Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A Question of Character

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:20 AM
  • 36 Replies

So I was thinking....

Most of us have a specific character, a set of ethics and beliefs and conscience.

However, even the best of us sometimes has a slip, something that doesn't seem to be within character.

So my question is.....do you think character is defined by how someone mostly acts, or does one out of character act indicate that the person isn't of the character that they (or we) assume them to be?

by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:20 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
incogNinja
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:24 AM
1 mom liked this
I think it depends on very specifically what it is they did , and a lot of circumstances surrounding the act as well.
dandynorm
by Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this
It really depends. What are the circumstances around the slip up? Is slipping up in this manner a repeated event, or truly a one time thing? And was anyone harmed by the slip up?
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:32 AM
3 moms liked this

Good questions.

I can only speak about my personal experiences with those I know best.

An act that is out of character for a person happens to all of us, at one time or another.  No one can say, in all honesty, they have not done or said something that is truly out of character for them.

One's character, in my opinion, is defined in their overall personality, actions and so on.  Consistency.  A bump in character, a curve in the road happens.  It is how one carries on afterwards that speaks volumes.

I know I often say this or that shows a person's lack of character, here in this group, on many different topics.  In reality, I should define that with at the moment in some cases as it seems many people have hit that curve.

To me, it seems obvious when one truly lacks character in that I could not associate with them.  If one is consistent in dealings that do not coincide with being an overall decent person, their lack of character is evident in who they are and not in that moment.

If that makes any sense.

romalove
by Roma on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Good questions.

I can only speak about my personal experiences with those I know best.

An act that is out of character for a person happens to all of us, at one time or another.  No one can say, in all honesty, they have not done or said something that is truly out of character for them.

One's character, in my opinion, is defined in their overall personality, actions and so on.  Consistency.  A bump in character, a curve in the road happens.  It is how one carries on afterwards that speaks volumes.

I know I often say this or that shows a person's lack of character, here in this group, on many different topics.  In reality, I should define that with at the moment in some cases as it seems many people have hit that curve.

To me, it seems obvious when one truly lacks character in that I could not associate with them.  If one is consistent in dealings that do not coincide with being an overall decent person, their lack of character is evident in who they are and not in that moment.

If that makes any sense.

Yes, that makes sense.  Thanks.

romalove
by Roma on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:38 AM

A one time slip....

What if someone is always faithful but is away on a business trip for two weeks and has a weak moment and sleeps with someone else?  

What if your spouse is gone for a year and you do it?

What if you are always honest but you find a wallet with $5000 and you're about to be thrown out of your apartment and you keep the money, even if you are usually honest and charitable?

There are a lot of scenarios.  The worst might be, you're not violent ever but get in a huge confrontation with someone and bash them over the head with the nearest vase, killing them.

Does that make you always violent?

These are the things that keep me up at night LOL.

furbabymum
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:46 AM

 I think people's character is set, many people just deny/hide parts of it.

romalove
by Roma on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:49 AM


Quoting furbabymum:

 I think people's character is set, many people just deny/hide parts of it.

Interesting response, thank you.

furbabymum
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

 I don't think the personal circumstances matter. I think that's how people justify letting loose their real character, but that was there the entire time. Someone who would take money will take that money and someone who wouldn't, wouldn't, no matter the circumstance. 

Quoting romalove:

A one time slip....

What if someone is always faithful but is away on a business trip for two weeks and has a weak moment and sleeps with someone else?  

What if your spouse is gone for a year and you do it?

What if you are always honest but you find a wallet with $5000 and you're about to be thrown out of your apartment and you keep the money, even if you are usually honest and charitable?

There are a lot of scenarios.  The worst might be, you're not violent ever but get in a huge confrontation with someone and bash them over the head with the nearest vase, killing them.

Does that make you always violent?

These are the things that keep me up at night LOL.

 

"If Jesus was coming, there would be wine." ~DH
dawnie1
by #1 Raider fan on Nov. 4, 2014 at 12:01 PM
3 moms liked this

I think a persons true character shows where the rubber meets the road, if you will. In the examples above, if someone is never going to cheat it won't matter how long their spouse is away. If someone is not going to keep something that just does not belong to them, they will not keep that money.

sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 This is something I have wrestled with. Not sure a blanket answer will suffice.

Growing up, I spent a LOT of time at my neighbors home. They had two sons my age (one was 2 years older, the other same age as me). We played sports together in the street with their Dad as quarterback, he was the pitcher when we played baseball. He took me fishing, to sporting events and he would come home on lunch breaks and take us for rides in the back of his big truck

I knew he drank all night from the time he came home from work until bed time and that his wife was very submissive....but as a child, I thought he was great!

Then one night when I was about 8/9 ish...?? He was flipping the channels to find something to watch...he went passed the Cosby show..and I said Oooh Watch the Cosby's,,that's what we always wathed in my home...and he said "I'm not watching that N***** show"...and kept flipping

I can't tell you how shocking that was to my naive ears. This was someone that I loved and respected and thought of as a 'good person'. My Mom-Mom and mother would have lost their sh*t if I told them....I was very confused by this - what I thought of as something horrible and it came from someone I loved

In the end, I just never looked at him the same again.

Was he still a "good person"?

He provided for his family, spent most of his time with his son's and went to church every Sunday with his wife and kids.

He also gambled and lost a good bitof money and allowed the boys to disrespect their mom

He has since passed away, and I know his one son struggles with substance abuse and the other is a teacher and does a lot of mission work overseas...he married in his 30's and it lasted less than a year.

The wife remarried a couple years after his death.

I am still conflicted in my thoughts of him

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)