Yes, this is personal.
Long story short. well, kind of.......ex husband tried to take me to court for contempt. Some know how strained the relationship is between him and our 14 year old daughter. It is unhealthy. Plain and simple.
He filed this declaration claiming I brainwashed her. I countered with mine, explaining the situation from the get go, back in April, up until the time I filed the response. Including the 'break' he took because he had that mini mental breakdown because our daughter has rejected him so much over the years.
He filed yet another lengthy response.
The Judge made it clear I am not, have not been, in contempt. The Judge made it clear he sees the relationship between them as unhealthy and he also pointed out to Dad that he needs to stop blaming me, stop blaming his daughter and look in the mirror.
He read back parts of dad's declaration, showing dad how he is responsible for the strain and how he is blaming his daughter instead of taking responsibility himself. He used his own words against him to prove a point. Many times.
The Judge made it clear dad is out to punish me, has major anger issues towards me and he needs to continue with his counselor as it is clear he needs help. He also made it clear dad has put the latest fiance in front of his daughter.
The Judge made it clear that neither of us can physically force our daughter to go any where, at any time, with her father. That until their relationship moves to a healthy place our daughter will be reluctant. He made it clear dad dismisses daughter, her opinion, her feelings, etc.
He said he hoped dad continues to be part of our daughter's therapy. The Judge also said that sometimes a rift so deep never finds it way to a healthy place.
So, from this point on we simply follow the court order but dad should not expect daughter to want to do so. Because I do not actively discourage her visits and have been supportive, even if I don't want to be, and he has brought about all the issues, I will never be in contempt.
Dad yelled at me in court, yelled at the Judge. He was held in contempt.
First, let me say I felt vindicated. That sounds awful but it is how I feel.
So, from here on out................I plan on following the advice/suggestions of her therapist. I've always done that so I will continue to do so. It is clear communication, co-parenting will never happen with my ex husband.
So I am going to stay out of it.
What do you think you would do? How do you think you would proceed? I know that I sometimes over think things because I do not want to cause our daughter more pain, emotional or otherwise.
How does a man get to that point? When she was younger he was a wonderful dad. Truly. She adored the ground he walked on. Ever since we split and divorced, it truly has been hell for our daughter.
She fully expects him to walk away because he was not 'right' and he has no 'control'.
How do we let ourselves get to a place where our children are hurt so deeply?
Any thoughts, bring em' on. I am trying hard not to smile from ear to ear that he was put in his place. To gloat, so to speak. I don't want karma finding me. A part of me is truly sad that after all these years he still doesn't get it.