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8 yr old boy confession at dinner table about s-e-x...need advice!

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 8:00 AM
  • 64 Replies

At dinner time everything is shut off as its time to share and talk among the family.  Last night it was my 2 yr old son, 8 yr old stepson and me.  I asked him some regular questions, what did he learn at school, something funny, something sad....He told me he couldn't share the FUNNY one and I reasurred him he could tell me anything and he said its about S-E-X.  I said ok.  He told me a few of the kids in afterschool were playing a game where they act out what's on the card and this time it was 'doormat' so a boy laid down on the floor.  Another boy came to step over him and was somehow sitting on him and my stepson said he was laughing because it looked like they were having sex.  I asked some questions, 'how do you know what sex looks' like' and he responded its when 2 weiners are touching.  I asked where he got that from and he couldn't really answer. We talked a little more and then I asked for another event of the day and he said a kid was annoying him so he spit in his face.  I told him that was wrong and he should never act out like that.  He said 'well he was annoying me.

I would love advice on whether the sex comment should be concerning or if this is normal boy behavior?  I must say that last year we did have an incident with his little brother who was about 1 year oldat the time and my stepson said that in order (for my 1 yr old son) for him to pass, he needs to touch me 'here' and he pointed to his privates.  We were very concerned and explained to him that no one should be touching him there nor should he be touching anyone.  Those are our private parts!  

I told his father last night when we were alone about the comments but we agreed that he won't bring it up to his son because it was shared around the dinner table and we don't want him to feel like he's in trouble for sharing.  But now we are both know what happened and what he's thinking & can stay 'aware' of the situation.  

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED. 

by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Clairwil
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:27 AM


Quoting NYMom1369:

we did have an incident with his little brother who was about 1 year old at the time and my stepson said that in order (for my 1 yr old son) for him to pass, he needs to touch me 'here' and he pointed to his privates. 

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED. 

That would concern me.

codfish
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:29 AM
I would be extremely concerned. I am never one to scream abuse, but I wouldn't let this drop.
12hellokitty
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:35 AM

I would most definitely be concerned.  

JoanahLee
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:36 AM
5 moms liked this

Unless there are people in his life you are worried about AND other signs of abuse I would not jump on that boat just yet. 

an 8 year old boy thinking that sex is when "two wieners touch" could be pretty normal.  Whos knows what he caught a glimpse of, heard on the playground or misinterpreted. 

Id take the oppertunity to have a talk with him and explain what sex really is, talk about who can and can't touch our bodies and go over the things you should always tell your parents about and stress that you will never ever get in trouble for telling.  If nothing has happened he will simply be more informed, if something has happened he will have more oppertunity to tell you about it in more detail. 

furbabymum
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:39 AM
4 moms liked this

 Well, yes and no. I think being aware is great. I think the incident with the 1 year old was very concerning. However, I grew up with an older brother. Kids are body curious. I can remember playing truth or dare and asking to see "it". Normal curiosity imo. Not that I touched it or had it forced upon me. That's different. As for him knowing sex...hard to hide with TV, internet and other kids around. I know that's how I learned about it, other kids telling me things.

So I think it might be time to broach the subject of sex and male, female relations in an age appropriate way. I know I plan to be very open with my kids. My son will already proudly proclaim that he's a boy because he has a penis and girls have vaginas. He's 3. I believe teaching the correct names for parts is incredibly important.

mikiemom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:40 AM

I think you should let your husband and the mother of the child deal with it. Tell your dh about the conversation and let him take it from there.

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:40 AM
2 moms liked this

It deserves further investigation.

Best case scenerio, It could be a misunderstanding about what sex actually is (because kids say the darnedest things)...and in this case, its time to have an age appropriate talk about human biology, good touch, bad touch etc.

Worst case scenerio, this kids was touched inappropriately and is now a danger to do this to other kids....

It sounds like you have a good and open relationship with him on communication and you are doing a lot of that right. So see if you can get him to open up more about where this knowledge comes from. If you can't, you might need to talk to a councilor for help. 

Yes, I would be concerned.

    

Nice Widdle Puppy


MissusCleaver
by New Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 10:43 AM
Go with your gut mama!
RTMJDNTARDIS
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:05 PM

I would be VERY concerned...espeically since his information on sex is not correct.

frankiesma530
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:07 PM

I would be concerned.

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