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Food Stamp Recipient Tired of Being Unfairly Judged Responds With This Scathing Letter

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Food Stamp Recipient Tired of Being Unfairly Judged Responds With This Scathing Letter

What you're going to read in a couple of minutes will definitely tug at your heartstrings and should absolutely make anyone think twice about judging someone else's circumstances in life. There's a sentiment among conservatives that those who use food stamps or any other kind of governmental assistance are doing so only because they are too lazy or incompetent to work for themselves. While it may be true that where there's a way to abuse the system, some will find that way and take it, the truth is that for millions of Americans every year food stamps and other social welfare programs are the difference between survival and starvation.

 

The Internet brings us this letter from a Sue Bulger in Minneapolis, MN. Sue wrote this letter after getting the stink-eye from a particularly judge-filled person at her local supermarket. Perhaps you've seen someone in your local store paying for their food with a food stamps card. If you've ever felt like maybe that person didn't "deserve" that assistance, or if you've ever wondered if it really helps at all for us to pay into social welfare programs, please read this letter a few times over.

 

If we cannot reach a hand out to those among us who, like Ms. Bulger, need help, then what is the point of being the richest nation in the history of the world? Regardless of whether Sue had extenuating circumstance on top of extenuating circumstance, at one point do we stop acting so selfishly as to cast a judgment-tinged eye on someone in the grocery store for having the audacity to ask for and get help when they need it most?

 

Something tells us if more people wrote or read letters like Sue's, there would be a lot less need for letters like this in the first place.

 

This is an apology to the lady behind me in line at Cub Foods in Edina on a recent Sunday night. This is also a reminder to me and to others who have ever slipped into believing that we are just a little better than others we encounter.

 

We were at the checkout, and just as the cashier started ringing me up, I saw you come to the line with a small order in your basket. My first apology is that I could not let you go ahead of me, but the checkout process had already begun.

 

My second apology was for pulling out my pile of discount coupons for the order, and especially when one required the manager's assistance. I know I was holding you up.

 

And then I swiped my payment method and you lost your patience. It was EBT - "food stamps."

 

I did not observe you, but my daughter was with me packing the groceries and saw it all: "EBT: Yeah, right," you muttered, with that look of disgust that would have shattered someone feeling just a little bit of shame over needing food stamps.

 

As we walked to the car, my daughter told me what had happened, and I sensed her resolve about having made the right decision to work for social justice as she starts her senior year in a social-work program.

 

We talked about you all the way to the car, and about how sorry we felt for people who were judged because they depended on support from others. But my real apology is that I did not make eye contact with you and get out of the car to talk with you as you got into your car right next to mine.

 

Instead, I did what many people would do: I felt ashamed and humiliated and angry about your ignorance.

 

If I'd had the guts to talk with you, I would have told you about my disabled 28-year-old son living with us. We have never asked for public support for him.

 

But recently we have decided that it is our responsibility to introduce him to the programs that will have to support him when we are no longer here to care for him. We started small: He is eligible for food support, and he agreed to receive it to be able to feel that he is contributing his share to the food bill, since he is unable to work.

 

I know we looked like people you might think need EBT: a bit unkempt in sweatpants and T-shirts. If I'd had the guts to talk to you, I would have told you that I'd just had an emergency surgery and that my daughter came home from college five hours away to help for the weekend because my husband had scheduled surgery two days after mine. I haven't been able to put on real clothes yet, and I can't lift a bag of groceries.

 

I thought I could handle your disdain, since I am a professional working at a local corporation where I am surrounded every day by people who respect me and care about me. But it still made me feel a little dirty - unworthy - and I still went home and cried in the privacy of my shower so my family would not know I was hurt by you.

 

I am sorry I did not tell you all of this in person. What my daughter and I resolved is that we will never let my son (her brother) go to the store alone with his Electronic Benefits Transfer card and be subjected to this humiliation.

 

We all have our stories, and no one is any better than another. Everyone deserves the respect they want for themselves, even if they use an EBT card to pay for their groceries.

 

by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Replies (141-149):
MomTiara19
by Bronze Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM

There are so many misconseptions about those using food stamps.

Panero a ceo goes on foodstamps and goes hungry...$4.50 a day.

http://money.msn.com/now/post--panera-ceo-gets-hungry-on-food-stamps

joyfree
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this


OMG! It's a MIRACLE! SB admitted she was wrong--- quick, somebody call the Vatican!

Quoting SherryBerry106:


Oops I think you didn't say "yelling"

You got me.

Quoting FrogSalad:

 where did I say anything about yelling?

Quoting SherryBerry106:


Excellent idea , yell at the people that are paying for your food.

Quoting FrogSalad:

 instead of getting defensive, take the offensive. Keep a card or paper in your purse and when some idiot decides to get in your business about SNAP, give it to them. Say, "since you know I don't deserve to be on food stamps, here's the number to the fraud division. Feel free to call it and turn me in."



 





idunno1234
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:44 PM
2 moms liked this

Conservatives are trying to stop fraud??  OH???

