Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dear religion, you've messed with my child. now we fight....

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:15 PM
  • 314 Replies
I was a Christian up until my daughter was 9 (she's 12 now), went to church but she was never really involved with youth groups or anything. I stopped going to church once I realized I was atheist but I've never stopped her.

She's gotten involved with youth groups and was recently baptized. I hate what church is doing to her. She's been talking non stop about the end times and how scared she is. She's afraid that she doesn't believe good enough or what if she sins and she'll be left behind in the rapture? She's afraid she's not good enough to be raptured. Then she started crying because she won't see me in heaven since I'm atheist. She's seriously panicked and heart broken over this. I'm sick to my stomach. She's 12. A kid. These should not be any of her worries. Ever. What do I do? I don't want to take church away from her but I can't allow my daughter to be scared of this bullshit. It's cruel. Am I over reacting by being overly worried?
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:15 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:20 PM
5 moms liked this

 Sounds like she isn't getting the whole message, and is hung up on fear.  But then she is 12.  She isn't going to internalize everything perfectly. 

She is a kid.  God has not given her a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind, scripture tells us.  Fear  - that's something else happening there. 

ZsMommy
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:20 PM
4 moms liked this

Baptist? Mormon? Which "form" of religion -those two tend (not saying "all" so everybody stay calm) to be more doomsday doom n gloom (sorry...non denominational,formerly a Lutheran here). I applaud you for allowing her to still attend church even though you are an athiest,but not all churches and "forms" of religion are the same (and hence why my husband and I decided to become non denom. Christ followers)

krysstizzle
by DeepThought on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:21 PM
6 moms liked this

Jeez. 

My kids have gone to church maybe one time each with friends. They know exactly how I feel about religion, we discuss it quite often. They've never expressed any interest in going. If they honestly wanted to go, I'd send them with one of my dear friends who attends the UU church here. More spiritual, less hell fire. I personally find the hell fire, rapture, all humans are evil and full of sin stuff to be brainwashing, honestly.  I would never let them be exposed to that continually or let them feel like they're not good enough. 

Honestly? In my opinion, I wouldn't let her go back. Or at least send her to a church like Unitarian Universalist or something. More love, less Revelations. 

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:21 PM
11 moms liked this
This is so sad. I don't have any advice for you except maybe try to steer her towards a church with a less extremist view. Not all churches focus on fear and the end times. Kids shouldn't leave church feeling worse about themselves than when they went in.
ashellbell
by shellbark on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:21 PM
It is straight fear. It's unhealthy. I have no idea why this is the message she's receiving.


Quoting TranquilMind:

 Sounds like she isn't getting the whole message, and is hung up on fear.  But then she is 12.  She isn't going to internalize everything perfectly. 


She is a kid.  God has not given her a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind, scripture tells us.  Fear  - that's something else happening there. 


terpmama
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this

find  a new church!


I was raised by an aethist and agnostic and went to church with my nanny/grandma (she wasn't technically related but was for all purposes my grandma). I NEVER had any of those worries because it wasn't a fear based church. They focused on good and wholesome living and praise.

ashellbell
by shellbark on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:23 PM
It's "life church". I thought it was non denominational. I've been a few times and it was pleasant and diverse. It didn't strike me as doom and gloom.


Quoting ZsMommy:

Baptist? Mormon? Which "form" of religion -those two tend (not saying "all" so everybody stay calm) to be more doomsday doom n gloom (sorry...non denominational,formerly a Lutheran here). I applaud you for allowing her to still attend church even though you are an athiest,but not all churches and "forms" of religion are the same (and hence why my husband and I decided to become non denom. Christ followers)


Paperfishies
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:24 PM
10 moms liked this
This is why I'm raising my children as atheists. When they're older and have a better understanding they can believe whatever they want.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ashellbell
by shellbark on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:25 PM
There's not a lot of UU churches here in Oklahoma. The church isn't all fire and brimstone. There are a few gay couples, the pastor incorporates evolution into his sermons. I would've never guessed this was happening


Quoting krysstizzle:

Jeez. 

My kids have gone to church maybe one time each with friends. They know exactly how I feel about religion, we discuss it quite often. They've never expressed any interest in going. If they honestly wanted to go, I'd send them with one of my dear friends who attends the UU church here. More spiritual, less hell fire. I personally find the hell fire, rapture, all humans are evil and full of sin stuff to be brainwashing, honestly.  I would never let them be exposed to that continually or let them feel like they're not good enough. 

Honestly? In my opinion, I wouldn't let her go back. Or at least send her to a church like Unitarian Universalist or something. More love, less Revelations. 


ashellbell
by shellbark on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:26 PM
If I had a child now, I'd raise it atheist. I was religious most of her life. She already believed so it was too late.


Quoting Paperfishies:

This is why I'm raising my children as atheists. When they're older and have a better understanding they can believe whatever they want.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured