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You Might Be A Conservative If........

Posted by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:27 AM
  • 119 Replies
8 moms liked this

This has probably been posted before, but hey it is what it is. And before you all scream it, yes it's biased but again it is what it is. 


You Might Be A Conservative If…

AUTHOR JANUARY 14, 2012 1:00 PM

1: You’re irate over the president taking so many vacation days on the taxpayer’s dime (61 thus far), but you thought George W. Bush earned every minute of his leisure time (196 days at the same point in his presidency).

2: You’re happy with your 40 hour work week, paid vacations and company-provided healthcare, but you’re strongly anti-union, because those commies haven’t done anything for you lately.

3: You strongly support the First Amendment and its guarantee of religious freedom to all, but you don’t think Muslims have a right to build an Islamic Community Center in Manhattan.

4: You believe Ronald Reagan was a devout Christian, even though he hated going to church, but any president who spends twenty years going to the same Trinity United Church in Chicago must be a Muslim.

5: You believe when a Republican governor creates a healthcare package with an individual mandate for everyone in his state, that’s a good idea. But when a Democratic president does it, suddenly it’s unconstitutional.

6: You’re so enthused about demonstrating your Second Amendment rights, you can think of no finer place to brandish your pistol in public than at a presidential rally.

7: You believe Bill Clinton was responsible for Osama bin Laden’s escape ten years ago, but thankfully George W. Bush caught up with him and killed him in Pakistan.

8: You believe in putting American jobs first, except when president Obama rescued 1.5 million GM and Chrysler autoworkers, because that was socialism.

9: It angers you that you can’t communicate with the Mexican busboy at your local Olive Garden, but when you took a vacation to San Francisco’s Chinatown, you thought it’s quaint that so many Chinese-Americans are holding fast to their traditional language. Because that’s America!

10: You deny that the lunatic who tried to murder Gaby Giffords was a conservative, even though he targeted a Jewish, pro-choice, pro gay rights, Democratic Congresswoman.

11: You thought it was perfectly normal that every president in history had an untethered right to raise the debt ceiling when warranted, but when Obama asked the GOP held congress to do it, you thought it only natural that it be tied to cutting Social Security and Medicare.

12: When the new 112th Congress was sworn in, you swooned as they promised to focus on “Jobs, jobs, jobs.” But when they pivoted, and went after NPR, Planned Parenthood and gay rights, you cheered.

13: You accuse president Obama of raising your taxes to the highest point ever, even though they’re lower today than at any time since 1950.

14: You believe the wealthiest Americans are “job creators,” and they are — but it doesn’t bother you that all the workers in those positions are in India, China and Malaysia, and they’re doing the jobs that our fathers once did.

15: You believe gays are anti-American, because their lifestyle is a threat to the children… unless they’re married to Tea Party-backed presidential candidates from Minnesota.

16: You strongly defend individual freedom, but that freedom doesn’t include a woman’s right to decide her own healthcare needs.

17: You believe corporations are people too, and are deserving of the same rights as the rest of us. Just not the same obligations to pay personal income tax free of corporate loopholes, or penalties for massive criminal behavior and tax evasion. In these matters, corporations are deserving of special rights.

18: And since corporations are now people too, you must believe in their right to a driver’s license, the right to marry, to adopt children, etc. These rights shall not be denied to Exxon, Halliburton and BP (but still immune from the right of the People to try, convict and sentence to death any corporation that conspires to commit a felony… because at that point, they’re suddenly not people again.)

19: You still believe Climate Change is a myth, and the recent record highs, lows, floods and droughts around the world coinciding with climate scientist’s predictions are all an amazing coincidence. Oh, and Al Gore is FAT!

20: You believe when George W. Bush took the national debt from $5 trillion to $11 trillion, it was necessary for him to do so to keep America safe. But when Barack Obama added to it by trying to rescue the country from a second Great Depression, he was deliberately trying to destroy America!

21: You believe America is a God fearing country, and that the Almighty protects those who believe just as you do. But it’s never crossed your mind that the majority of tornados, hurricanes and floods all occur in the Bible Belt.

22: You believe that no matter who’s in the White House, the office, if not the man himself is deserving of your respect. The only exceptions to this rule, are if his middle name sounds Muslim, and if he’s not at least as white as that black guy who works down in the mailroom at the office.

by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
numbr1wmn
by Nikki on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:32 AM
4 moms liked this

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.

greenie63
by Silver Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:37 AM
2 moms liked this

You are entitled to your opinion. 

Quoting numbr1wmn:

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.


parentalrights1
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:37 AM
7 moms liked this
That's how conservatives are perceived. Any idea why that is if its so stupid?


Quoting numbr1wmn:

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.


SherryBerry106
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:00 AM
3 moms liked this

 

Only radical left wing freeks perceive people not like them, this way.

Quoting parentalrights1:

That's how conservatives are perceived. Any idea why that is if its so stupid?


