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Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

A "selfish" dad defends himself

Posted by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 8:45 AM
  • 19 Replies

The guy in this article has a two-year-old daughter and says being selfish makes him a better dad—he goes out to clubs and spends tons of cash. "I’m not living for her. I’m living for me. Me me me." But by then end, I started to see his point. It made me want to start living a bit more that way. How do you all deal with DHs with busy social lives without resenting them? 

The article:
www.mademan.com/in-defense-of-selfish-dads/

by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KiKi-Love
by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 8:47 AM
Eh dumb, but it's his life.
LaughCryLive
by Silver Member on Nov. 7, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree a little. I think it's perfectly fine to enjoy life without your child attached to you 24/7. I think this man is taking it a little too far. Every night? A few times a month is fine for me.
momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Nov. 7, 2013 at 9:19 AM

From the article, it looks as if his wife has a social life herself, and they trade off in terms of child care responsibilities so that each has time to do their own thing from time to time.  I find myself disagreeing with him over the cost of his fun; I think he should be putting more of the money he makes into savings for the child.  Not all, just more.  

Overall I don't find him too objectionable.  Definitely immature and somewhat self-absorbed, but as long as he does his share of chores, childcare, and income generation, his internal attitude about it is not that important, unless it's really offensive to his partner.   If it's okay with her, that's copacetic.   

Everyone in my family has an active social life, as well as spending lots of time doing things together, so resentment of my husband isn't a problem for me personally.   

lilangilyn
by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I actually agree with not living for your kids but living for yourself. What I don't agree with is what seems to be not saving for the future. That creeped me out some.

I like the idea I have heard elsewhere that children join our lives, we don't join theirs. We have children not as focus of life but as an adjunct to it. Works for me.

pixie92
by Platinum Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 3:25 AM
2 moms liked this
His kid will know where he is at a club yatta yatta. he talked about how he is out every night and his wife is focusing on family. wander how long til he is divorced cause once in a great while having time as a family isn't enough. yes we need time for ourselves but damn this man has taken it way to far.
Seximama89
by Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 3:56 AM
Yeah he's pretty selfish. I can understand going out on occasion but every night? When you have kids you have a responsibility . His daughter will probably resent him when she's older.
lga1965
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 6:29 AM
1 mom liked this
He is immature. It's a good thing to occasionally do things for yourself but this guy is not even involved . He's like a single guy who contributes only on his terms if it doesn't inconvenience him. He needs a,wake up call before it's too late.
But it also isn't healthy to only be a parent and forget how to be a person,a husband or wife.
There should be a happy medium.
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IronJennyKidd
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 7:38 AM
1 mom liked this

He really devalues his child.  She's not an accomplishment, she's not a legacy...it sounds practical and somewhat makes sense, but to anyone with an ounce of pride or sense of family that sounds detached.  I don't see this as having a good outcome.  If he isn't instructing his child on his method then it could be perceived as just plain selfishness and the finer point will be missed.  Granted it is a very fine point and could conceivably be missed even with instruction, leaving her feeling abandoned, unloved and more an inconvenience than anything.

snakesNsnails
by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 8:14 AM

He's just trying to justify his selfishness and immaturity by claiming that his daughter isn't his legacy. I think he's selfish and needs to grow up. I feel sad for his daughter and I wonder what his wife thinks, he said her main priority now is family. To each his own but that wouldn't fly in my house.

sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Nov. 8, 2013 at 8:19 AM
He needs to grow up

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