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I think my time has come. Please those who don't believe don't bash me.

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 I really can't take any negativity right now so if you think I am nuts please just close the post and move on.

 some of you who have known me going back the 7 years I have on Cafe Mom might remember I used to be very religious. I became very angry with God about some things about 5 years ago and although I never lost my beliefs I lost my spirituality and slowly went farther and farther backwards until I stopped practicing all together.

Because I never lost my beliefs this really was scary to me because I know if I die while my life style is what it is I will have to be punished and probably spend some time in Hell fire.

At the same time you can't just go back for the sake of going back. You have to be ready and feel it in your heart. I wanted so bad to feel it in my heart but I just couldn't. I have said a hundred times that I am one of those people who are going to have to experience some life changing tragedies to open my eyes.

Well I really have not said much about what is going on in my personal life but the unimaginable happened to me a few days before I got sick about 3 weeks ago. My whole life fell apart and I have never felt so much grief and loss. I was beside my self with emotional pain and I couldn't see any possibility of getting over it. I was at the end of my rope.

Then I got sick. I have never in my life been this sick. I have been so sick that my other problem went to the back of mind. As much as I am suffering from sickness now it is worth it because the emotional pain and loss was much worse.

Some times things are a blessing in disguise. God promises us not to give us more than we can bare. I couldn't bare much more of that emotional pain. I think God has given me this sickness to bring me out of what I was going through. I believe God knew I had just about all I could bare. That might sound silly and might not make much sense but I really believe that.

I didn't realize any of this or even realize I was not feeling the emotional pain of my loss until today because I have too sick to think about anything. Then I went to get the mail today and some one sent me a book. There was no return address on the package. The book is called 10 Amazing Muslims Touched By God. In the book was a letter signed by someone named Faisal. He said he hopes this book will bring me peace.

I have no idea who this man Faisal is or how he knows me. It all hit me like a ton of bricks and everything that has happened over the last 3 and half weeks suddenly all made sense.

I think it is my time. It is my time to make astaghfirullah (repentance) and surrender myself back to God. I have come to a cross roads and there is nowhere else to turn.

I'm just scared to make the move and then not live up to it. I plan to start reading the book tomorrow.

by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Replies (31-40):
muslimah
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:25 AM

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

 Good luck Hun!!! Our religions may be different but when You take the time you realize it isn't a big difference. I hope you enjoy the book! Hugs!

 Thanks. I don't know what your religion is but I think when it comes down to it we are all striving for the thing

momofpreemieboy
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:33 AM

 I'm Christianvwith leanings toward being anti bible. I do read my bible I just believe it has been changed many times by man. Hope that came out right. I had a muslim friend who went completely christian when she moved out of her parents home. She told me her family disowned her. I just never understood why.

Quoting muslimah:

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

 Good luck Hun!!! Our religions may be different but when You take the time you realize it isn't a big difference. I hope you enjoy the book! Hugs!

 Thanks. I don't know what your religion is but I think when it comes down to it we are all striving for the thing

 

muslimah
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:44 AM

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

 I'm Christianvwith leanings toward being anti bible. I do read my bible I just believe it has been changed many times by man. Hope that came out right. I had a muslim friend who went completely christian when she moved out of her parents home. She told me her family disowned her. I just never understood why.

Quoting muslimah:

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

 Good luck Hun!!! Our religions may be different but when You take the time you realize it isn't a big difference. I hope you enjoy the book! Hugs!

 Thanks. I don't know what your religion is but I think when it comes down to it we are all striving for the thing

 

 Muslims actually believe like you. We believe that that the Bible was Gods original message and in the early days the original message held the truth and over time due to additions, deletions, and translation the original message is lost and can no longer be depended on so God sent the last and final message (the Quran) to clear things up. God also promised that the Quran as the last and final message would never change like the Bible has. 1500 years later not a single word of the Quran has changed.

That is our belief and not intended to offend those who are Bible believing.

momofpreemieboy
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:48 AM
1 mom liked this

 That I would probably read and listen to because the bible is just more mans law than Gods law.

Quoting muslimah:

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

 I'm Christianvwith leanings toward being anti bible. I do read my bible I just believe it has been changed many times by man. Hope that came out right. I had a muslim friend who went completely christian when she moved out of her parents home. She told me her family disowned her. I just never understood why.

Quoting muslimah:

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

 Good luck Hun!!! Our religions may be different but when You take the time you realize it isn't a big difference. I hope you enjoy the book! Hugs!

 Thanks. I don't know what your religion is but I think when it comes down to it we are all striving for the thing

 

 Muslims actually believe like you. We believe that that the Bible was Gods original message and in the early days the original message held the truth and over time due to additions, deletions, and translation the original message is lost and can no longer be depended on so God sent the last and final message (the Quran) to clear things up. God also promised that the Quran as the last and final message would never change like the Bible has. 1500 years later not a single word of the Quran has changed.

That is our belief and not intended to offend those who are Bible believing.

 

LexsMami
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:53 AM
Lots of hugs!! I hope you find the inspiration you are looking for and find the faith that you had lost. Inshallah things will get better for you and God will lead you to peace. Message me anytime you want to talk!
muslimah
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting LexsMami:

Lots of hugs!! I hope you find the inspiration you are looking for and find the faith that you had lost. Inshallah things will get better for you and God will lead you to peace. Message me anytime you want to talk!

 Insh'Allah thank you.

..MoonShine..
by Redwood Witch on Sep. 25, 2013 at 2:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Muslimah, we have different paths, but please know that I do understand how you feel. We look to what fulfills our spirit and makes us feel whole. I genuinely hope you find that.
Piskie
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 2:43 AM
1 mom liked this
You are a good person. Faith changes, but that will not, and that is what Allah needs and wants. Good caring people, which he has in you.

You will be okay -hugs-
1Giovanni
by Becca on Sep. 25, 2013 at 3:00 AM
Right know I am pretty much going through the same thing. I hope some day soon I will find my way again hopefully sooner then later. I really don't know how much time I may have.

Thank you for sharing because your words has helped me a lot. I was going to bed but something (probably god) told me to come on Cafemom. This was the reason. :)
Carpy
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 5:30 AM
3 moms liked this

Lately, you have made me think of this. 


Footprints Prayer

Quoting muslimah:

 

Quoting jessilin0113:

Good luck to you.  I hope you find what you need. I'm sorry for your recent troubles, and hope you find some peace and comfort. 

 Thank you but I think I had to experience these troubles. I knew things would come to this point one day I just didn't know when. I think these troubles are actually going to turn out to be blessings.


Minnow Slayer

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