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Would you stay with a family that is more casual about gun safety? How would you discuss it?

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:14 AM
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I have a good friend that I've known for 20+ years.  In that time we've grown and gotten married and had several children.  

We've started meeting up and having our families spend time together and we both love it.  

While we certainly have differences, (they lean conservative, I lean more liberal, they tend to spank, we don't really) we have a great time together.  

The last time we all got together, we (my husband and I) realized they carried everywhere.  While this wasn't a big deal for us (we don't own guns), it was something of which we were aware.  

Then we went to their hotel room one day and when we walked in, they had a holstered gun on the dresser, well within reach of their young children.  Though I did not ask, I would assume that the safety was on -- but I was highly uncomfortable with the fact that the gun was easily within reach of young children.  

Now we are discussing renting a house and staying somewhere together.  The fact that (in my view) they were a little slack in gun safety is a red flag for me.  Obviously, we could easily get homes close to each other instead -- 

Am I that clueless on gun safety?  Since adults were always present (in the previous situation) was it not a danger? Since the weapon was holstered with the safety presumably on, was there no danger?  In my mind, a weapon should always be out of a child's reach, no matter the time frame.  

I was telling my husband that perhaps if we said something like, "We know your kids are used to being around guns, but ours aren't...so do you think you could make sure to always keep them locked up or on your person if we stay together?"  

I knew there would be a huge cross section of responses here, so I thought it would be worth a post.  

by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
punkinsmom0106
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:18 AM
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"Casual" and "gun safety" don't go together in my world. All DH's guns are in a locked safe, in a small storage unit, where they will stay until there are no longer children in our home.
4evrinbluejeans
by KK on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:28 AM
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No I would not stay with people who were "casual" (in my opinion what you described is irresponsible and lazy) about gun safety and my children would never go to their home.
Masterchefmom
by Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:32 AM
No I wouldn't. Leaving a gun laying around like that would actually be illegal and I wouldn't be around that. Gun laws are strict here
MissAndree
by Ronita on Jan. 13, 2017 at 9:37 AM
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I am a gun owner and come from a family of gun owners. I have been raised around them, we all learned to handle and shoot a gun at young ages. 

There is no way in hell that I would ever be okay with leaving a gun just laying around, even with me in the room, even with the safety on. 

People that are that careless are why everybody shouldn't have guns. It is infuriating.

anxiousschk
by anxiouss on Jan. 13, 2017 at 2:56 PM
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Your perspective is refreshing.  

As I was not raised around any weapons, it's something I'm really unfamiliar with.  What you describe is how I feel -- but I honestly wasn't sure if there was something I wasn't getting or understanding.  

Our former neighbors were gun owners and avid hunters and taught their kids gun safety and how to shoot at a young age, but man -- I didn't question my kid going over there at all because I knew how strict they were about gun safety.  

When I walked into that hotel room and realized there was a gun on the dresser -- with two toddlers -- my head exploded a little.  

Damn. This is going to be really awkward.  

Follow up queston.  What do people with concealed carry permits and kids do?  

Quoting MissAndree:

I am a gun owner and come from a family of gun owners. I have been raised around them, we all learned to handle and shoot a gun at young ages. 

There is no way in hell that I would ever be okay with leaving a gun just laying around, even with me in the room, even with the safety on. 

People that are that careless are why everybody shouldn't have guns. It is infuriating.


Mommy2_two
by Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I think if you told them what you mentioned about your children not being around guns and wanting them to keep them put up if you stay in a house together would be a good idea. We own guns and our children have been around them from day 1 and have a very healthy respect for guns, so I do not worry if my husband has his on the counter. If they are reasonable people they shouldn't have problem with your request.

nononenever
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:34 PM
2 moms liked this
That would be a complete culture shock for me. I'd probably be quite blunt about it - say that I'd love to vacation together but I'm not comfortable sharing a house with them and having guns around my family, so let's rent two places.
billsfan1104
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I Think you need to ask first before assuming stuff.
WaterorWine
by Χριστιανός on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:47 PM
1 mom liked this
I support gun rights but am uncomfortable with guns in *my* home. My husband wants one for protection and I don't as of now. If I eventually agree to it then I will have strict rules including a safe.

I would not stay with someone who leaves a gun out on a table. I dont even care if it's supposedly unloaded. Too many mistakes have happened that resulted in dead kids.

I think your approach is good. That way they don't think you're judging them. It's not unreasonable to discuss it when you're sharing a place with them. If they're the easily offended types then I'd probably just get my own place.
MissAndree
by Ronita on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:25 PM
4 moms liked this

I cannot speak for all of them, but my bil has concealed carried for several years, and my nephew is 11. When my bil is not carrying his gun, it goes right in to a small biometric case. No one can open it but him.

He has been teaching my nephew gun safety for years, but he understands that children, no matter how much you teach them, are still impulsive and not always capable of fully understanding the consequences of their actions.

He would never leave his gun laying around. I don't believe my nephew would touch a gun without permission, I really don't. He is a good kid, he is obedient, he is honest. All around well behaved. 

But none of that matters when it comes to a gun. I am sure most parents whose kids have accidentally shot themselves or someone else believed the same things about their kids. Even the best kid can have a lapse in judgement and act on an impulse. It is not worth taking a chance when it is so easy to just secure the dang gun. 

Quoting anxiousschk:

Your perspective is refreshing.  

As I was not raised around any weapons, it's something I'm really unfamiliar with.  What you describe is how I feel -- but I honestly wasn't sure if there was something I wasn't getting or understanding.  

Our former neighbors were gun owners and avid hunters and taught their kids gun safety and how to shoot at a young age, but man -- I didn't question my kid going over there at all because I knew how strict they were about gun safety.  

When I walked into that hotel room and realized there was a gun on the dresser -- with two toddlers -- my head exploded a little.  

Damn. This is going to be really awkward.  

Follow up queston.  What do people with concealed carry permits and kids do?  

Quoting MissAndree:

I am a gun owner and come from a family of gun owners. I have been raised around them, we all learned to handle and shoot a gun at young ages. 

There is no way in hell that I would ever be okay with leaving a gun just laying around, even with me in the room, even with the safety on. 

People that are that careless are why everybody shouldn't have guns. It is infuriating.



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