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Is this acceptable? Friend's mom punishing your child.

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 11:50 AM
  • 132 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should friend's parents have a say in how your child is punished?

Options:

Yes of course. It takes a whole village.

No. Only S/O and I have that right.

Depends on the circumstances and how good of a friend they are.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 137

View Results

My dd got into some trouble last week. She's grounded until she works off the money she owes (Lots of chores at slave wages,lol)

Now her "cousin" (dd's bio mom and girl's mom have been friends since teenagers) invited her to sleep over at her birthday party next month. I don't have an issue with it as long as she gets all of her work done before the party. But now the friends mom is saying that maybe dd doesn't deserve to go because she got in trouble. She shouldn't be rewarded when she's still under punishment.

This irritated me. It seems like because she's bio moms best friend, she feels like she has the right to dole out more punishments to dd. Not even. If you don't want my daughter to come over fine, but don't act like you have any say in how she's parented.

by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 31, 2014 at 11:57 AM
6 moms liked this

She has no say so in how you choose to punish your daughter.

Going to the party, provided her work is done, could be an incentive for your daughter.

Sounds to me like this woman doesn't want your daughter there and is using this as an excuse.

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:02 PM

My thoughts too.

I can accept it she doesn't want dd there, just be honest about it.

Quoting FromAtoZ:

She has no say so in how you choose to punish your daughter.

Going to the party, provided her work is done, could be an incentive for your daughter.

Sounds to me like this woman doesn't want your daughter there and is using this as an excuse.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














Fun_NCmom06
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:21 PM

 She has no right to tell you how you should punish your child. I say let her go to the party.   When my daughter is at someone's house I tell her to obey their rules. If she disobeys their rules I tell them to call me or put her in time out or take a privelege away from her. It really depends how well I know you in order for you to discipline my child. I don't let others spank my child. My husband and I do that if she is really bad which isn't often. Over all she is a good kid.

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Not okay. Nobody punishes my child but myself and my husband, unless that person is directly charged with watching my child during that time (and then the punishment - time out, etc - extends only to the time they are watching the child, and within parameters that I approve of).

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:24 PM

Let her go to the psarty?

And yes, I'm with you. If she's at someones house, she has to obey their rules. She's 14 now so I don't have too many issues with that,lol.

Quoting Fun_NCmom06:

 She has no right to tell you how you should punish your child. I say let her go.   When my daughter is at someone's house I tell her to obey their rules. If she disobeys their rules I tell them to call me or put her in time out or take a privelege away from her. It really depends how well I know you in order for you to discipline my child. I don't let others spank my child. My husband and I do that if she is really bad which isn't often. Over all she is a good kid.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:25 PM

Who voted that it is okay for someone else to punish your child?

I'm curious as to the circumstances where  people feel it is appropriate.

Outside, of course, during the time someone else may have been placed in charge of the child and then, the punishments acceptable should be agreed upon by the parents and not expected to extend outside of that time frame, unless the parents make that choice.

zoo003
by Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this

No, she has no right to punish your child.  The only way I could see her having any kind of say is if your dd did something and she now believes that she is a bad influence for her dd (not saying this is the case and that would be more of keeping her child away from yours and not a disciplinarian action).  Otherwise, no, she is not the parent and therefore, has no right to discipline your child.  

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:26 PM

Exactly. I babysit. While I'm babysitting I can put the kids in time out, take away a toy if they're fighting, ect but I can't dictate what happens after I leave, nor would I even want too.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

Not okay. Nobody punishes my child but myself and my husband, unless that person is directly charged with watching my child during that time (and then the punishment - time out, etc - extends only to the time they are watching the child, and within parameters that I approve of).




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:27 PM

Looks like 4 people voted that way. I'm curious too.

Quoting FromAtoZ:

Who voted that it is okay for someone else to punish your child?

I'm curious as to the circumstances where  people feel it is appropriate.

Outside, of course, during the time someone else may have been placed in charge of the child and then, the punishments acceptable should be agreed upon by the parents and not expected to extend outside of that time frame, unless the parents make that choice.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:27 PM

This here. And if that was the case, just tell me.

Quoting zoo003:

No, she has no right to punish your child.  The only way I could see her having any kind of say is if your dd did something and she now believes that she is a bad influence for her dd (not saying this is the case and that would be more of keeping her child away from yours and not a disciplinarian action).  Otherwise, no, she is not the parent and therefore, has no right to discipline your child.  




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














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