Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Surrogacy is evil?

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:21 PM
  • 274 Replies
3 moms liked this

 Just saw on my news feed on Facebook that some people thing surrogacy is evil.  That parents who cannot have their own biological children the old fashioned way should not ever turn to surrogacy because the babies borne from said procedure suffer.  That psychological studies prove that babies born to surrogate mothers know whose body they arrived through and do not tolerate being parented by other people very well. 

I'm kind of shocked.  I'm an attachment parent and know that bonding is very important, but I do not think that if I had died or given my babies up for adoption that they could not bond with an adoptive mother.  I don't think children raised by people other than the woman who birthed them are doomed to a lifetime of misery and mental illness.  Babies are programmed to develop a bond with the woman who birthed them, but they are also resilient and adaptable, and I don't think its some great evil.

What do you guys think?  Is surrogacy bad for babies?

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:25 PM
8 moms liked this

I could never have been a surrogate or used one.

Evil?

Some people are extreme in their thoughts.  

pansyprincess
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:27 PM
52 moms liked this

Ridiculous.  My sister's kids are doing just fine.  They know I carried them, but my sister is the only mom they have ever known.  They are biologically her and her husbands, and they are happy and well adjusted. 

This kinda made me laugh.  They can't tolerate being parented by others?  Is that like how some people can't tolerate milk and they vomit?  So stupid.

momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:40 PM
32 moms liked this

No, surrogacy is not evil.  Neither is adoption.  

It's another way to shame women.  

AtiFreeFalls
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:52 PM

 This woman I'm seeing say this stuff has spoken passionately about women's rights and equal treatment, and her mother is the same, and she even has a friend who believes men should never be part of child rearing and women should not notify men they are carrying their child and raise their children on their own.  So if its about shame I would be kind of shocked.  Although she IS Catholic, which is a religion full of woman shaming... she's kind of a conundrum lol.

But its her mother arguing with me now about it.  Honestly its not the "surrogacy might have psychological effects on babies" thing that bothers me its the "NO ONE SHOULD EVER DO IT BECAUSE IT RUINS CHILDREN FOREVER" that is pissing me off a little lol.

Quoting momtoscott:

No, surrogacy is not evil.  Neither is adoption.  

It's another way to shame women.  

 

momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:58 PM
2 moms liked this

I think telling women they will harm their children if they let someone else raise them--there is no credible evidence that this is true--is shaming them, and that the next step after that is requiring them to stay home with their kids (rather than using daycare and/or working outside of the house).  It reads anti-feminist to me.  

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

 This woman I'm seeing say this stuff has spoken passionately about women's rights and equal treatment, and her mother is the same, and she even has a friend who believes men should never be part of child rearing and women should not notify men they are carrying their child and raise their children on their own.  So if its about shame I would be kind of shocked.  Although she IS Catholic, which is a religion full of woman shaming... she's kind of a conundrum lol.

But its her mother arguing with me now about it.  Honestly its not the "surrogacy might have psychological effects on babies" thing that bothers me its the "NO ONE SHOULD EVER DO IT BECAUSE IT RUINS CHILDREN FOREVER" that is pissing me off a little lol.

Quoting momtoscott:

No, surrogacy is not evil.  Neither is adoption.  

It's another way to shame women.  

 


AtiFreeFalls
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Both these women think babies should be in the constant care of their mothers. Always. No exceptions. And that one crazy lady thinks no men should be involved at all. I agree that it smacks of anti feminism and seems backward and weird, and is completely unsupported by science.
Quoting momtoscott:

I think telling women they will harm their children if they let someone else raise them--there is no credible evidence that this is true--is shaming them, and that the next step after that is requiring them to stay home with their kids (rather than using daycare and/or working outside of the house).  It reads anti-feminist to me.  

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

 This woman I'm seeing say this stuff has spoken passionately about women's rights and equal treatment, and her mother is the same, and she even has a friend who believes men should never be part of child rearing and women should not notify men they are carrying their child and raise their children on their own.  So if its about shame I would be kind of shocked.  Although she IS Catholic, which is a religion full of woman shaming... she's kind of a conundrum lol.

But its her mother arguing with me now about it.  Honestly its not the "surrogacy might have psychological effects on babies" thing that bothers me its the "NO ONE SHOULD EVER DO IT BECAUSE IT RUINS CHILDREN FOREVER" that is pissing me off a little lol.

Quoting momtoscott:

No, surrogacy is not evil.  Neither is adoption.  

It's another way to shame women.  

 


MomTiara19
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:06 PM
7 moms liked this

I wonder if this woman would still feel that way if she could not conceive a child?

She would make a pact with the devil to be a mother...any way she could...just once.


lga1965
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:09 PM

 No, that is just loony! The stupid things posted on Facebook amaze me.

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:02 PM
2 moms liked this

 Evil? I don;t think so. But do not disregard the fact that a biomom and a non-bio are the same thing either. Not that it;s bad. But they are different. Adoptees do have more psychological issues and suffer from greater mental health issues than those children who were raised by their biological families.

This has been a concern of mine since the use of surrogacy has become more acceptable and more mainstream.

Sorry I can not make this clicky but this is a very good resource on all things adoption.

Impact of Adoption on Adopted Persons

www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_adimpact.cfm
Sekirei
by Nari Trickster on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting FromAtoZ:

I could never have been a surrogate or used one.

Evil?

Some people are extreme in their thoughts.  

this

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)