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You can't be friends with her...I don't like her mother!

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:27 PM
KK
  • 15 Replies

I was watching this video and it brought up a question I thought I would pose to the group.  It isn't necessarily specific to this woman's situation but for some I guess it certainly could be, as they may have a problem with her choice.  

If you choose not to watch the video a brief summary is this woman is part of the Orthodox Jewish community and she is a dancer.  (think ballet, not pole).  Her choice is not seen as in line with the Orthodox teachings by many in her community and as a result of that her daughter was removed from her class and placed in another because many of the other parents did not want their daughters to be friends with this little girl because they see her mother's choice as wrong.  

This is where my question comes into play.  Would you prohibit/limit your young children from being friends with another child because you don't approve of the choices of the parents?  If you would, what things would be deal breakers for you?  (ie religious difference, political differences, career choices, habits, etc)


by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:44 PM
I wasnt friends with most of the parents, so I wouldnt have known too many things like this. I think if they were drug addicts or alcoholics, my kid wouldnt go over, but they couls be friends.
Elkamelka
by KayGee on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:45 PM

Lovely video.  I never kept my daughter from friends she chose, and when she was young, I always knew the parents.  I can't imagine keeping her from a friend due to their parents' beliefs or actions, but I can see where some think they are protecting their children.  This is a tough one mainly because my belief system is fluid!

Bieg9093
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:59 PM

 I have told my kids that we had other plans when they've been invited for a visit with a kid/family I think had problems.  I've purposely made plans with kids/families I preferred.  And I've told my kids they aren't permitted to go into certain homes, rather they should tell the kids to come here.

But I don't think I've ever forbidden a friendship.

FTR...Besides the dancing, I caught Mina breaking a few other Orthodox rules.  Just sayin'.

angelaicky
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't unless my child was in danger being friends with other child.  When I lived in Utah the parents didn't want there kids playing with my child because we weren't LDS.  I have such mixed feeling about Utah

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 27, 2014 at 7:11 PM


Quoting Bieg9093:

 I have told my kids that we had other plans when they've been invited for a visit with a kid/family I think had problems.  I've purposely made plans with kids/families I preferred.  And I've told my kids they aren't permitted to go into certain homes, rather they should tell the kids to come here.

But I don't think I've ever forbidden a friendship.

FTR...Besides the dancing, I caught Mina breaking a few other Orthodox rules.  Just sayin'.

This.

Easily put, that is.

.veni.vidi.vici
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 7:27 PM

I findother things to entertain my kids when they've been invited to join friends whose parents I don't care for. I don't nix all play with those kids. I usually prefer that the kids pf [arents I don't care for play with my kids in our home or on my watch.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 27, 2014 at 7:49 PM

So I was thinking about this.

There is one mom of a friend of my daughter's I am not too keen on.

I don't tell my daughter she cannot be friends with the girl.  She is not her mother.  I do, however, insist they hang out here versus there.

PerseyG
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:09 PM
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my kids' friends are not my business unless they are put in physical danger or are drug-using ne're-do-wells. I certainly don't manage my kids' friends based on the other parents unless they engage in illegal activities.

This takes copter parenting to a new self-absorbed level that I find absurd. the earth doesn't revolve around you or your kids and kids need to learn tolerance and how to coexist with different people.
MaryanneMac
by Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:33 PM

Illegal activity is the only reason I would ban my kids, well that and drugs...wait drugs are illegal so any thing illegal is a deal breaker. 

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:34 PM


Quoting PerseyG: my kids' friends are not my business unless they are put in physical danger or are drug-using ne're-do-wells. I certainly don't manage my kids' friends based on the other parents unless they engage in illegal activities. This takes copter parenting to a new self-absorbed level that I find absurd. the earth doesn't revolve around you or your kids and kids need to learn tolerance and how to coexist with different people.

This caught my eye.

You have never made it part of the plan, so to speak, to get to know your children's friends?

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