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Legalized violence against children

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:02 AM
  • 105 Replies
3 moms liked this
Here's what the American Psychological Association says about spanking:

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

Here's what the American Academy of Pediatrics says:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/247333.php

Another Source:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/12/131211103958.htm

WHY do parents continue the use of this archaic "discipline" method? I do not understand how parents can sit and justify hitting their kids into submission. They rationalize it, justify it, and are completely closed off to understanding the harm it causes their kids.

by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:02 AM
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GLWerth
by Gina on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:33 AM
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A lot of people think it is the only way to parent.

My kids have never done anything so severe as to warrant DH or me using physical violence against them.

My own experience as a child was that something as simple as not finishing the dishes quickly enough or breaking a glass earned one a smack upside the head followed by a leather belt to a bare butt until you couldn't sit comfortably.

The irony came later, when at PT conferences, the teacher said "She fidgets too much, can't sit still" and it would end in another smack and belt at home.

If you turn an adult over your knee it is assault, yet we accept people using physical violence against small children without even a second thought.

Jack_Squat
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:38 AM
2 moms liked this
I had similar experiences. I got detention once because I insisted on standing during class, because I was too bruised to sit. Except, I got hit with a 2x4, carved into a board with a handle.



Quoting GLWerth:

A lot of people think it is the only way to parent.

My kids have never done anything so severe as to warrant DH or me using physical violence against them.

My own experience as a child was that something as simple as not finishing the dishes quickly enough or breaking a glass earned one a smack upside the head followed by a leather belt to a bare butt until you couldn't sit comfortably.

The irony came later, when at PT conferences, the teacher said "She fidgets too much, can't sit still" and it would end in another smack and belt at home.

If you turn an adult over your knee it is assault, yet we accept people using physical violence against small children without even a second thought.

furbabymum
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:40 AM

 My DS smiles, smiles. According to my mom I used to do the same thing. Spanking never had an impact on me and it doesn't on my DS. Daycare thinks we beat him though, because all they have to say is, "Do you want us to tell your father?" and he quits everything. It's so funny because my DH is a pacifist with the kids and I'm the disciplinarian. With DS his father's poor opinion of him is worse than any beating we could inflict upon him.

tiffyhamm
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:41 AM
4 moms liked this

Perhaps it is what they were brought up on?  It's hard to break some stuff that has been passed down to us by our parents, that they learned from their parents, and so on.  So often I hear from my family and friends that they "can't even discipline their kids anymore nowadays" and I'm like, "was that the only way you were disciplining your children?"  There are other ways to do so and I wonder if they even utilize those ways or they resort to hitting their children first and only using that kind of discipline.  

Also, I hear far too often, "I was whooped as a child and I'm fine" or "that's why our kids lack morals and values and running wild because they aren't being spanked."  Neither of those statements make any sense to me, just because you were spanked as a child didn't make it right.  And for most of us, we weren't just "spanked" we were "whooped" with everything from belts to shoes to switches, etc.  That wasn't okay, even though I am physically fine and still love the hell out of my folks, that isn't something that I can see myself doing to my kids.  I don't feel emotionally tramatized as an adult as a result of those whoopings, I just can't bring myself to do it my children.  

I simply don't see how inflicting pain on a young person is effective in gaining compliance.  How long is that supposed to work?  Eventually they will get too old for the spankings...and then what?  You can't whoop your spouse with a shoe or belt for that would be abuse, yet you can do so to your child? 

QueenBarbie
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:41 AM

My little guy let of my dh's hand and ran through the parking lot. He could have been hit and killed my a car that happened to be backing up.  My husband caught up to him  right before our little guy was behind the car.  He picked him up, yelled and  smacked his diaper. He NEVER ran in the parking lot again. 

It the only time either of us have ever smacked our kids diaper, but in that one case it got the message across.  I think my husband didn't even think about it, it was a reaction.  

I can't think of a single other instance we have ever even thought about spanking.

furbabymum
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:46 AM
4 moms liked this

 Neither of you are describing spanking, you're describing abuse.

I grew up with parents who spanked. They had a chart on the fridge with a list of behaviors and how many swats you earned from them. If they were angry they'd make you go wait in your room until they weren't. I was never beat, never hit with anything, never hit by an angry parent. It was always very controlled punishment. I tried it with my child but it wasn't effective as a punishment so I don't do it now. Simple as that.

Quoting Jack_Squat: I had similar experiences. I got detention once because I insisted on standing during class, because I was too bruised to sit. Except, I got hit with a 2x4, carved into a board with a handle.
Quoting GLWerth:

A lot of people think it is the only way to parent.

My kids have never done anything so severe as to warrant DH or me using physical violence against them.

My own experience as a child was that something as simple as not finishing the dishes quickly enough or breaking a glass earned one a smack upside the head followed by a leather belt to a bare butt until you couldn't sit comfortably.

