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And yet another WWYD. lol

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:20 PM
  • 13 Replies

Lets say your kiddo, a teenager, is friends with someone of the opposite sex,  you have only met this other kiddo twice, no more than a hello. You know of the someone from your kiddo. All things positive but you feel your kiddo and the friend may be a bit too close for their age.  You have no proof and again, you do not know the other kiddo.

So, would you go to the parents of the other kiddo with your concerns?  Make an effort to get to know the other kiddo and the parents?

Or would you base this off of what little you know and the fact you simply do not like your child being so close to the other person based on your child telling you how much they like the other person?

by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
VooDooB
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:25 PM

I would definitely make it a point to get to know the other teen. As for meeting the parents, yes to that too, but it can be tricky. Teens get bitchy over that.

Maybe a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone is invite your teen and the friend on a day trip, say to a Six Flags or someplace a teen just can't say no to. That way, because you will have teen friend in your care, you can have a good reason to meet the parents a few days before the trip. Then get to know the teen on the road and wherever you are taking them.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:28 PM


Quoting VooDooB:

I would definitely make it a point to get to know the other teen. As for meeting the parents, yes to that too, but it can be tricky. Teens get bitchy over that.

Maybe a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone is invite your teen and the friend on a day trip, say to a Six Flags or someplace a teen just can't say no to. That way, because you will have teen friend in your care, you can have a good reason to meet the parents a few days before the trip. Then get to know the teen on the road and wherever you are taking them.

Now that makes sense.

But you see, because the 'relationship' is not condoned, in any way at all, spending time with the other teen will not happen.  Doing so would condone such a relationship.

Instead, it is best to make assumptions, insinuations about your child and the other teen without really knowing any one involved.  All the while, insinuating that your own child's integrity lacks and said child cannot be trusted.

Of course, this boils down to the parent's lack of parenting correctly, yes?

VooDooB
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:30 PM

Hmmm. Well that's a lot of over-thinking me thinks!


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Quoting VooDooB:

I would definitely make it a point to get to know the other teen. As for meeting the parents, yes to that too, but it can be tricky. Teens get bitchy over that.

Maybe a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone is invite your teen and the friend on a day trip, say to a Six Flags or someplace a teen just can't say no to. That way, because you will have teen friend in your care, you can have a good reason to meet the parents a few days before the trip. Then get to know the teen on the road and wherever you are taking them.

Now that makes sense.

But you see, because the 'relationship' is not condoned, in any way at all, spending time with the other teen will not happen.  Doing so would condone such a relationship.

Instead, it is best to make assumptions, insinuations about your child and the other teen without really knowing any one involved.  All the while, insinuating that your own child's integrity lacks and said child cannot be trusted.

Of course, this boils down to the parent's lack of parenting correctly, yes?


You make people leave CM. You drive them away. There is a meaness and coldness in you that pushes people away and makes them cancel their CM accounts. I know a few of them.

- Iga

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:35 PM


Quoting VooDooB:

Hmmm. Well that's a lot of over-thinking me thinks!


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Quoting VooDooB:

I would definitely make it a point to get to know the other teen. As for meeting the parents, yes to that too, but it can be tricky. Teens get bitchy over that.

Maybe a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone is invite your teen and the friend on a day trip, say to a Six Flags or someplace a teen just can't say no to. That way, because you will have teen friend in your care, you can have a good reason to meet the parents a few days before the trip. Then get to know the teen on the road and wherever you are taking them.

Now that makes sense.

But you see, because the 'relationship' is not condoned, in any way at all, spending time with the other teen will not happen.  Doing so would condone such a relationship.

Instead, it is best to make assumptions, insinuations about your child and the other teen without really knowing any one involved.  All the while, insinuating that your own child's integrity lacks and said child cannot be trusted.

Of course, this boils down to the parent's lack of parenting correctly, yes?

I forgot to mention that it is also best  to spy on your child and have someone pretend to be someone they are not in order to acquire photos of your child and the person of the opposite sex.  Because, after all, if your child is saying they love this person and they are best friends and there for each other, they must be engaging in sexual activity, drugs and every thing else your guilty conscience can come up with.

Right?

TommieToo
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:43 PM

can of worms

Surely, this is a joke!

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:46 PM


Quoting TommieToo:

can of worms

Surely, this is a joke!

Not at all.

VooDooB
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:57 PM

This must be a S/O and I'm not familiar with the original.

4evrinbluejeans
by KK on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:08 PM

I would personally limit alone time with members of the opposite sex until they are much older (at least to the point I stop referring to them as "kiddo"), this would include "girlfriends" and girls that are just friends.  I would get to know the individual because the only way they would be hanging out would be if they were at my home.  

I wouldn't be looking to meet the other child's parents until I felt there was a reason to know them.  Meaning I believed this friendship was going beyond friendship.  

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:13 PM


Quoting VooDooB:

This must be a S/O and I'm not familiar with the original.

Nope. Not a spin off.

lol

Let me clear it up.

