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*UPDATE on Couple in Ohio who "RETURNED" Adopted child

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 8:49 AM
  • 198 Replies

 

Ohio official: Returning adopted child a crime

Associated Press Judge James Cissell, right, talks with twin sisters Lauriana and Laylah, 5, after they were adopted by Greg Smith, top left, and his wife Robin Smith, top center, along with their brother Laurence, 8, front left, and sister Liasia, 12, top right, Friday, Nov. 22, 2013, in Cincinnati. The Smiths adopted all four siblings to keep them together as a family. They have cared them as foster children for over three years. Robin Smith acknowledged some anger and other issues among the children, stemming from their experiences before coming to the Smiths.
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HAMILTON, Ohio (AP) - An Ohio couple committed a crime when they recently gave child welfare officials a 9-year-old boy they raised from infancy, a prosecutor says.

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The parents, who were indicted on misdemeanor counts of nonsupport, allegedly left the boy with children's services after saying he was displaying aggressive behavior and earlier threatened the family with a knife. They were due in a Butler County court on Wednesday. Cleveland Cox, 49, his 52-year-old wife, Lisa, and their attorney, Anthony Vannoy, did not immediately return calls seeking comment.

Adolfo Olivas, an attorney appointed by the court to protect the boy's interests, has said the emotionally hurt and confused child is now receiving help that the parents should have gotten for him.

People within the adoption community say they worry about emotional trauma to the child. They say giving up a child after so much time is rare and undermines the stability and commitment that adopted children need.

Christopher Hehn, of Greenwood, Ind., knows the importance of commitment after being shuffled from foster home to foster home before a social worker adopted him at age 12.

"When the going got tough, it was out the door for me," Hehn said. "But when I was adopted, my mother said it was forever, no matter what. She stuck it out, and I was finally able to trust again."

 View gallery."
Jamal Byers, left center, shakes hands with Judge James ...
Jamal Byers, left center, shakes hands with Judge James Cissell, right, after Jamal and Tyshawn Byer ...

Sixto Cancel, a 21-year Virginia Commonwealth University junior in Richmond, Va., also stressed the importance of stability for adopted children.

Cancel said he experienced abuse and never found a good fit, moving from a troubled adoptive home to foster care homes.

As an adoptee, "you need reassurance that you are not alone," said Cancel, who also is an advocate for adopted and fostered children.

Greg and Robin Smith, of New Richmond, about 17 miles southeast of Cincinnati, became adoptive parents in a ceremony last week, adopting four siblings - ages 5 to 12 - who they cared for as foster children for more than three years.

Robin Smith acknowledged some anger and other issues among the children, stemming from their experiences before coming to the Smiths.

View gallery."
Evette Banks looks at a book with her adopted sons ...
Evette Banks looks at a book with her adopted sons Braylin Banks, 2, center, Cameron Cole, 2, left,  ...

"But you just can't give up on children, not matter how hard the situation is," she said.

Two biological brothers adopted this month by the Rev. Edward Byers and wife Darnette, of Cincinnati, say they know the 9-year-old must feel depressed and lonely.

"I know what it's like to move from house to house," said the youngest brother, 14-year-old Tyshawn. "But I would tell him to stay in there and not give up."

Butler County Prosecutor Michael Gmoser has said there are legal consequences to what he called "reckless" abandonment.

National adoption advocates say failed adoptions or dissolutions are rare in cases where the child has been raised from infancy. They said such discord seems to occur more often with youths adopted at an older age.

But Kathleen Strottman, executive director of the Washington-based Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, said that while there seems to be less trauma in children placed with adoptive parents as infants, emotional and behavioral issues can surface long after adoption.

Strottman said she was concerned about the wellbeing of the Ohio child, but she also worried that the threat of criminal prosecution could discourage adoptive parents from seeking help.

