Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

I prefer to accept responsibility for my own choices

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 11:45 AM
  • 118 Replies
7 moms liked this

According to my christian friends when things go well in my life, God is good. When my life is difficult I should remember that God is testing me.

What?

What is so hard to understand about taking responsibility, acknowledgement and crisiticism for our own choices?

If you are religious, what has giving your life to God done specificially for you? Was it anything you couldn't do for yourself? Why?


by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 11:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
VoodooVixen
by Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not a Christian.  I am more of a Deist.  I believe there is something out there but I don't think it has a direct connection to us.  When I do something right I am awarded because of my actions and vice versa when I do something wrong.

AlekD
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:12 PM
6 moms liked this
I am Catholic, relatively devout, and I do take responsibility for my choices. I have free will. I don't take full responsibility for everything that happens TO me, though. When I suffer it is not always a direct result of personal sin, but the wages of sin in general. When I get sick it isn't because I haven't been a good enough Christian, it's because sickness exists because of the Fall and people get sick. It happens. I then have the choice to either wallow in self pity or take my suffering as an opportunity to draw closer to the Lord by relying on him and trusting him.

I might be misunderstanding the question, but I really don't see that faith in God and responsibility for our choices as being mutually exclusive.
SallyMJ
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:15 PM
6 moms liked this

We trust God, and we take responsibility.

Not mutually exclusive.

heather77g
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:17 PM
2 moms liked this

I believe in God.. I do take responsibility for what I do whether it is positive or negative. I believe in free will and karma. If I do something wrong I will take responsibility for my own. 


i dont think someones religion means your not responsible.

PurdueMom
by Sherri on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:21 PM
2 moms liked this

I am responsibility for my actions, but sometimes sh*t happens I can't control.  You know, others' free will and all that.

No supreme being responsible.  Just life happening.

buttersworth
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:24 PM
3 moms liked this

I find it curious that although you are implying you are not Christian nor perhaps even religious, that you care what your Christian/religious friends say. Not everyone is perfect, and if they're needling you, it's probably not the best route to express their best intentions to you. I think you should ask your friends, who may be saying these things to you, what they mean. Especially since there are so many kinds of Christians and so many other religions as well that don't always coincide in their interpretations of the Bible or their beliefs. If you generalize you're going to end up with a confusing and maybe even conflicting array of answers. Plus, it's pretty obvious you can't argue religion just as well as you can't argue politics.

Be that as it may, I can only give you my take since you're throwing this out there. It's just my opinion based on what I believe, based on my current level of understanding, interpretation and observation.

So here's mine. We are responsible for our choices. That to me, doesn't dismiss the fact that God is always working in our lives. If you read the Bible, old and new testaments, you will obtain a more comprehensive view of the character of God and of his love for mankind.

For Job, he was always trying to do the righteous thing, and God tested him constantly and he had adversity sometimes worse than those who had no faith or love for God. Others would be rewarded with things, others tested, others punished, and so on. There are demonstrations of God's wrath as with the Great Flood, or as with Sodom and Gomorrah. There is the pregnancy of Sarah who was very old who couldn't previously have a child, and then she was rewarded with one, if you look at the story that way (though there's a lot more to that one). There was the test of Abraham whom God wanted him to sacrfice his son, but only to see if he'd do it out of love for God, and then at the last minute spared Abraham and his son by basically calling it off. of course, Jesus lived the most perfect and righteous life that no man was ever capable of living, and he himself, on our behalf, spent 3 days in hell to atone for our sins, not his'.

The Bible shows that God is not a 2 dimensional character but a living God, who made us in His image. Are we 2 dimensional? No, we are not. We have a whole range of emotions, motivations, intentions, etc. God in the Bible is expressly stated as patient and forgiving but boy, you don't want to tick Him off or make jealous!

Now, you asked "what was giving your life to God done specifically for you?" That question right there implies that we DO have responsibility for our choices. We definitely can choose to do God's will, or not.

It's really hard to answer that question. Not because there isn't an answer, but because the answer, at least for me, would be so specific, and so personal, it wouldn't mean anything to you. You'd have to know my whole life to have it make sense to you. I'm sure there'll be someone who can maybe answer that for you, I don't know where to start. But I'll try with this:

Once you believe that God is the only God, and that He created you and everything and therefore is the ultimate moral authority, then defering to what is right according to God's word while denying your own mind and sense of what you, as a human being thinks is logically right - once God's way is the only way you'll accept in your mind as right, making decisions becomes easier. When you're own mind fights against what you know should be right, and when you try to reason things out according to how a human would do it and not submit to a higher authority - once you wrestle with that, and fight it - that's when it gets hard.

For me, when I do things despite myself but what seems to be what would be right to do as to the BIble, if I don't go my own way but defer to what I think God wants, there is usually a good outcome that I wouldn't, without faith and using my own mind, have expected. It might not present itself immediately, or it might be evident right away. But it always seems that if I'm giving my will over to God's, things are better for me and other people if other people are involved, because God knows better than I.

While people do get tested, and bad things happen to good people who do submit to God, I have never experienced where God would lead anyone astray. I haven't ever seen where doing God's will has led to any kind of betrayal where it didn't work out good in the end for some bigger purpose that even benefitted me.

I think in order to understand your Christian friends, you have to really understand that to anyone of real faith, any faith, there is an acknowledgement of an ultimate authority and a definite reality that often supercedes conventional human wisdom. There is accepting a greater power. That doesn't mean we aren't responsible for our choices. I don't think those two concepts are even comparable because they're like apples and oranges. God actually gave us Free Will, so that we could make our own choices and enact our own will. But as part of having our own free will, we are able also to hand that back to God if we want and say, I want to do it your way God.

Because of free will I can do things for myself. But as Jesus had said in the Bible, there isn't a hair on your head that isn't accounted for by God. He also said there isn't a single sparrow that drops dead to the ground without the permission of God and with that He said that if the sparrows mean so much to God, don't you think people do?

God could suck the air out of our atmosphere if he wanted. Or smite us wear we stand if he wanted. He could do anything, just as he gave Jesus authority to calm the wind and seas when he was on a boat in the ocean with his disciples who marveled at this feat, or just how Jesus said we could move mountains if we had enough faith. But each action we take, whether we tell God we want His will to take over, or we ignore it and do our own thing - each action we take is our responsibility.

 

 

DhampireInTheD
by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:31 PM

Pretty much what I would say.

good

Quoting buttersworth:

I find it curious that although you are implying you are not Christian nor perhaps even religious, that you care what your Christian/religious friends say. Not everyone is perfect, and if they're needling you, it's probably not the best route to express their best intentions to you. I think you should ask your friends, who may be saying these things to you, what they mean. Especially since there are so many kinds of Christians and so many other religions as well that don't always coincide in their interpretations of the Bible or their beliefs. If you generalize you're going to end up with a confusing and maybe even conflicting array of answers. Plus, it's pretty obvious you can't argue religion just as well as you can't argue politics.

Be that as it may, I can only give you my take since you're throwing this out there. It's just my opinion based on what I believe, based on my current level of understanding, interpretation and observation.

So here's mine. We are responsible for our choices. That to me, doesn't dismiss the fact that God is always working in our lives. If you read the Bible, old and new testaments, you will obtain a more comprehensive view of the character of God and of his love for mankind.

For Job, he was always trying to do the righteous thing, and God tested him constantly and he had adversity sometimes worse than those who had no faith or love for God. Others would be rewarded with things, others tested, others punished, and so on. There are demonstrations of God's wrath as with the Great Flood, or as with Sodom and Gomorrah. There is the pregnancy of Sarah who was very old who couldn't previously have a child, and then she was rewarded with one, if you look at the story that way (though there's a lot more to that one). There was the test of Abraham whom God wanted him to sacrfice his son, but only to see if he'd do it out of love for God, and then at the last minute spared Abraham and his son by basically calling it off. of course, Jesus lived the most perfect and righteous life that no man was ever capable of living, and he himself, on our behalf, spent 3 days in hell to atone for our sins, not his'.

The Bible shows that God is not a 2 dimensional character but a living God, who made us in His image. Are we 2 dimensional? No, we are not. We have a whole range of emotions, motivations, intentions, etc. God in the Bible is expressly stated as patient and forgiving but boy, you don't want to tick Him off or make jealous!

Now, you asked "what was giving your life to God done specifically for you?" That question right there implies that we DO have responsibility for our choices. We definitely can choose to do God's will, or not.

It's really hard to answer that question. Not because there isn't an answer, but because the answer, at least for me, would be so specific, and so personal, it wouldn't mean anything to you. You'd have to know my whole life to have it make sense to you. I'm sure there'll be someone who can maybe answer that for you, I don't know where to start. But I'll try with this:

Once you believe that God is the only God, and that He created you and everything and therefore is the ultimate moral authority, then defering to what is right according to God's word while denying your own mind and sense of what you, as a human being thinks is logically right - once God's way is the only way you'll accept in your mind as right, making decisions becomes easier. When you're own mind fights against what you know should be right, and when you try to reason things out according to how a human would do it and not submit to a higher authority - once you wrestle with that, and fight it - that's when it gets hard.