The irony came later, when at PT conferences, the teacher said "She fidgets too much, can't sit still" and it would end in another smack and belt at home.

If you turn an adult over your knee it is assault, yet we accept people using physical violence against small children without even a second thought.

 

"If Jesus was coming, there would be wine." ~DH
Jack_Squat
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this
I haven't either. I don't understand it, and I never will.

Quoting QueenBarbie:

My little guy let of my dh's hand and ran through the parking lot. He could have been hit and killed my a car that happened to be backing up.  My husband caught up to him  right before our little guy was behind the car.  He picked him up, yelled and  smacked his diaper. He NEVER ran in the parking lot again. 

It the only time either of us have ever smacked our kids diaper, but in that one case it got the message across.  I think my husband didn't even think about it, it was a reaction.  

I can't think of a single other instance we have ever even thought about spanking.

Jack_Squat
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:49 AM
3 moms liked this
Striking a kid at all is wrong, no matter how much or how little force is used. The point of a spanking is to inflict physical pain on a child. No matter how 'controlled' it is, it still causes psychological and developmental damage and PAIN.

Quoting furbabymum:

 Neither of you are describing spanking, you're describing abuse.


I grew up with parents who spanked. They had a chart on the fridge with a list of behaviors and how many swats you earned from them. If they were angry they'd make you go wait in your room until they weren't. I was never beat, never hit with anything, never hit by an angry parent. It was always very controlled punishment. I tried it with my child but it wasn't effective as a punishment so I don't do it now. Simple as that.


Quoting Jack_Squat: I had similar experiences. I got detention once because I insisted on standing during class, because I was too bruised to sit. Except, I got hit with a 2x4, carved into a board with a handle.
Quoting GLWerth:

A lot of people think it is the only way to parent.


My kids have never done anything so severe as to warrant DH or me using physical violence against them.


My own experience as a child was that something as simple as not finishing the dishes quickly enough or breaking a glass earned one a smack upside the head followed by a leather belt to a bare butt until you couldn't sit comfortably.


The irony came later, when at PT conferences, the teacher said "She fidgets too much, can't sit still" and it would end in another smack and belt at home.


If you turn an adult over your knee it is assault, yet we accept people using physical violence against small children without even a second thought.


 

furbabymum
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:51 AM
4 moms liked this

 I disagree.

Quoting Jack_Squat: Striking a kid at all is wrong, no matter how much or how little force is used. The point of a spanking is to inflict physical pain on a child. No matter how 'controlled' it is, it still causes psychological and developmental damage and PAIN.
Quoting furbabymum:

 Neither of you are describing spanking, you're describing abuse.

I grew up with parents who spanked. They had a chart on the fridge with a list of behaviors and how many swats you earned from them. If they were angry they'd make you go wait in your room until they weren't. I was never beat, never hit with anything, never hit by an angry parent. It was always very controlled punishment. I tried it with my child but it wasn't effective as a punishment so I don't do it now. Simple as that.

Quoting Jack_Squat: I had similar experiences. I got detention once because I insisted on standing during class, because I was too bruised to sit. Except, I got hit with a 2x4, carved into a board with a handle.
Quoting GLWerth:

A lot of people think it is the only way to parent.

My kids have never done anything so severe as to warrant DH or me using physical violence against them.

My own experience as a child was that something as simple as not finishing the dishes quickly enough or breaking a glass earned one a smack upside the head followed by a leather belt to a bare butt until you couldn't sit comfortably.

The irony came later, when at PT conferences, the teacher said "She fidgets too much, can't sit still" and it would end in another smack and belt at home.

If you turn an adult over your knee it is assault, yet we accept people using physical violence against small children without even a second thought.

 

 

"If Jesus was coming, there would be wine." ~DH
GLWerth
by Gina on Nov. 24, 2014 at 11:51 AM

I have a scar on the back of my leg from the time he lost track of his belt buckle. I have another between my eyes on my nose from my mother hitting my glasses with a metal spoon. The glasses broke and one half poked into me.

I got the belt that night for breaking my glasses too. 

My uncle's family had the 2x4. My father seemed to really like the sound the belt made when it struck. He liked snapping it as he moved toward us too, to amp up the fear. 

Ah, the memories of childhood, right?

Quoting Jack_Squat: I had similar experiences. I got detention once because I insisted on standing during class, because I was too bruised to sit. Except, I got hit with a 2x4, carved into a board with a handle.
Quoting GLWerth:

A lot of people think it is the only way to parent.

My kids have never done anything so severe as to warrant DH or me using physical violence against them.

My own experience as a child was that something as simple as not finishing the dishes quickly enough or breaking a glass earned one a smack upside the head followed by a leather belt to a bare butt until you couldn't sit comfortably.

The irony came later, when at PT conferences, the teacher said "She fidgets too much, can't sit still" and it would end in another smack and belt at home.

If you turn an adult over your knee it is assault, yet we accept people using physical violence against small children without even a second thought.


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