"I'm hoping that ultimately there was a good cause for this prosecution," she said. "What everyone wants is a child protection system that first and always stays focused on the needs of the child."

by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 8:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lga1965
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 8:56 AM
8 moms liked this

They adopted him as an infant so I think we can safely say that the way they raised him has resulted in his behavior now at age 9. They are abandoning him because they are too selfsh to get help and change his behavior. The bums.

stormcris
by Christy on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:05 AM

I wonder why people believe they should be able to just walk away. It isn't simply through giving up for adoption that they do this. 

cjsbmom
by Lois Lane on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:17 AM
3 moms liked this

It's also possible he has a neurological disorder of some kind, so let's not just automatically assume their parenting caused his aggression. 

And at 9, if he truly needed therapy and assistance, he can't refuse it. As his legal parents, they could have forced the situation. Sounds to me like they just don't want bothered dealing with the kid's issues. 

Quoting lga1965:

They adopted him as an infant so I think we can safely say that the way they raised him has resulted in his behavior now at age 9. They are abandoning him because they are too selfsh to get help and change his behavior. The bums.


survivorinohio
by René on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:33 AM

I had a troubled violent kid, I was told that until she was ready she could not get help.  She was young when they said it.  I heard it many times through her teens and into adulthood.  I am very grateful she decided she wanted help.


“If your 9-year-old needs help, you get him help,” he says. “It is not a question of a 9-year-old wanting it or not.”


How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


lga1965
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:34 AM

 Sure, it could be, which is why it is even more impoortant for him to have loving ,caring parents to help him. AND, it could have happened to their own baby if they had their own. They are lazy and selfish.

Quoting cjsbmom:

It's also possible he has a neurological disorder of some kind, so let's not just automatically assume their parenting caused his aggression. 

And at 9, if he truly needed therapy and assistance, he can't refuse it. As his legal parents, they could have forced the situation. Sounds to me like they just don't want bothered dealing with the kid's issues. 

Quoting lga1965:

They adopted him as an infant so I think we can safely say that the way they raised him has resulted in his behavior now at age 9. They are abandoning him because they are too selfsh to get help and change his behavior. The bums.


 

lilangilyn
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:42 AM
3 moms liked this

I have a niece that had RAD. She was a terror from the moment they brought her home at age 14 months. When she was about 5 my sister said that if she was still a terror at 12 they would be giving her to the state.

I didn't blame them one bit. The horrible meltdowns, the phsycial violence, the manipulation of strangers, it was all classic RAD. They worked with a PHD who did holding therapy. Though this has been discredited as potentially dangerous, it did work for my niece. She is now an honors student and a nice girl in HS.

However, it took years. Years of the parents being hit, of them sleeping with her in the family bed, of their animals being stalked and hit. I am not sure I could have done it. I might have given her back a lot sooner than age 12.

Unless someone has experience with a child like this, there is very little empathy for these parents.

krysstizzle
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:51 AM

I just don't understand that. 

Adopting is hard, not something to be taken lightly. It's well known that many children that are adopted will have problems. If you're not prepared to to deal with that, don't adopt. 

If you aren't prepared to behave and treat the adopted child as you would a child out of your own body, why even attempt adopting in the first place?

Quoting lilangilyn:

I have a niece that had RAD. She was a terror from the moment they brought her home at age 14 months. When she was about 5 my sister said that if she was still a terror at 12 they would be giving her to the state.

I didn't blame them one bit. The horrible meltdowns, the phsycial violence, the manipulation of strangers, it was all classic RAD. They worked with a PHD who did holding therapy. Though this has been discredited as potentially dangerous, it did work for my niece. She is now an honors student and a nice girl in HS.

However, it took years. Years of the parents being hit, of them sleeping with her in the family bed, of their animals being stalked and hit. I am not sure I could have done it. I might have given her back a lot sooner than age 12.

Unless someone has experience with a child like this, there is very little empathy for these parents.


krysstizzle
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this

This is horrible. Poor child. They raised him from an infant and just think they can "give him back"? Makes me sick to my stomach. 

Fucking awful. 

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Nov. 16, 2013 at 9:55 AM

 How sad

sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:05 AM
2 moms liked this

The same laws should apply as if that were their BIO child and they should be charged accordingly

Quoting krysstizzle:

This is horrible. Poor child. They raised him from an infant and just think they can "give him back"? Makes me sick to my stomach. 

Fucking awful. 


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