For me, when I do things despite myself but what seems to be what would be right to do as to the BIble, if I don't go my own way but defer to what I think God wants, there is usually a good outcome that I wouldn't, without faith and using my own mind, have expected. It might not present itself immediately, or it might be evident right away. But it always seems that if I'm giving my will over to God's, things are better for me and other people if other people are involved, because God knows better than I.

While people do get tested, and bad things happen to good people who do submit to God, I have never experienced where God would lead anyone astray. I haven't ever seen where doing God's will has led to any kind of betrayal where it didn't work out good in the end for some bigger purpose that even benefitted me.

I think in order to understand your Christian friends, you have to really understand that to anyone of real faith, any faith, there is an acknowledgement of an ultimate authority and a definite reality that often supercedes conventional human wisdom. There is accepting a greater power. That doesn't mean we aren't responsible for our choices. I don't think those two concepts are even comparable because they're like apples and oranges. God actually gave us Free Will, so that we could make our own choices and enact our own will. But as part of having our own free will, we are able also to hand that back to God if we want and say, I want to do it your way God.

Because of free will I can do things for myself. But as Jesus had said in the Bible, there isn't a hair on your head that isn't accounted for by God. He also said there isn't a single sparrow that drops dead to the ground without the permission of God and with that He said that if the sparrows mean so much to God, don't you think people do?

God could suck the air out of our atmosphere if he wanted. Or smite us wear we stand if he wanted. He could do anything, just as he gave Jesus authority to calm the wind and seas when he was on a boat in the ocean with his disciples who marveled at this feat, or just how Jesus said we could move mountains if we had enough faith. But each action we take, whether we tell God we want His will to take over, or we ignore it and do our own thing - each action we take is our responsibility.




LiveinJoy
by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I have had many conversations with friends and acquaintances of various religions regarding their thoughts and opinions about religious beliefs and free will as well as people who aren't practicing religion and free will. 75% of the time answers to my question are fierce and borderline aggressive. I've even been accused of being disrespectful for my questions and opinions. 

I can see why people might become defensive. Sometimes I feel that way when I'm questioned about my religious beliefs.

Thank you for your reply!


Quoting buttersworth:

I find it curious that although you are implying you are not Christian nor perhaps even religious, that you care what your Christian/religious friends say. Not everyone is perfect, and if they're needling you, it's probably not the best route to express their best intentions to you. I think you should ask your friends, who may be saying these things to you, what they mean. Especially since there are so many kinds of Christians and so many other religions as well that don't always coincide in their interpretations of the Bible or their beliefs. If you generalize you're going to end up with a confusing and maybe even conflicting array of answers. Plus, it's pretty obvious you can't argue religion just as well as you can't argue politics.

Be that as it may, I can only give you my take since you're throwing this out there. It's just my opinion based on what I believe, based on my current level of understanding, interpretation and observation.



buttersworth
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:46 PM
1 mom liked this

 I grew up in a family that was pretty split between conservative and liberal. My sisters growing up in the 60s and 70s got into that new age stuff and were liberal but always held onto certain religious beliefs. We weren't a fundamental household, just a talky one, of a mainstream religion. But we talked about religion just as much as history, politics, astrology, dream interpretation, and many things occult. It's really fun for me to discuss such things but I always have to be careful, because I don't want to lead you astray myself by saying the wrong thing. I can only give you my interpretation, and I'm human of course, where I don't want to say something that God wouldn't want me to, and screw you up. So take me with a grain of salt. All I know is, God does love us all and we're too stupid to not have that higher authority, in my humble opinion.

Quoting LiveinJoy:

I have had many conversations with friends and acquaintances of various religions regarding their thoughts and opinions about religious beliefs and free will as well as people who aren't practicing religion and free will. 75% of the time answers to my question are fierce and borderline aggressive. I've even been accused of being disrespectful for my questions and opinions. 

I can see why people might become defensive. Sometimes I feel that way when I'm questioned about my religious beliefs.

Thank you for your reply!

 

Quoting buttersworth:

I find it curious that although you are implying you are not Christian nor perhaps even religious, that you care what your Christian/religious friends say. Not everyone is perfect, and if they're needling you, it's probably not the best route to express their best intentions to you. I think you should ask your friends, who may be saying these things to you, what they mean. Especially since there are so many kinds of Christians and so many other religions as well that don't always coincide in their interpretations of the Bible or their beliefs. If you generalize you're going to end up with a confusing and maybe even conflicting array of answers. Plus, it's pretty obvious you can't argue religion just as well as you can't argue politics.

Be that as it may, I can only give you my take since you're throwing this out there. It's just my opinion based on what I believe, based on my current level of understanding, interpretation and observation.

 

 

storkneedsgps
by Member on Jan. 19, 2014 at 12:47 PM
I believe God helps those who help themselves.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN