Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Parents Give Adopted Kids Away When They Decide They Don't Like Them??

Posted by   + Show Post

Parents Give Adopted Kids Away When They Decide They Don't Like Them

by Kiri Blakeley

All over America, there are people giving away their children on the Internet. And I'm not even talking about the twisted ones who loan out their kids to pedophiles. I'm talking about parents who've decided their kids are too much trouble and want to "rehome" their children like one might do with a pet (which I am also against, btw). Unless you hang out on these specific Internet boards (and let's hope you don't), you probably don't realize that reportedly there are parents all over this country who are handing over their "troublesome" kids to complete strangers, hoping they can do a better job of it. Or at least just wanting to be rid of said troublemaker. As one mom put it about her 12-year-old daughter, "I would have given her away to a serial killer, I was so desperate." What?!

An investigative probe by Reuters and NBC News delved deep into underground "adoptions" that are really no more than people posting on the Internet that they don't want their kids anymore and are looking for someone who does. Most of the time, but not all of the time, these kids were adopted from foreign countries. The children usually range in age from 6 to 14. Over a five-year period, Reuters found on average one child a week being "rehomed." (The actual term these people use -- I guess "abandonment" doesn't sound so nice.)

The parents usually want to rid themselves of kids who came with unexpected behavioral issues -- and the adoptive parents usually give up and don't want to deal anymore. The ads sound like people's listings for bothersome pets -- only they're talking kids. Wrote one "mother": "I am totally ashamed to say it, but we do truly hate this boy!"

Others take a different tack and use more enticing advertising. One ad read:

Born in October of 2000 -- this handsome boy 'Rick' was placed from India a year ago and is obedient and eager to please.

Naturally, the kids then often fall into the hands of abusers, pedophiles, and molesters. All of this apparently goes on either with little government oversight or illegally. Sometimes the kids are tracked down and returned to their adoptive parents. Which doesn't sound like the best idea either.

I sympathize with parents who find themselves with children they didn't quite sign up for -- ones who can be dangerous to the rest of the household, or who eat up immense amounts of emotional and psychological energy, or finances.

But when you sign up to become a parent, you don't always get what you want. A kid isn't a toy. A kid isn't some fantasy ideal. Deciding to become a parent is a lifelong commitment -- whether you birthed that child or not. And if it doesn't turn out the way you pictured it, then seek help. Handing over a kid to a stranger on the Internet is just crazy. DON'T become a parent if you can't take on a lifelong responsibility that may not be the one you pictured.

What do you think of this?

by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:39 AM
Replies (321-329):
buttersworth
by Silver Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:11 AM

I've heard of this before. i think it's really sad, makes me sick to my stomache, but I also think in the big picture of things, this is a testament to what our country is becoming because we lack faith as a nation, we have been destroyed morally, all parts of our society have been exploited, and the values that hold families together have been eroded just so this 'house divided cannot stand'.

If there were to be the 'perfect crime' of how some sick group was to ruin America, they would start with the degradation of our morals so as to afford us little strength to renew our once great and moral nation.

buttersworth
by Silver Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:13 AM

 

You know what, if some idiot thinks their adopted child is bad, the child is probably better off going to another home...provided that home is loving and safe...i hope to God for these children they are.

What kind of parent would one be who thinks their adopted child is inherently bad?

Quoting A-nony-mous:

As an adoptee it digusts me and it frustates me to no end that everyone constantly pours out sympathy to the adoptive parents and have little to no care for the adopted child. The adopted child is bad and brought it on themselves, even though they are only children sometimes only 4 or 5 or 6 years old when they are "rehomed"...sometimes after only a few months or a year into their adoptive home.

I'm sorry but I don't care how "bad" your adopted child is. YOU chose to adopt. YOU chose your child. YOU chose to bring them home. Deal with it and live with it. It's absolutely horrible to "rehome" them just because it's "not working out". People don't do that with their biological child but somehow it's perfectly fine to constantly bounce us adoptees around and treat us as disposable commodities. We're cute in the wanting-to-adopt phase and then suddenly completely unwanted after a few months if we don't act like grateful angels or have some post-adoption issues because apparently it's completely shocking that you can't simply remove a child from their entire culture and history and give them some cookies and toys and instantly be the coolest parents evar!!

These 'parents' are disgusting. They should be banned from ever adopting another child again.  They clearly have an intense set of conditions that children must meet lest they be tossed out to the first person willing to take the child away.


 

romanceparty4u
by Bronze Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 12:16 AM

I think the fuckers should be prosecuted for human trafficking. Sorry I won't even cut to the chase and suger coat it. You adopt, you should act just as a loving birth parent does, or you should not adopt at all.

AdrianneHill
by Platinum Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:37 AM
Do they have a quick system to get rid of biological ones where I don't have to involve Craig's list or tha gubmint?
AdrianneHill
by Platinum Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:57 AM
No, no thanks wacky pants.
They aren't the same. A fetus isn't a baby. A non viable fetus doesn't have the same claim on "life" as a newborn. It just doesn't. One is already alive and breathing, the other is potential.
And potential shouldn't trump the living breathing mother. The woman shouldn't be relegated to incubator as soon as she becomes pregnant. The body is still hers and the fetus needs her not the other way around. Because of that, her needs MUST come first and so she gets to make the big decisions on her body. It might not seem nice but it has to be this way. The other direction is putting women who won't stop drinking in jail for the duration of their pregnancies or convicting women of murder or manslaughter because of previable miscarriages even if causes are hard to pin down. We already have women losing custody of children for not agreeing to c sections, do you want to give the government another way to regulate your body?


Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Actually.. It is.. And for anyone who is ok with abortion? Look that $hi! Up on YouTube!!




Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

That's really not even comparable.






Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

It's not just my body while pregnant. I'm sharing it with another human life and it's just abortion to me is the equivalent of going out and chopping someone up. Why is it "ok" to abort? Would you go into an old mans house and rip him apart "because the world is overpopulated"? Ugh. Didn't know MURDER was ever an option.








Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

It's disgusting in your opinion. Women do have the right to choose what happens to their bodies. There's no way to know if the child is troubled before birth, so that isn't even a deciding factor. The world is overpopulated anyway.










Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Because some kids are troubled doesn't mean they shouldn't be given the chance at life. They may get placed in the home that is right for them, and become amazing people. Abortion is disgusting, and should NEVER be used as a form of birth control.












Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

Me too.














Quoting Chelsey191:

Yet another reason I would rather abort then adoption.






Maxi_Maxi
by Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 7:54 AM
I'm well aware of abortion procedures. I won't ever change my stance. It isn't murder to me.


Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Actually.. It is.. And for anyone who is ok with abortion? Look that $hi! Up on YouTube!!




Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

That's really not even comparable.






Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

It's not just my body while pregnant. I'm sharing it with another human life and it's just abortion to me is the equivalent of going out and chopping someone up. Why is it "ok" to abort? Would you go into an old mans house and rip him apart "because the world is overpopulated"? Ugh. Didn't know MURDER was ever an option.








Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

It's disgusting in your opinion. Women do have the right to choose what happens to their bodies. There's no way to know if the child is troubled before birth, so that isn't even a deciding factor. The world is overpopulated anyway.










Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Because some kids are troubled doesn't mean they shouldn't be given the chance at life. They may get placed in the home that is right for them, and become amazing people. Abortion is disgusting, and should NEVER be used as a form of birth control.












Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

Me too.














Quoting Chelsey191:

Yet another reason I would rather abort then adoption.







romalove
by Roma on Oct. 16, 2013 at 8:02 AM


Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

I'm well aware of abortion procedures. I won't ever change my stance. It isn't murder to me.


Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Actually.. It is.. And for anyone who is ok with abortion? Look that $hi! Up on YouTube!!




Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

That's really not even comparable.






Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

It's not just my body while pregnant. I'm sharing it with another human life and it's just abortion to me is the equivalent of going out and chopping someone up. Why is it "ok" to abort? Would you go into an old mans house and rip him apart "because the world is overpopulated"? Ugh. Didn't know MURDER was ever an option.








Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

It's disgusting in your opinion. Women do have the right to choose what happens to their bodies. There's no way to know if the child is troubled before birth, so that isn't even a deciding factor. The world is overpopulated anyway.










Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Because some kids are troubled doesn't mean they shouldn't be given the chance at life. They may get placed in the home that is right for them, and become amazing people. Abortion is disgusting, and should NEVER be used as a form of birth control.












Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

Me too.














Quoting Chelsey191:

Yet another reason I would rather abort then adoption.







Welcome to the forum.  :-)

GoodadviceMOM
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:10 AM
Oh.. Whew.. Well you just put MY mind and heart at ease!! Oh! Hey! Lets go play in traffic on the freeway because it is only POTENTIALLY dangerous!! Sounds pretty effing ridiculous. That's like saying " I'm going to plant a rose bush, and it could potentially turn into a bird.." No, it is what it it is from the frigging beginning. Sad that people have to make themselves believe that a life isn't a life, when that's all it could possibly be. And on this note I believe it's time we agree to disagree. ;)


Quoting AdrianneHill:

No, no thanks wacky pants.

They aren't the same. A fetus isn't a baby. A non viable fetus doesn't have the same claim on "life" as a newborn. It just doesn't. One is already alive and breathing, the other is potential.

And potential shouldn't trump the living breathing mother. The woman shouldn't be relegated to incubator as soon as she becomes pregnant. The body is still hers and the fetus needs her not the other way around. Because of that, her needs MUST come first and so she gets to make the big decisions on her body. It might not seem nice but it has to be this way. The other direction is putting women who won't stop drinking in jail for the duration of their pregnancies or convicting women of murder or manslaughter because of previable miscarriages even if causes are hard to pin down. We already have women losing custody of children for not agreeing to c sections, do you want to give the government another way to regulate your body?




Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Actually.. It is.. And for anyone who is ok with abortion? Look that $hi! Up on YouTube!!






Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

That's really not even comparable.








Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

It's not just my body while pregnant. I'm sharing it with another human life and it's just abortion to me is the equivalent of going out and chopping someone up. Why is it "ok" to abort? Would you go into an old mans house and rip him apart "because the world is overpopulated"? Ugh. Didn't know MURDER was ever an option.










Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

It's disgusting in your opinion. Women do have the right to choose what happens to their bodies. There's no way to know if the child is troubled before birth, so that isn't even a deciding factor. The world is overpopulated anyway.












Quoting GoodadviceMOM:

Because some kids are troubled doesn't mean they shouldn't be given the chance at life. They may get placed in the home that is right for them, and become amazing people. Abortion is disgusting, and should NEVER be used as a form of birth control.














Quoting Maxi_Maxi:

Me too.
















Quoting Chelsey191:

Yet another reason I would rather abort then adoption.







armynse
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:44 PM

I am an adoptive parent and would not give up on my kiddos. That being said there were families that adopted with us that aborted their adoptions. Yes that is the terms used. The reason . The kids they adopted were sexually touching their bio kids. It became so bad that they had to make a choice for the safety of thir bio daughters( per Children and Youth) You will need to remove the male child from the home or we will have to remove your daughters( bio) from the home for their safety. This was after several years of therapy, individual and family. So now folks you decide what were these families to do? Say what you will YOU CANNOT FIX PEDOFILES! That is why our jails are loaded. It is getting worse. Wake up. Anyone that thinks this is fixable is kidding themselves. I have seen this over and over as a corrections Nurse and as an advanced practice nurse. My spouse also worked with juvinille offenders and adult offenders He saw rectivisism at an alarming 92% rate. The other 8 % didn't make it and committed suicide. Look at the guy in ILL, who held three girls for 10 yrs. While incarcerated he hung himself.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured