Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Since when can a feminist no longer be feminine?

Posted by   + Show Post



Question: Do you consider yourself a feminist and if so, would you want to wear some of the fasions discussed here?


Yes, I consider myself a feminist but I wouldn't wear these clothes. The woman from Ms. Magazine is right.

Yes, I consider myself a feminist but I also like to dress in a more "ladylike" manner.

No, I'm not a feminist, but I agree with the lady from Ms. Magazine

No I'm not a feminist and I love the fashion described here

Other (of course.)

Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 114

View Results

Why you're still wearing those ladylike fashions

By Ann Hoevel, CNN

updated 9:40 AM EST, Tue February 11, 2014

(CNN) -- For the last 12 months, runway shows have been inundated with ladylike ensembles.

Last February, the Fall 2013 collections at New York Fashion Week drew from romantic plaids from the 1940s. The resort 2014 collections made ample use of midi pencil skirts and figure-conscious cigarette pants. Spring/Summer 2014 ensembles embraced full-skirted day dresses, pleated skirts and lower heels, all throwbacks to the 1950s. This year, the look lives on at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in the collections of Carolina Herrera, Monique Lhuillier, Lela Rose and Kate Spade.

Decades since its cinched waists, full skirts and fine fabrics emerged -- 40 years, even, since Diane Von Furstenberg debuted the feminine-professional wrap dress -- what's sustaining this style?

After all, it's fallen out of fashion at times. It's not always practical, comfortable or affordable. These days, it's not the only option, and social norms don't demand women wear it.

But long after it was the prescription, many designers and retailers love it and many women love to wear it, calling it the very model of female empowerment and class.

"Certain designers often have a more ladylike sensibility," said Cindy Weber Cleary, the editor of InStyle magazine, "but that's not to say that there aren't seasons or years when ladylike just feels right."

Even if a feminine style surges or recedes in the fast-paced tempo of high fashion, it's a look that's firmly entrenched in American women's mindset, said fashion historian Rebecca Tuite, author of the forthcoming book, "Seven Sisters Style: The All-American Preppy Look."

Certain silhouettes will forever speak to being a lady, Tuite said: A full skirt, a cashmere cardigan, fluffy ballgowns. Relatively tailored button-down shirts, cropped pants and shift dresses of the same era have gained if the same reputation, even if they're less haute couture.

Consider this outfit: A soft, short sleeve sweater paired with a voluminous, long silk skirt, fitted at the waist.

It's a look that was every bit as ladylike -- and wearable -- when Carolina Herrera designed it for her 2013 spring collection as when Christian Dior produced the essential version in 1955.

Dior's work was part of a revolutionary turn in fashion associated with his "New Look" of 1947. The French designer popularized hourglass figures and full, A-line skirts, along with contemporaries Cristobal Ballenciaga and Hubert de Givenchy. The looks were a dramatic reaction to the meager, economic fashions of wartime Europe and America. American designers of the 1950s and '60s had a way of making the extreme silhouettes of French fashion fit an American audience, Tuite said.

More than 50 years later, Herrera's take isn't quite so dramatic, but rather, timeless and elegant, a nod to her own signature look, a crisp shirt and full skirt. She's one of a few American designers known for their ladylike fashions, such as Ralph Lauren and Oscar de la Renta, Cleary said.

"Carolina herself," Cleary said, "is like, the most elegant, ladylike person on the planet."

And those elegant, timeless looks weave their way from the runway to store racks.

"We look for clothes that are timeless because they are ladylike, simple but not contrived, gimmicky or extreme, smart but not faddy, fashionable but not funky -- chic and understated, the hallmarks of good taste," said Nancy Talbot, who founded the venerable women's clothing store Talbots with her husband in 1947.

The quote is now painted on the walls at the chain's headquarters, as requested by Talbots President Lizanne Kindler.

"For American women, (ladylike) never goes away," Kindler said. "They want to be feminine, and thankfully, American women can do whatever they want."

Indeed, designers like Miuccia Prada, Marc Jacobs and Bottega Veneta regularly push boundaries of what's ladylike, InStyle's Cleary said -- and so do the people that wear them.

"Clothes are (no longer) a reflection of who you are as a person," Cleary said. "One of the most ladylike dressers I can think of is Dita von Teese, and she's a burlesque dancer."

Social norms haven't always allowed women that kind of freedom. Tuite, the historian, said modern women are lucky that dress codes such as Anne Fogarty's rules about what a wife should wear are no longer socially enforced.

"Like anything these days, it's entirely your own rules," Tuite said. When a woman chooses to wear ladylike clothing, either because they enjoy the classic style or because they enjoy pairing ladylike items with unexpected, fashion-forward looks, "you're making your own decisions," she said. "It can be just as empowering as a suit."

Not everybody feels like women's choices have expanded -- or that ladylike styles deserve their place on runways and store racks year after year.

"For the vast majority of women, the so-called ladylike fashion is inappropriate and not even relevant to their lives," said Ms. magazine editor Kathy Spillar.

In the professional world, where women are lawyers, engineers and executives, the silhouettes of feminine fashion diminish their presence and power, she said. Clothing, even suits, that emphasizes the female form are another demonstration of inequality.

"Women do have breasts, they have hips, that is reality. But clothing that is meant to over emphasize that, to make that the identity, there's just no equivalent on the man's side," she said.

As the executive vice president of the Feminist Majority Foundation, Spillar often works with executives and elected officials who lament the lack of clothing available for their professions. She'd like to see other, less ladylike alternatives become more widely available.

"I don't think we have an idea of clothing that would be powerful for women," she said. "I'm hoping that there's more and more pushback on all this stuff."

As I was reading through this article, I was half-interested but it caught my attention because I will be wearing a 1950's style dress for my wedding in about a month.  While I was looking for the dress, I really started liking the clothing style of the 1950's and the 'ladylike' and 'feminine' feel of the era.  I don't think this makes me any weaker or less of a feminist.  So when I got to the end of the article I had to fight the urge not to laugh out loud.  In my opinion, she gives all women a bad name, whether they consider themselves feminist or not.  Why should I hide my curves just so men will take me seriously?  I've been taken seriously my entire career despite being curvy and cute and not dressing in a shapeless shift.

by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 8:35 AM
Replies (81-86):
by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes I consider myself a feminist and I wear whatever the hell I want. It seems that to be a 'proper' feminist, we are supposed to become some sort of a-sexual being. To me it includes embracing my sensuality and feminine attributes, not trying to hide them so that I can 'fit in' with the men. We should never forget that being a woman comes with its own kind of power. Why can't I wear what makes me feel good and sexy and confident? Her comments are ridiculous.

by shellbark on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I've never met a modern feminist who has implied this (not saying that extreme isn't out there,I've just never encountered one).IMO, any woman who asserts that we are "better" than men is as much as a feminist as I am a republican lol.

Quoting dizzy91:

I always thought true feminism was about a woman's right to be who she wants and to do what she wants, without the fear of someone telling her she's wrong for being herself. That means going to work if she wants and the right to be treated equal to her male coworkers, or the right to stay home if she wants. The same applies for clothing and anything else that a person can dictate about themselves.

Modern "feminism" seems more like sexism to me. It has little to do with equality and is mostly about one-uping everyone else who is different from them. It sort of comes across as the opposite of old feminism to me.

"We are women. We are better than men. We deserve to be treated equally, but don't you dare plan on being a stay-at-home mom or feminine in any way, because that's what those stupid pigs want you to do," is really not a whole lot different from, "We are men. We are better than women. Don't you dare plan on going to work or not looking feminine, because that's what those crazy radicals want you to do." It's equally sexist, but it's flipped.

I don't consider myself a modern feminist for that reason. I am for equality, not sexism.

by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:51 AM

I wear what fits my body period..granted I do dress more modestly at work or around my kids..My girls are quite huge so I do de-emphazise unless its a date night or something. But I have no desire to dress like a man just for kicks.

Granted there were situations in the past where I had to (I worked outside at a loading dock in my early twenties but that was more a practicality issue since the lady's dept isn't exactly the best place to find cartharrt coverall and steel toe boots( though they do have lady's clothing it was always cheaper for me to get a small mens)

by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 2:06 PM

The kind of feminine clothes I don't like are the ones where your boobs are hanging out. Unless you're on the beach, you look like an idiot.

by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:33 PM

feminist can wear anything they want who cares how feminine  or masculine it is or anything in between. Even men can be feminist

by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 9:56 PM
I'm a feminist. I believe I can wear whatever the hell I want so long as it isn't offensive or overly revealing.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)