Quoting numbr1wmn:

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.



 

parentalrights1
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:23 AM
8 moms liked this
Lol and why do you believe that is?

And left wingers are not the "freeks"my dear. Right wingers are the assholes on the wrong side of history


Quoting SherryBerry106:

 


Only radical left wing freeks perceive people not like them, this way.


Quoting parentalrights1:

That's how conservatives are perceived. Any idea why that is if its so stupid?



Quoting numbr1wmn:


This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.





 


lga1965
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:38 AM
7 moms liked this
Number 15 was terrific because it's so true and the one they mentioned in MN is one if the looniest of loons, one of the original Tea Party people. Her hubby needs to come out of the closet.
:-)
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SherryBerry106
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Well, most of you seem to be radical ideologies with no clear intelligence level.

Quoting parentalrights1:

Lol and why do you believe that is?

And left wingers are not the "freeks"my dear. Right wingers are the assholes on the wrong side of history


Quoting SherryBerry106:

 


Only radical left wing freeks perceive people not like them, this way.


Quoting parentalrights1:

That's how conservatives are perceived. Any idea why that is if its so stupid?



Quoting numbr1wmn:


This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.



 


 



 

tanyainmizzou
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:41 AM
5 moms liked this

1) You get extremely upset about the idea of the government coming into our bedrooms unless it's to give everyone free birth control.

2) You believe that people who hold the exact same position on gay marriage that Barack Obama did last year are horrible bigots who are unfit to hold office.

3) You think that Mitt Romney, who has raked leaves for old people, helped a dying child with his will, and paid for college educations for kids who became quadriplegics in a car wreck, is less compassionate than Barack Obama who makes fun of kids in the Special Olympics and made his own brother beg other people to get the money to pay for his child's hospital bill.

4) You think Mitt Romney having an offshore bank account is a bigger deal than Barack Obama forgiving a billion dollars of debt owed to us by the anti-American, pro-terrorist theocrats who run Egypt.

5) You believe that Obama putting more Americans on food stamps than any other President in history is a feature, not a bug.

6) You get angry because you believe rich Americans aren't paying their "fair share," but you don't question whether the government is spending its "fair share" of the money that other people earned on the Stimulus, cash for clunkers, Solyndra, and other wasteful uses of our tax dollars.

7) You think Halliburton bidding for and winning government contracts was a scandal since Dick Cheney used to work there, but you think Barack Obama giving away 25 billion dollars in taxpayer money to help out his union cronies at GM and Chevrolet is honest and above reproach.

8) You believe anti-war protests, dead soldiers, and "grim milestones" ceased to be important the moment Barack Obama was elected and chose to continue many of the same practices he criticized when he ran for office in 2008.

9) You think Mitt Romney putting his dog on top of his car to take on his vacation is a big deal, but Barack Obama eating a dog to GAIN ITS POWERS isn't.

10) You think the key issues of Election 2012 are whether Romney releases his old tax returns as opposed to which candidate can help get the economy back on track, create jobs, and get the debt under control.

11) You don't believe there's any voter fraud in America after watching Democrats commit voter fraud on the floor of their own convention to put God and Jerusalem as the capital of Israel back into their party platform.

12) You believe that most of the people who are criticizing Barack Obama are doing it because he's black, but you would be offended if someone said the only reason you criticize Mitt Romney is because you hate Mormons.

13) You think that the best way to "save Medicare" is to support Barack Obama, who took $718 billion out of the program to fund Obamacare, over Mitt Romney who would kill Obamacare and put that money back in the program.

14) You believe Bush is a war criminal for creating Gitmo and wasting terrorists with drone attacks, but Barack Obama is just doing what he has to do to keep us safe.

15) You get more upset about what Mitt Romney does with his money than what Barack Obama does with our money.

16) You think that giving the SEALs permission to kill Osama Bin Laden is actually a "gutsy call" as opposed to the same call pretty much any adult American not named Louis Farrakhan or Michael Moore would have made.

17) You think Barack Obama's four years of miserable failure at creating jobs makes him better qualified to get the economy going than Mitt Romney's wildly successful career as an entrepreneur.

18) You are demanding that the GOP cease its "war on women" by agreeing to the government-funded abortions of tens of millions of unborn women.

19) You believe that guns are dangerous and should be heavily regulated, that is unless they're being given to Mexican cartels by the Department of Justice, in which case you think anything goes.

20) You accept the idea that George W. Bush is responsible for all the problems we have now because the President of the United States is so powerful, but you also believe that Barack Obama isn't responsible for anything that's going wrong because Republicans in Congress won't let him do anything he wants.

motha2daDuchess
by Bruja on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

this is hilarious, please tell me which part isn't true...

lga1965
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:41 AM
5 moms liked this
By the way, all of those points were true and if anyone doesn't think so, they need to show proof of why they think they are not true.
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