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When IVF Couples Regret Conceiving Twins

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:52 PM
  • 26 Replies

When IVF Couples Regret Conceiving Twins

They have a right to be disappointed—and afraid of the huge life change ahead of them.

by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM
12 moms liked this

My first thought was, why have another expensive round of in vitro before you buy a house or at least move into a larger place?

AlekD
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:59 PM
3 moms liked this

Exactly. Especially considering that multiples are not uncommon at all with IVF.

Quoting futureshock:

My first thought was, why have another expensive round of in vitro before you buy a house or at least move into a larger place?


                      

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9                                                   My Blog

momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:03 PM
2 moms liked this
Or, why not spend the money to adopt one little girl to "complete" the family? Although I don't like it phrased that way.
I hope they were just defusing their anxiety in the blogs, though.


Quoting futureshock:

My first thought was, why have another expensive round of in vitro before you buy a house or at least move into a larger place?

Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:40 PM
3 moms liked this

This was my first thought too.

If I put that aside, as a mother of twins, I can say, their rants and fears are not unfounded. They have a right to them. I was 25 when pregnant with mine, the rosy glow of ignorance surrounded me. I had no clue, NO CLUE, just how hard it would be. I had one wise friend that instead of giving me platitudes about how babies being a joy blah blah blah, told me that yes, life with even one infant can be extremely hard, but :it gets better.

I reminded myself that on the night they would cry inconsolably in their cribs and I would sit in the floor beside them and cry too. lol. I can laugh now because they are 14:)



Quoting futureshock:

My first thought was, why have another expensive round of in vitro before you buy a house or at least move into a larger place?


futureshock
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree their fears were not unfounded, etc.

Quoting Stephanie329:

This was my first thought too.

If I put that aside, as a mother of twins, I can say, their rants and fears are not unfounded. They have a right to them. I was 25 when pregnant with mine, the rosy glow of ignorance surrounded me. I had no clue, NO CLUE, just how hard it would be. I had one wise friend that instead of giving me platitudes about how babies being a joy blah blah blah, told me that yes, life with even one infant can be extremely hard, but :it gets better.

I reminded myself that on the night they would cry inconsolably in their cribs and I would sit in the floor beside them and cry too. lol. I can laugh now because they are 14:)



Quoting futureshock:

My first thought was, why have another expensive round of in vitro before you buy a house or at least move into a larger place?



pvtjokerus
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Isn't the percentage high on having multiple children when dealing with IVF?

katzmeow726
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 4:55 PM

Yep...Or the 72 straight hours I didn't sleep because they were rotating sleep schedules not matter what I did, while one of them had REALLY bad colic.

The first year was so hard!!! 

Quoting Stephanie329:

This was my first thought too.

If I put that aside, as a mother of twins, I can say, their rants and fears are not unfounded. They have a right to them. I was 25 when pregnant with mine, the rosy glow of ignorance surrounded me. I had no clue, NO CLUE, just how hard it would be. I had one wise friend that instead of giving me platitudes about how babies being a joy blah blah blah, told me that yes, life with even one infant can be extremely hard, but :it gets better.

I reminded myself that on the night they would cry inconsolably in their cribs and I would sit in the floor beside them and cry too. lol. I can laugh now because they are 14:)



Quoting futureshock:

My first thought was, why have another expensive round of in vitro before you buy a house or at least move into a larger place?



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TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Sep. 7, 2013 at 6:13 PM
3 moms liked this
This was posted earlier this week.
I have No problem with their fears regarding twins. I have a huge problem with them bitching about the financial cost of raising twins and where they will put them when they paid thousands of dollars for IVF and live in a one bedroom apartment.
I have trouble conjuring up sympathy for poor financial planning.
turtle68
by Mahinaarangi on Sep. 7, 2013 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Really someone is trying to make this couple appear "rational" and calling them "refreshing".

FFS....they had a one bedroom apartment, they didnt think to upgrade knowing they were going to have two kids?  She cant get on the floor....well welcome to the world of a mother who is pregnant with one kid and has one at home all day.

They are just selfish arseholes who are bringing two innocent lives into a mess where they are unwanted.

babynurse244
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 6:32 PM

We have twins. We were scared. We have 2 other kids. I couldn't believe the number of people who said "better you than me", a sarcastic "good luck", "you're crazy" (what was I supposed to do, abort one???? or both?) We had begun to think we were in for the worst. Then they were born. I know we were lucky. I made it nearly to term. The twins weren't nearly as bad as we had prepared ourselves for. I dont' really think you can "prepare" for everything in life. You can plan, but what's that saying? Life is what happens when you were busy making other plans? There are no guarnatees in life. I have a friend who also wanted to "complete" her family. They had a 3 year old boy, lived in a two bedroom condo, wanted another child. She was going to quit her job and be a stay at home mom. They were going to buy a house. She ended up naturally conceiving identical triplet girls. They are now 16, and she is still resentful. Resentful she had to buy a larger house than they planned. Resentful she couldn't quit working. They are 16 and she is still resentful. Why waste your life? You never know what life is going to give you, sometimes you just have to roll for it. Expect the best, plan for the worst. I can't imagine resenting my kids for 16 years. Saddest part is, these 3 beautiful 16 year olds KNOW they "ruined mom's life". What if the couple had never conceived another child? Would they see their lives as incomplete? And I agree with the financial planning aspect. We have 4kids, but we have room for them, we waited to have kids until we were older and set in our careers and financially stable. Not everyone plans or does things the way we do, people do what is best for them, some people decided not to plan and let things fall where they may and live with their decisions made to deal with the outcome after the fact.

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