Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Man sends wife a spreadsheet of all the times she denied him sex

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:29 PM
  • 127 Replies

 

Man sends wife a spreadsheet of all the times she denied him sex

 
 

You know the Airing of Grievances during Festivus, where you’re supposed to sit at the front of the table and detail all the times your family members have disappointed you in the last year?

Well, Festivus came a little early this year for redditor throwwwwwaway29, who posted a spreadsheet, purportedly sent to her work email by her husband, detailing all the times she’d denied him sex in the last month or so. 

The spreadsheet (click to expand):


 

Here’s how throwwwwaway29 explains it, in a post on r/relationships:

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his 'document', we've only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 "attempts" on his part.

Although one would imagine a person this petty and childish doesn’t deserve to get laid to begin with, the OP insists her husband isn’t usually like this: “This is a side of him I have never seen before—bitter, immature, full of hatred.” She’s spent the last 24 hours trying to get hold of him, to no avail, and spent last night crying herself to sleep, she said.

Of course, because she posted her story on Reddit, many commenters did the exact opposite of sympathizing with her predicament. Instead, they took the opportunity to tell her what a selfish bitch she was being, and how awful it was that she would not greet her husband every evening with her vulva laid out and fully garnished on a silver platter.

“Gotta be honest, my guess is that OP has given the same excuses or denied sex a lot and then acted like it hasn't been denied often,” one commenter wrote. Another chimed in: “Now you know how it feels to be unloved and left on your own. I hope that is all he is trying to convey and not out banging hookers while you are gone. Have sex with your husband!”

It's a shame so many dudes on the Internet think this is good advice. Women aren't not obligated to “give you sex” whenever you want it, without worrying about you making stupid spreadsheets or “banging hookers” in retaliation. We can give the sad husband credit for his excellent Microsoft Excel skills. (Tom Ley at Deadspin noticed the “yes” marks are all italicized, like the hubby’s high-fiving himself.) They’ll come in handy for his next spreadsheet, where he keeps tabs on how many nights he’s spent alone.

by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Arroree
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:51 PM
2 moms liked this

If my hubs did that he'd be going a LONG time without sex afterwards...


What's up with the gigantic space under the article?

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jul. 19, 2014 at 9:52 PM

What an ass

StarburstKisses
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 10:12 PM
2 moms liked this

We don't know all the details here.

Maybe he has tried and tried to talk to her about his need and she won't give any. Maybe he is desperate for her to understand where he is coming from??? I can say I have been in his shoes and I didn't find much wrong with this, and I can say I've thought about doing it a time or two. I'm just saying that before you jump on bashing him, maybe stop a moment and think that none of us have the full story. In my mind this is what I first thought of and was actually suprised that the first thought here (in the group) as to bash the guy. IMO it shows a bit of her character (Again without knowing the full story) that her husband reached out to her (I do think he could have done it much better though) and she then posted it online.

jessilin0113
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:17 PM
6 moms liked this
What an effing petty, childish, loser, asshole.
Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:24 PM
7 moms liked this

They are both assholes...him for doing that and her for making it public

sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:36 PM
Idk and it won't let me edit

Quoting Arroree:

If my hubs did that he'd be going a LONG time without sex afterwards...

What's up with the gigantic space under the article?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
judykay1944
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 11:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Well I guess she doesn't give a rats ass if she has sex with her husband or not but let me say this..he gives a rats ass and if the platonic relationship continues SHE will be sleeping alone and  he will have himself a younger girlfriend who indeed wants to have sex with him.  If this wife  has no desire for her husband she needs to either find out why or get a divorce because sex is part of marriage. It is not just an act it also is because her husband loves her and desires her?? I am a female and I understand exactly how he feels. No one wants to be rejected 9 out of 10 times.  I don't think she needs to have her vulva on a platter for him she needs to treat him like her husband and level with him if she is not attracted to him or is having medical problems. It is totally unfair for a partner to think that a sexless marriage is OK and what if he was rejecting her like that???She would be boo hooing to her friends. Of course he is going to cheat. He feels unloved and unwanted and many other things. I doubt if he thinks she is just supposed to throw herself on the bed ,,spread eagle for him, he would maybe like to have some good sex with his wife and not be treated like he has the clap. Two sides to every story. I do not feel sorry for her at all. She brought this on herself. Her tears are just a little too late and he has had enough of the cold fish BS.

gdiamante
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:42 AM
5 moms liked this

Maybe if he asked less he'd get more positive responses. Asking an average of every other day makes him sound like a petulant CHILD who isn't adult enough for sex.

Sex is a WANT, not a NEED. He won't DIE if he leaves it to every few days. 

gdiamante
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:47 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting StarburstKisses:

We don't know all the details here.

Maybe he has tried and tried to talk to her about his need and she won't give any. Maybe he is desperate for her to understand where he is coming from??? I can say I have been in his shoes and I didn't find much wrong with this, and I can say I've thought about doing it a time or two. I'm just saying that before you jump on bashing him, maybe stop a moment and think that none of us have the full story. In my mind this is what I first thought of and was actually suprised that the first thought here (in the group) as to bash the guy. IMO it shows a bit of her character (Again without knowing the full story) that her husband reached out to her (I do think he could have done it much better though) and she then posted it online.

It's possible he's tried to talk to her. But if it was that important, rather than a sarcastic diatribe, he should have PACKED HIS BAGS and LEFT. That would have driven the point home without exposing the both of them to what will likely end in their divorce anyway.

Sex is not a be-all and end-all. Took me many years to figure that one out; it took my husband's very serious motorcycle accident a decade ago to realize it. I won't ever have sex with him again. He CAN'T. There's no permutation that doesn't cause him serious pain. But I'd rather be sexless the rest of my life than be without him. 

IWantOneMorePlz
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:56 AM
2 moms liked this

This shows how childish the husband is acting.  If he sends an e-mail like this, who knows what he is like at home.  I don't know about all of you, but it would be hard to get excited about having sex with a man who was acting childish.  Or, even worse, having "I really don't want it" sex, but it'll shut him up for a while.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN