Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Homophobic Couple Feels Excluded By Neighborhood...After Excluding Gay Couples

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:10 AM
  • 145 Replies
8 moms liked this

Dear Abby: Homophobic Couple Feels Excluded By Neighborhood...After Excluding Gay Couples

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!

Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were “different,” they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase “when in Rome,” I don’t feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? — UNHAPPY IN TAMPA


DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.” Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.

I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.

From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don’t blow it.

http://instinctmagazine.com/post/dear-abby-homophobic-couple-feels-excluded-neighborhoodafter-excluding-gay-couples

by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Bookwormy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:14 AM
9 moms liked this
Good job Abby!
jessilin0113
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:15 AM
5 moms liked this

No problems accepting hospitality from others and no problems withholding it. Jerks. 

Arroree
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:26 AM
9 moms liked this

What i find the most pathetic about these people and the stance they're trying to take about how they shouldn't have to "compromise our values" is that they were more than willing and happy to compromise said values to accept invitations from these people and go to functions at their homes but only seem concerned about said values when it pertains to having said people in THEIR home.

So apparently it's not a compromise of values to accept an invitation from a gay couple and have fun with them in the gay couples home but it IS a compromise to return said invitation and have fun with them in their own home.


jllcali
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:31 AM
12 moms liked this
Just like they have a right to exclude others, others have the right to exclude them.

And what shitty little douchebags they must be to write to dear Abby to whine about not being able to take what they dish out. That could be another reason why they are excluded- nobody wants to put up with their shit.
JMmama
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:38 AM
8 moms liked this

What is with the need for people to "approve" of others "lifestyle choices"? How arrogant can you possibly be? My friends have made plenty of decisions I don't "approve" of from who they chose to marry, to how they parent, etc, and I am CONFIDENT that they don't "approve" of all of the decisions I make. And yet, somehow, our friendship remains. I am not my friends' parent and my approval doesn't make a lick of difference in their lives. If they are happy, why would they care about my approval? Why would I feel the need to approve of their choice? I can't imagine saying to a friend, "I don't approve of who you chose as a spouse, so we can't hang out anymore". WTF? I would hope they would kick my ass to the curb if I ever decided to be that presumptuous. 

Seriously. What a-holes. 

ceefdee
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:50 AM
12 moms liked this
Even ignoring the gay aspect, they came into an established friend group, were welcomed and included, decided to be petty and exclude certain members of the group, and they're now shocked that the group picked their long established friends over them? If they can't wrap their heads around why no one wants to hang out with them, maybe the invites are also tapering off because they have the social skills and awareness of a bag of rocks.
TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:53 AM
3 moms liked this

 Yeah, I'm not buying it as legitimate. 

Dear Abby has been dead for years, anyway.  If this is another, they are infringing on the trademark. 

LauraKW
by "Dude!" on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:56 AM
6 moms liked this
The daughter of one of the twins took over her mother's column. I don't know if that is Dear Abby or the other one (Ann Landers? Is that right?)

Quoting TranquilMind:

 Yeah, I'm not buying it as legitimate. 


Dear Abby has been dead for years, anyway.  If this is another, they are infringing on the trademark. 

Arroree
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting TranquilMind:

 Yeah, I'm not buying it as legitimate. 

Dear Abby has been dead for years, anyway.  If this is another, they are infringing on the trademark. 

TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 1:14 AM
5 moms liked this

 Whoops, my apologies.  When you said Dear Abby, I thought you meant Abby.  This is Abby's daughter and while I knew she wrote the column for awhile under Abby's pen name, I didn't realize she was still doing it.  

Never mind.  

She's very pro-gay, by the way, so I would expect no other sort of response other than the sort she delivered.  Though I do agree that the couple should have invited everyone, and I know I would.  

When you invite a group, you invite all of them, not just the ones with whom you openly agree about everything.   

 

Quoting Arroree:

 

Quoting TranquilMind:

 Yeah, I'm not buying it as legitimate. 

Dear Abby has been dead for years, anyway.  If this is another, they are infringing on the trademark. 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN