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Can i tell DS there is no Santa? *Update*

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:34 AM
  • 127 Replies

He's 7 and i am not sure if he still thinks Santa is real or if he's just humoring us.

I want to tell him he's not real because we're having a very small Christmas in comparison to previous years and i don't want him to be disappointed. However, if he knows that the gifts came from us, not a magic guy, he'll appreciate them rather than wondering why that's all he got. (At least that is what i'd like to think). 

I never wanted to do Santa in the first place but other people kept telling him about Santa so i went along with it. Now if feel a lot of pressure to keep up the charade and a lot of guilt because i can't.

I was hoping you guys could weigh in a little.

First, thank you for all the advice. I'm really glad i posted this.

On the way home from school yesterday i asked DS if he still believed in Santa. He said he did with a good deal of enthusiasm. There was a long pause. Then i told him. He told her he actually already knew. I asked him how, he said the story wasn't believable and that he figured it out last year.

I told him i still listened for jingle bells after i went to bed on Christmas eve just in case and he told me he looked for Rudolph's nose in the sky last year just in case. I guess we're peas in a pod.

by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LAHnTAH0812
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:37 AM
If you do, do it very delicately, maybe the whole "santa is in our hearts" thing.
i was devastated when my mom told me. I was 5. I already suspected, but she was just kind of like yeah, santas not real. Even at 5 i knew that wasn't ok.
doomsie
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 you have the right to tell your son whether Santa is real or not. No one can take that right from you. People may say you are a mean mom to say that, but to me, you are doing the child no harm in telling him the truth. I really want to do the same with my 7 year old daughter, but her dad is dead against me doing it. I am no longer married to him, so he cannot control me. But I am waiting maybe another year. Just to make him happy. Yes, that's the opposite of what I said. But I just do not want to start anything with him..

Woodbabe
by Woodie on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:40 AM
15 moms liked this

For us Santa only brought one gift...I dont' think kids have to get, or even expect, a ton of gifts. I guess the question is do you want to take away Santa or just explain why Christmas is going to be a lean year?

I waited until my kids asked, and then I answered honestly. I explained the story of St. Nick and how he used to leave oranges and nuts and coins in children's shoes, and how that tradition has grown over the years into everyone giving gifts out of love. And then I reminded them that now that they 'know', they get to help keep the magic alive for the younger kids.

It was a positive experience and at no time did my kids ever accuse me of lying to them about Santa, and they enjoy passing that tradition along.

Honestly, my kids are adults and Santa STILL brings that one special gift.

romalove
by Roma on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:41 AM
4 moms liked this

Tell him that you're so proud of him that he's getting grown up so fast, and that you want to let him in on the Santa tradition in your house.  When you are as old as he is, he gets to be Santa for someone else - maybe do an Angel tree or select a gift for Toys for Tots or something, and let him know that while in your house you and Daddy are the Santa, he too can be part of the giving portion of Christmas, which is even better than the receiving part.

Good luck.  :-)

tanyainmizzou
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:42 AM
7 moms liked this

If you do, please be kind enough to tell him not to spoil this for other kids.

Rubberbiscuit
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:44 AM
4 moms liked this

I vote to not tell him and continue the magic for another year or two.  I milked it with my youngest son until he was at least 12, he didn't believe any longer, but he liked pretending, and we enjoyed the whole Santa thing.  In our house, Santa only brought one gift for each kid and one gift for the entire family to enjoy.  All other gifts were from us parents.  We felt, this way, they would appreciate the gifts more. 

mlb456
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:49 AM
THIS!!PLEASE

Quoting tanyainmizzou:

If you do, please be kind enough to tell him not to spoil this for other kids.

momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

My son never believed in Santa, so I didn't have this particular problem.  It wasn't for lack of us playing along with the fiction in the beginning, it was just never something that made sense to him.  

I think you can bring up the idea and position it as a big-kid secret that he gets to know, but should keep to himself so that he won't disillusion other kids who still believe.  

ShesALady
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this
I told my girls that every year more and more kids are being born and Santa and the Elves have a lot of toys to make so they can only ask for one thing. We used to go overboard on Xmas and I'm trying to downsize their amount of gifts this year. That's a different approach if you want him to find out about Santa on his own. There's a letter on Pinterest that's really sweet and helps explain about how Santa is part of all of us. Its the magic of Christmas.
kameka
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:52 AM
3 moms liked this
My 11 year old still believes :)
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