My daughter, who is 14, has a friend who is 14 and he is male.  They have been friends for 3 years.  The past 10 months these two have become close.  You ask them, they are 'dating'.  Their version of 'dating' consists of what myself and his parents allow.  That would mean they have never been alone together, they have never gone on a date.  He will hang out here, with other friends as well most times, or he comes over to hang out alone and may stay for dinner from time to time, or stay to watch movies. I am always here. He has never been in my home at a time I am not home.  She goes to his house, eats dinner, hangs out, etc.  Always a parent there.  She has never been in home without a parent present.

She does things with his family.  She has already racked up 18 hours of her 40 hours of community service needed to graduate high school.  She has done so by working at the basketball tourneys that her 'boyfriend' and his twin participate in.  

There has never been anything inappropriate between them.  I know this kid.  I know my kid.  I know the parents.  We all hang out sometimes. 

We trust our children.

Now dad, that's another story.  He has met the boy twice since October of last year.  Has never spoken to him outside of saying hello. Knows nothing of the parents.  He knows what I have shared and what his daughter has shared.  It's more than obvious these two like each other.  They have been there for each.  As far as being 'romantic'............nope.  M is more romantic with her best girl friend! lol They are always hugging and cuddling.

But now dad, he is trying to paint a picture of his daughter, having someone pose as a kid from school to gain access to the photos on her instagram.  He has since used several photos she has posted as a way to paint her as being an unruly teenager whose mother allows her to do anything she pleases, no supervision.  She is...and I quote...'involved in a romantic relationship with a young man that includes inappropriate behavior for her age'.  

The photos are benign.  Nothing inappropriate about them at all. I even took two of them.  She has posted he is her 'MCM' (man crush monday) and how he has been there for her, they have helped each other through some difficult times.   She has posted the very same things in regards to her best girl friends.  Heck, she has pix of her best girl friend giving her a kiss on the cheek.

So I was just wondering if someone doesn't know someone else, or the parents, how they come to such a conclusion and wouldn't they take the time and put in the effort to know the people involved?  And how can a parent make such insinuations, accusations, against their child.

Just kind of baffled as to how a parent like this gets to that point of thinking and taking such actions.

Okay, I have a pretty good idea but I am so disgusted I just really want to see if there are others out there that would do this.

VooDooB
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:23 PM

Your Ex sounds like a dickface.

He should trust your judgement, and his daughters.

Quoting FromAtoZ:

Quoting VooDooB:

This must be a S/O and I'm not familiar with the original.

Nope. Not a spin off.

lol

Let me clear it up.

My daughter, who is 14, has a friend who is 14 and he is male.  They have been friends for 3 years.  The past 10 months these two have become close.  You ask them, they are 'dating'.  Their version of 'dating' consists of what myself and his parents allow.  That would mean they have never been alone together, they have never gone on a date.  He will hang out here, with other friends as well most times, or he comes over to hang out alone and may stay for dinner from time to time, or stay to watch movies. I am always here. He has never been in my home at a time I am not home.  She goes to his house, eats dinner, hangs out, etc.  Always a parent there.  She has never been in home without a parent present.

She does things with his family.  She has already racked up 18 hours of her 40 hours of community service needed to graduate high school.  She has done so by working at the basketball tourneys that her 'boyfriend' and his twin participate in.  

There has never been anything inappropriate between them.  I know this kid.  I know my kid.  I know the parents.  We all hang out sometimes. 

We trust our children.

Now dad, that's another story.  He has met the boy twice since October of last year.  Has never spoken to him outside of saying hello. Knows nothing of the parents.  He knows what I have shared and what his daughter has shared.  It's more than obvious these two like each other.  They have been there for each.  As far as being 'romantic'............nope.  M is more romantic with her best girl friend! lol They are always hugging and cuddling.

But now dad, he is trying to paint a picture of his daughter, having someone pose as a kid from school to gain access to the photos on her instagram.  He has since used several photos she has posted as a way to paint her as being an unruly teenager whose mother allows her to do anything she pleases, no supervision.  She is...and I quote...'involved in a romantic relationship with a young man that includes inappropriate behavior for her age'.  

The photos are benign.  Nothing inappropriate about them at all. I even took two of them.  She has posted he is her 'MCM' (man crush monday) and how he has been there for her, they have helped each other through some difficult times.   She has posted the very same things in regards to her best girl friends.  Heck, she has pix of her best girl friend giving her a kiss on the cheek.

So I was just wondering if someone doesn't know someone else, or the parents, how they come to such a conclusion and wouldn't they take the time and put in the effort to know the people involved?  And how can a parent make such insinuations, accusations, against their child.

Just kind of baffled as to how a parent like this gets to that point of thinking and taking such actions.

Okay, I have a pretty good idea but I am so disgusted I just really want to see if there are others out there that would do this.


You make people leave CM. You drive them away. There is a meaness and coldness in you that pushes people away and makes them cancel their CM accounts. I know a few of them.

- Iga

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