Oh...you mean only fraud committed by poor folk.  And even if those poor ungrateful leeches are doing everything by the book, its their fault they're leeches.  And they love being on government assistance so much, because its such a joyful, wondrous experience, that those entitled assholes become dependent and complacent.  Lazy even.

But wait....here's an interesting site and these are the ones who have actually been caught- I would imagine the tip of the iceberg.  I haven't bothered adding up all the numbers but damn, lets compare what one wealthy slimeball costs the taxpayers vs what one poor slimeball costs:

http://www.irs.gov/uac/Examples-of-Corporate-Fraud-Investigations-Fiscal-Year-2012


Quoting numbr1wmn:

 

Ok so Conservatives are wrong for trying to stop the fraud. We should just let it continue because we would "look" Mean right? LMFAO

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

Then tell me how you mean it. I see you linked a bunch of stuff about welfare fraud. Just proving further that the way I took your statement is indeed how you feel. You can take the time to look all that stuff up but can't take the time to say "no, I don't mean that welfare funding needs to be cut and a lot of recipients are frauds, I mean (insert meaning here)"? What's up with that?

Quoting numbr1wmn:

 


No I didn't. You put words in my mouth.


http://reason.com/blog/2013/08/21/food-stamp-scam-sold-cigarettes-and-beer


http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20130612/BREAKING/130619889


http://nypost.com/2013/07/28/nyc-welfare-food-is-shipped-in-barrels-to-the-dominican-republic-then-sold-on-the-black-market/


http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/local/food-stamp-fraud-targeted/nPScb/


Quoting AtiFreeFalls:No spin required, that is what you said. You didn't say you meant it another way, even when I asked for clarification, just deflected.



Quoting numbr1wmn:

 My point exactly on how Liberals spin shit.



Quoting numbr1wmn:

Food Stamps and assistance is necessary for SOME.  But there are MANY who milk the system. Its there to help!!!!!


Like this addage. How do you mean this OTHER than "a lot of people on assistance are lazy and frauds"?


 


 








 


 


 

 


 

idunno1234
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:57 PM

 Since the poor are the least desired constituents among virtually any politician for the mere reason that they are historically the least likely to vote but even more, they have no super pacs throwing money at politicians to push their agenda, means that this bit of conservative crap that I see spouted everywhere is meaningless with no basis in reality.  None.

Democrats, I suppose just like Republicans, have a spectrum from middle to extreme.  Not all democrats are stupid enough to appear on ads, like some I see in the NYC, literally expressing their believe to tax the rich more and give away to the poor.  That's just stupid campaigning, obvious pandering and short sighted thinking, even if I personally believe that this country needs a huge attitude readjustment and pulling back from the precipice.

Also, what endless freebies are you talking about?  I'm living this fucking life these last two years and I would love to tell me where all these endless freebies are.

And yes, I believe that all people, worldwide are entitled to food, clean drinking water, shelter and security.  If wanting the basics for life for ourselves and our children is an entitlement mentality to your way of thinking, so be it.


Quoting Carpy:

I don't let it make me blind and I know they are not an exception. I also know that pandering for votes by offering endless freebies to those who are victims of decades of progressive regulations and control is creating an entitlement mentality that is proving very destructive to the country as a whole.

Quoting idunno1234:

 What I don't get is how you get let personal experience make you blind to the real need that exists.  We all talk about this crappy economy, the lack of full time jobs that can actually support people, how people have lost so much and been unable to recover.  This is reality.  Its not just my reality.....its so many people's reality.  I see it every day.  The organizations I'm involved with do the best they can but there's few funding resources out there for housing and heat.  Now...less food too if things go the way some Republicans want it to.  Is this really okay with you when we spend ridiculous money on ridiculous shit......is it really okay to let people, kids suffer because you don't want them to be "coddled" on the taxpayer dime?


 You know that your relatives are the exception.  Its unfortunate, it sucks, its maddening but honestly, I find it sad.  We talked about this before.  Addiction is horrific in its devastation.  Its not as easy as saying "I know longer want to be an addict" and voila....all is good.  You know this.  So why show the same disdain for those who are always struggling, working their asses off, trying hard to make it as you do your cousins who are battling demons that money can't fix? 


 


 


Quoting Carpy:

I know he as well as his brother and sister who get disability due to method use are real. It warms my heart that taxpayer support their habits.


Quoting candlegal:


Will we be able to prove he is real?


Quoting Carpy:


I wonder when my cousin will write an open letter condemning those who get pissed because he sells his for 50 cents on the dollar so he can buy the shit to make meth?




 


 


 

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 2:04 PM

Sounds like she doesn't really need the food stamps though.  She was just using them to make her son feel like he was contributing.

AtiFreeFalls
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I had to laugh myself during this conversation lol. Just kept thinking "WTF?"

Quoting joyfree:

sidesplittinglaughterThis is too funny, Ati! You GO!!!


Quoting AtiFreeFalls:The first time I quoted you in this quote tree lol.

Quoting numbr1wmn:


And I said that where?


Quoting AtiFreeFalls:Nope, that's not what I meant. Keep on the fraud. But to say that a significant number of welfare recipients are milking the system is false. The VAST majority of recipients are honest people who need a leg up. You see how easy it is to clarify a position? I'mstill waiting for you to clarify yours.
Quoting numbr1wmn:


Ok so Conservatives are wrong for trying to stop the fraud. We should just let it continue because we would "look" Mean right? LMFAO


Quoting AtiFreeFalls:Then tell me how you mean it. I see you linked a bunch of stuff about welfare fraud. Just proving further that the way I took your statement is indeed how you feel. You can take the time to look all that stuff up but can't take the time to say "no, I don't mean that welfare funding needs to be cut and a lot of recipients are frauds, I mean (insert meaning here)"? What's up with that?
Quoting numbr1wmn:


No I didn't. You put words in my mouth.


http://reason.com/blog/2013/08/21/food-stamp-scam-sold-cigarettes-and-beer


http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20130612/BREAKING/130619889


http://nypost.com/2013/07/28/nyc-welfare-food-is-shipped-in-barrels-to-the-dominican-republic-then-sold-on-the-black-market/


http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/local/food-stamp-fraud-targeted/nPScb/


Quoting AtiFreeFalls:No spin required, that is what you said. You didn't say you meant it another way, even when I asked for clarification, just deflected.



Quoting numbr1wmn:

 My point exactly on how Liberals spin shit.



Quoting numbr1wmn:

Food Stamps and assistance is necessary for SOME.  But there are MANY who milk the system. Its there to help!!!!!


Like this addage. How do you mean this OTHER than "a lot of people on assistance are lazy and frauds"?































































Carpy
by Ruby Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:07 PM

They are called voting blocs.  Why else would LBJ say "I'll have those ni*&ers voting democrat for the next 200 years"?  It is all about the vote.

Quoting idunno1234:

 Since the poor are the least desired constituents among virtually any politician for the mere reason that they are historically the least likely to vote but even more, they have no super pacs throwing money at politicians to push their agenda, means that this bit of conservative crap that I see spouted everywhere is meaningless with no basis in reality.  None.

Democrats, I suppose just like Republicans, have a spectrum from middle to extreme.  Not all democrats are stupid enough to appear on ads, like some I see in the NYC, literally expressing their believe to tax the rich more and give away to the poor.  That's just stupid campaigning, obvious pandering and short sighted thinking, even if I personally believe that this country needs a huge attitude readjustment and pulling back from the precipice.

Also, what endless freebies are you talking about?  I'm living this fucking life these last two years and I would love to tell me where all these endless freebies are.

And yes, I believe that all people, worldwide are entitled to food, clean drinking water, shelter and security.  If wanting the basics for life for ourselves and our children is an entitlement mentality to your way of thinking, so be it.


Quoting Carpy:

I don't let it make me blind and I know they are not an exception. I also know that pandering for votes by offering endless freebies to those who are victims of decades of progressive regulations and control is creating an entitlement mentality that is proving very destructive to the country as a whole.

Quoting idunno1234:

 What I don't get is how you get let personal experience make you blind to the real need that exists.  We all talk about this crappy economy, the lack of full time jobs that can actually support people, how people have lost so much and been unable to recover.  This is reality.  Its not just my reality.....its so many people's reality.  I see it every day.  The organizations I'm involved with do the best they can but there's few funding resources out there for housing and heat.  Now...less food too if things go the way some Republicans want it to.  Is this really okay with you when we spend ridiculous money on ridiculous shit......is it really okay to let people, kids suffer because you don't want them to be "coddled" on the taxpayer dime?


 You know that your relatives are the exception.  Its unfortunate, it sucks, its maddening but honestly, I find it sad.  We talked about this before.  Addiction is horrific in its devastation.  Its not as easy as saying "I know longer want to be an addict" and voila....all is good.  You know this.  So why show the same disdain for those who are always struggling, working their asses off, trying hard to make it as you do your cousins who are battling demons that money can't fix? 






Quoting Carpy:

I know he as well as his brother and sister who get disability due to method use are real. It warms my heart that taxpayer support their habits.


Quoting candlegal:


Will we be able to prove he is real?


Quoting Carpy:


I wonder when my cousin will write an open letter condemning those who get pissed because he sells his for 50 cents on the dollar so he can buy the shit to make meth?










Minnow Slayer

PamR
by Pam on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:33 PM

You don't know why a person may be in need of food stamps and it's so unnecessary to try to shame them by appearing impatient or annoyed.  I was behind a young mom in a store, with a toddler and infant, trying to make sure she didn't have more purchases than she could afford.  She went over by a couple of dollars and the cashier was incredibly rude to her.  The poor girl was almost in tears.  This is a good time for those of us who are fortunate enough to have the ability to help, to step in and do so instead of acting as if the person using food stamps is committing a crime.  We all go through rough patches in life.

AmaraG
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:10 PM
Paragraph 10 of the letter. He wanted to contribute his share of the food bill.


Quoting snookyfritz:

That is absolutely and patently false



Quoting AmaraG:

She got them because he wanted to contribute to the house. The only people legally allowed to eat any of the food is him, not the other family members.





Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting AmaraG:

Um, she just admitted to food stamp fraud.

No, she did not.

If she is the legal guardian for his son, who is disabled, she has every legal right to do his shopping for him.








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