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If you are a stay at home mom do you let your husband take care of all the bills or do you find a way to contribute?

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 8:56 AM
  • 106 Replies

This was a nice debate at one point and it's interesting to see all the differen views.

If you have children and are home taking care of them do you still feel he need to make some money to contribute to the household or even to juts have for yourself?

If so why do you feel the need to make money when you are already being taken care of?

by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 8:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:17 AM
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No I don't feel the need.  I did when I first resigned.  It was hard for me psychologically at first to not contribute financially.  But 7+ years later and I've gotten over myself.  Money is ONE way to contribute to one's family.  It's an important one, but it's not the ONLY way.  And I contribute greatly.  We're  blessed in that my dh earns a great living and my financial contribution is completely unnecessary.  We're both on board with how we run our household and family, so I don't worry about my lack of financial contribution righ tnow.  In a few years, I will probably return to my career and honestly, you'd think my husband would be excited about the extra income, but he has admitted that (half-jokingly) that it's going to be an adjustment for him to not have available all day to take care of every household  thing, bring him something he may forgotten, be here if we're expecting the cable guy, etc. He's come to realize that having a stay at home parent in the household  doesn't only benefit kids!

by Ruby Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:21 AM
16 moms liked this
I had to make sure I hadn't accidentally wandered in to the newcomers club.

Moms do contribute. Money isn't the only thing that keeps a household together.

I'm not a SAH mom.
by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:28 AM
3 moms liked this

No, because it was a choice we both made together. We were married several years before deciding to have a child. We saved and prepared for a one income household, and made sure we had a home and were comfortable financially and emotionally in our marriage. We are both really happy with how it all fell together.
We also decided, that while he is the sole provider financially, I am the sole provider domestically. So in our opinion, even though I don't bring home money, I pull my weight in ways my husband has no involvement in. Nor does he wish to have any involvement in. 1940's kind of marriage arrangement? Probaby. But it works for us.

I DO miss my job quite often. I'm looking forward to going back once the kiddo is in school full time.

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by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:35 AM
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Being a sahm is how I contribute.
by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:45 AM
Though he makes the money, I'm the one who handles the finances. I hate being a sahm and not contributing financially. I've been staying home so I could go to school. I'll be done in 13 weeks and cannot wait to start working again. Mom's contribute a lot to their families though, even If it isn't in the form of financial gain.
by Silver Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't like the phrase, "being taken care of."  Just because I don't work outside the home, doesn't mean I don't contribute.  My staying home was a mutual decision because it was just as important to DH to have me home with the kids as it was to me.  I also (happily) gave up a career to be home, so if anything I sacrificed earning potential and DH fully recognizes and appreciates that fact.  

by New Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:47 AM

i dont feel like i need to but i would like to. I take care of our children which is why i am a stay at home mom.

by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:50 AM
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I would like to work, because SAHP is hard for me, and often, work brings money... the need isn't only to make money.

My husband currently does pay all the bills, though I've worked here and there when I could, because I love work. Otherwise, my monetary contributions would include my nice 401K and the money from the house I sold when we got married. My other contributions are many, since he'd be in a mental institution if he had to look after the kids! :-)

by Platinum Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I am the one that works out a budget every 2 weeks, we sit down every Thursday and talk about the budget, what needs to be bought after bills,etc.  I do make some money on the side.  For example the money I made this month will buy our son's new shoes he needs and shin guards for soccer.  My money doesn't get included in the budget because it is extra and not needed.  After our second child we made the decision to stay home.  I am also 31 weeks pregnant with our third. I do stay home but I also volunteer at our oldest's school, pto member, run errands, grocery shop, etc.

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by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 9:58 AM
I don't contribute to the household financially, but I do in so many other ways. I make sure our home is clean, DH and DD always have freshly laundered clothes, I make healthy, satisfying meals for my family, etc. I was working up until last August. MIL looked after DD while we worked. She got sick and we didn't have any one else to provide reliable, trustworthy, affordable child care. Soon after I left my job MIL was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. She passed away in November. Now I'm going back to school BC DH and I decided that in order for me going back to work to be worth it I would at least need to bring in $30,000 per year. That amount is highly unlikely in our area without a degree.
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