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Letting a Baby 'Cry It Out' Is Inhumane

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by Deborah Cruz April 3, 2012 at 5:59 PM


Did you use the Ferber method of sleep training? Do you believe in letting your baby cry it out in the name of sleep training? To me, I think letting your child cry it out is like withholding food from your newborn to teach them how to control their appetite. It’s crazy.

The "cry it out" approach assumes that falling asleep on your own is a skill like any other and that your baby can master this skill if you give him the opportunity. It is also supposed to teach a baby to learn to self-soothe rather than needing immediate attention from their caregiver.

I say this is ridiculous. Eventually, a child will learn to fall asleep on his/her own. You get tired and you fall asleep. You get hungry you eat. It’s a primal instinct; no one needs to teach a baby to do this. They were doing it for months in utero. I suppose these parents are the same ones who believe that you can spoil a baby with too much love. I disagree with that, as well.

Letting a child cry it out borders on inhumane. If my child wants to fall asleep cuddled in my lap, what’s the harm? If my baby falls asleep nursing, am I supposed to wake her up and then lay her in bed alone simply so she can learn to fall asleep on her own? Seems a bit ridiculous and over kill to me.

We chose a different path. We never Ferberized, we instead opted for attachment parenting. We co-slept. We've never had any issues with self-soothing. My daughters woke up, they reach out, and we were there. Knowing we were there, they would fall right back to sleep. They have since gone to their own beds, occasionally they will still find their way to our room. We have no problem with that. For the most part, they understand that if they wake up and they need us, we are just across the hall. Usually, they just fall back to sleep.

Crying it out is nothing I would have ever done. It doesn't work for our style of parenting. I don’t think there is anything to be proven by Ferberizing my child. There is no award for the toughest parent who let’s their child cry it out the most. I will opt for snuggles, cuddles and co-sleeping any day.

Did you let your kids cry it out?

by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Replies (431-434):
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 6:34 PM

I wasn't afraid of anything.

Quoting EireLass: What is it people are afraid of if they don't let their babies cry?

by Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Ok no argument it's an opinion lol people parent differently I'd squish mine if I did dh is terrible sleeper too.

Quoting EireLass: Exactly.......just as it isn't unsafe to cosleep.

Quoting Ricanmami88: Ok so? That doesn't make it safe. You can disagree but I will be firm in my opinion.

Quoting EireLass: entire family must have missed that meeting. My son cosleeps with his 2 babies....I did with mom did.....grandma did....I'll assume it went on before that as well.

So far.....nobody has died.

Quoting Ricanmami88: There is no such thing as safely co sleeping that's why doctors and nurses advise you why not as babies have died because of this. Putting your baby's crib next to you is better and safer that way you can keep better eye on baby. About the Cry it out method it's only inhumane if your doing it to a newborn. A baby older like 6+ months, isn't inhumane because it won't hurt the baby a baby needs to learn how to soothe after all needs are taken care of. Everyone is different.

Quoting paganbaby:

That doesn't make any sense. You can co-sleep safely or let your baby crib sleep and not use CIO.

Quoting Ricanmami88: Very much agreed!

Quoting Caera:

I'd rather let a child cry it out than suffocate it in a bed.

by Teflon Don on Dec. 28, 2013 at 6:49 PM

That's almost exactly what my mom did. I learned from her and co-slept almost from the begining. When it came to my youngest though, I gave up on a crib she wouldn't use and just took her to bed. She got her own bed at 2,lol.

Quoting LadyBugMom09: I did it with my first and hated it. Just eventually brought her to my bed. With my other two, they start the night in their crib next to my bed. When they wake up they come to bed with me and stay there till morning. Their crib goes into their room at 1 year and i bring them to my bed when they wake up. Eventually they sleep all night in their beds and rooms.

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

by Thatwoman on Dec. 28, 2013 at 8:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know... I know that some otherwise 'ultra-crunchy' moms do, and lots of totally mainstream-looking moms don't.

My mom didn't, and she did virtually everything by the (crappy Dr. Spock) book...

Quoting rfhsure: I wonder what other factors surround CIO? Like if the instances of it are higher in mothers who formula fed, or mothers who don't wear their babies, or working mother's versus sahm? Or maybe its the same across the board.

Quoting LindaClement:

Smart cookie!

Quoting rfhsure: True that! When I was pregnant, I was dilated to 4 cm and 50% effaced 3 weeks before his birth. (He's my first). No, its nothing to brag about, and it isn't sensational, but it clued me in from the very beginning that my body was ready for him. I've always felt very in tune with him, as I'm sure most mothers do. If my instinct tells me something in regards to him, I do it, no questions asked

Quoting LindaClement:

You are biologically attuned to hating it --his survival matters to your body.

Quoting rfhsure: Its not for me. I don't think I could do it. I hate hearing him cry.

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