is a little too much, the Mom is a little over the top, and yet I do think boys and girls need to be shown that posting sexy photos and being inappropriate is not a good thing and it doesn't mean that they "are comfortable with their sexuality". Putting inappropriate photos on Facebook, any social site, is not being comfortable, it is exploiting your sexuality and devaluing yourself. Boys need to respect girls and girls need to earn respect by not exploiting themselves and exposing themselves for everyone and devaluing themselves.

 

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