My DH and I have been close to "Adam" and "Steve" for 20 years. They were there for the birth of both of my daughters and have been wonderful friends. They are my girls' honorary uncles.
We live in another state now and they come to visit once a year. We visit them once a year so we see each other often enough.
This past summer they visited when my oldest DD was 8. She asked me about their relationship for the first time. This is how the conversation went.
DD: Mommy, are Adam and Steve, like, brothers?
Me: No honey, they are a couple that love each other, just like your Dad and me.
DD: Are they married like you and Dad?
DD: Why not?
Me: They live in Texas and in Texas you can only get married if you are a boy and a girl. Texas will not let Adam and Steve get married because they are both boys.
DD: Texas is mean. They should move.
Me: As much as they would like to move to a place they can marry, they have jobs and families in Texas that are important to them. So they stay there. Maybe some day they will be able to get married there.
That was the end of the conversation.
National Woman's Party