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Children (under 18) and age difference when dating.

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2014 at 8:16 AM
  • 34 Replies

What age difference would you allow your child when dating? 

This came up in conversation the past weekend and I'm curious to see what the most common answer is.  

In my mind, "child" is a teen but not 18.  

When does the difference in ages diminish? 


by on Jun. 17, 2014 at 8:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
UpSheRises
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this
I was 15 when I started dating DH. He was 18. I lied and told my mom he just turned 17. When mt mom found out she flipped out. I thought she was being lame as usual. Now I understand. If DS was 18 and told me he was dating a 15yo I wouldnt be happy at all.

I think it doesnt even out until both parties are in their 20s.
RandRMomma
by Maya on Jun. 17, 2014 at 9:32 AM
Meh...I would allow my 16 year old to date a 20 year old. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't. My ex and I were together over ten years, and we were four (almost five) years apart with him being older than I was. Of course my dates were "supervised" either by his mother, or my father. But, by the time I was 17, they let us do our own thing. They trusted us.
purpleducky
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 9:52 AM
I think maturity levels are more important. I started dating my wife when I was 16 and she was 21. If my baby sister wanted to do that, I would trust her decision (she is actually 16 right now). If my little sister had wanted to do that at 16, I would have been upset because she was less mature, especially emotionally.
survivorinohio
by René on Jun. 17, 2014 at 10:07 AM

I allowed group outings primarily but there were a few exceptions until my oldest was about 17 at which point there was a curfew but no real structure imposed by me.

My boy had zero interest in dating as a teen, he had like one girlfriend who lived a ways away and they only saw eachother occasionally for functions usually.

My youngest had a steady boyfriend from 13 on and they spent a lot of time here and with his parents but never really dated.

Edit*  Read the op wrong so didnt answer the question.  I think that maturity matters and that age differences are much more problemsome in the teens,  As long as the child is a mature 16 I wouldnt be worried about them dating a young adult but if the kid is immature I would be very worried.  

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


BaronSamedi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 10:35 AM

  Age differences are  silly.  I know so many women wh dated  men 10 years older that it would fill up the room.  It is our ignorant prejudices.  British research has 15 year old females  equal to 20-21 year old male in maturity.  

   The problem is parental revenge laws.

atlmom2
by on Jun. 17, 2014 at 10:41 AM

Mine didn't date until end of junior year or senior year and they dated someone their age or a year older.  18 is an adult to me too.  I wouldn't want a 15 yo dating an 18 year old.  I know the neighbor kid turned 19 October of his senior year.  Would you have really wanted him dating your 15 or 16 yo?  He was a good kid but even so an adult for over a year when he graduated. 

PPCLC
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 10:53 AM

When I was 17 (turning 18 at the time, about a month later), I began dating my husband (then my boyfriend, obviously), who was 26-years old.

Because I turned 18 a month later, my parent's said nothing.

Our youngest daughter is 16 and turning 17 in early November. She's been dating a fellow CA student since late February, who turned 18 in March. We have no problem with her seeing this boy at all, and we adore him and we're good friends with his family.

I think that it all depends on the underage teen and just how old the other person is that they're dating. 

PPCLC
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 10:54 AM

What are "parental revenge laws" and how are they applied to a general situation like this?

Quoting BaronSamedi:

  Age differences are  silly.  I know so many women wh dated  men 10 years older that it would fill up the room.  It is our ignorant prejudices.  British research has 15 year old females  equal to 20-21 year old male in maturity.  

   The problem is parental revenge laws.


NDADanceMom
by on Jun. 17, 2014 at 10:56 AM
Depends on the kids but I don't allow anyone under 16 to date. I think 2 years is a good spread. If a guy is 20 and able to bond with a 16 year old better than his peers at college I would say he has immaturity issues.
No cool 20 year old is picking up chicks at high school football games.
Patti-Gee
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 11:19 AM


  It wasn't an issue when my sons were younger.  My oldest only had one girlfriend, and they're married.  My youngest has been with his girlfriend for 2 years, and he met her in college.  

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