Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Best to say nothing at all??

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:33 AM
  • 88 Replies

A friend's daughter is pregnant.  She is 16.

I've known this family for many years.  I love this family.  They are a truly wonderful people.

Yet I still saw this coming.

Mom and daughter have posted on their FB pages, with ultrasound photos.

They are on the religious side so of course many people are going on about how wonderful it is, what a blessing, etc.

I can't bring myself to be in that camp.  This doesn't mean I don't understand what a blessing it is for a child to be born, regardless of circumstances.

I just can't bring myself to be thrilled about a 16 year old having a baby, quitting school, talking about how fun it will be to go shopping, etc.

So, do I just not say anything at all?  I don't want to be an asshole but every time I type out a 'congrats' or something like that I can't hit send.

I feel awful about not being able to be thrilled and overjoyed about this young girl and her situation.

by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Carpy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:39 AM
2 moms liked this

I would just not say anything.

4evrinbluejeans
by KK on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:44 AM
2 moms liked this

I think it's best to say nothing.  My SIL is now a great grandma because her young grand daughter had a baby in October.  I've made the choice to just say nothing when it is brought up.  I don't have anything positive to add and I can't pretend to support teens having babies.  

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:48 AM


Quoting 4evrinbluejeans:

I think it's best to say nothing.  My SILLY is now a great grandma because her young grand daughter had a baby in October.  I've made the choice to just say nothing when it is brought up.  I don't have anything positive to add and I can't pretend to support teens having babies.  

They live in Alaska so it isn't as if I will see them anytime soon.

I know things happen and can happen to any one of us.  But I just can't condone this and I really do feel as if I would be.  I also realize I don't have to, it isn't my situation and they probably do not care whether or not I condone or otherwise.

But damn...............they are blasting this all over their FBs and honestly, I am somewhat taken aback by it.

M is on their FB pages as well and she called me, told me to take a look.  She was shocked to see it on there but wasn't surprised by the pregnancy.

Certainly brought about yet another discussion with her.  And her so called 'boy.....friend' as well.  


MaggieO
by Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:51 AM

Saying nothing is the best choice.  Let's hope your friend's daughter gets the support she needs to care for herself and her baby.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:52 AM


Quoting MaggieO:

Saying nothing is the best choice.  Let's hope your friend's daughter gets the support she needs to care for herself and her baby.

She has the support.  Her family is fully supporting her, in all aspects.  Which is a very good thing.  I just wish, even though it really is none of my business, they did not support her quitting school and obtaining her GED.


PinkButterfly66
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I completely understand.  It's kinda hard to be joyful over the fact that this child has just made her life 1000% harder than it should have been by not postponing pregnancy a decade or 2.

Cmgmqmmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:53 AM
I'd say nothing. If you regularly comment, your silence will say all you want it to.
jllcali
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:53 AM
2 moms liked this
I would say nothing. Unless they pestered me for a comment. Then I would warn them to be careful what they asked for because I would give them my honest opinion. If they continued I would tell them what I thought.
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:56 AM

Honestly, I think this brings up fears for me.  

I know that in all reality, regardless of how you raise your children, what you teach them, etc, this possibility is always there.

I look at my 14 year old and I  tremble at the thought..........

My oldest, who was just shy of 20 when she had my most precious Grandson, has told her younger sister that while she would not trade him for any thing............they were certainly not ready when she found out she was pregnant.  Sure, she had already graduated high school, was working, going to college and such but it put them on another path.  While they have certainly paved a wonderful, stable and strong path, not every one can or does at such a young age.


4evrinbluejeans
by KK on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Quoting 4evrinbluejeans:

I think it's best to say nothing.  My SILLY is now a great grandma because her young grand daughter had a baby in October.  I've made the choice to just say nothing when it is brought up.  I don't have anything positive to add and I can't pretend to support teens having babies.  

They live in Alaska so it isn't as if I will see them anytime soon.

I know things happen and can happen to any one of us.  But I just can't condone this and I really do feel as if I would be.  I also realize I don't have to, it isn't my situation and they probably do not care whether or not I condone or otherwise.

But damn...............they are blasting this all over their FBs and honestly, I am somewhat taken aback by it.

M is on their FB pages as well and she called me, told me to take a look.  She was shocked to see it on there but wasn't surprised by the pregnancy.

Certainly brought about yet another discussion with her.  And her so called 'boy.....friend' as well.  

Is this the same friend who was pregnant a few years ago? I would probably just change my settings so I see less of their FB updates.  Out of sight out of mind. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN