Meet Larry, aka “Romeo Rose”, the delightful prize for some lucky thin white non-goldigger. This slice of man life is looking for his perfect woman.
I am willing to pay anyone $1,500 as a finders fee for anyone that can help find me a girlfriend. (I will give you a extra $1,000 as a bonus if this turns into marriage, I offer this extra bonus as I hope it will motivate you to find me a woman of great quality)
And what constitutes ‘great quality’, you ask as you peep over your copy of ‘The Male Gaze Should Rule Your Existence’? Well Larry’s main criteria seem to be:
I want the girl to be attractive.
Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.
Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order.
I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.
I do not like glasses on a girl.
I do not like tattoos on a woman…To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison.
I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper.
I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times.
Larry also declares he would never be with a woman “that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners” because he doesn’t want “a promiscuous slut”. But don’t worry girls, he’s no prude – he loves “when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!” He closes out his list with by assuring us girls he also has “a very high sex drive.”
In his FAQ he says he’s already tried online matchmaking sites, but they were inadequate: “Half of them were women I liked and would have liked to had a long term relationship with, but they never seen me again after the first date or two.” This is baffling to poor Larry because he’s a versatile and appealing prize, being “an Artist, Musician, Poet, Composer, Performer, Businessman, I am many things” – he informs us “I am a very unique man.” Why, who wouldn’t want to strap on this feedbag full of sex and snowflakeyness?
There’s no update on his site about anyone taking him up on his offer yet. Ah well, maybe Patti Stanger will give him a call.