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When the s*** hits the fan, do you remain calm or do you panic?

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2017 at 1:49 PM
  • 67 Replies

I readily admit, when it comes to the little things in life...I worry.  Entirely too much.  I stress over way too much and get myself worked into a tizzy, when it's just not necessary.  (Example:  Leaving my 16 month old in the church nursery for the first time Sunday, for just an hour -- even when we were given a pager --)

But the big stuff? When big stuff goes down?  The opposite happens.  I'm the girl you want in a crisis.  Everything slows down and I remain totally calm and get shit done and don't stress at all.  There have been car accidents I've both been present at as well as in, where I've been the only voice of reason in a group of hysterical people -- 

This is true when my kids (or even myself) get seriously injured as well, or even other children.  As people ramp up, I ramp down, so to speak.  

I'm curious to know how others react and what you think has made you that way.  I honestly can't think of an event that's made me this way, I've just always been this way -- I once fell and horribly injured myself at the age of 10 and couldn't walk.  I was bleeding rather profusely and the friend with me didn't know what to do, so I had to tell her (through the blood running down my face) to go get an adult -- then I had to tell the adult to call her mother, and so on and so on.....

I can really suck with the small, everyday stressors, but the big ones, I am great at.  I don't know what the difference is -- any insight?  

(What prompted this was that a friend was telling me about how she went into a crazy panic over a text she got recently saying, "I'm okay, I love you" from a loved one.  The campus was on lockdown due to an active shooter.  That was a mistake, there was no shooter -- but until the campus notified everyone of the mistake, my friend was in a complete panic -- even though she could talk with and text the loved one and be assured of their well being.  For me, that's not a panic situation - that's a talk through it and let's plan situation.  It got me wondering as to why people respond differently.  I also see it whenever a school goes on lockdown and parents race up to the school to try and pull their kids out in a panic.)  

by on Feb. 21, 2017 at 1:49 PM
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by Member on Feb. 21, 2017 at 1:53 PM
I stay calm on the outside, but I'm screaming loudly in my head. I just had some abnormal lab work come back and I'm being referred to a specialist for further testing. Inside, I'm dying. Even now, I'm shaking and nauseous, but to everyone else- I look normal and like I'm just going about my day. I'm the queen of poker face.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2017 at 1:57 PM

I worry a lot, I have an anxiety disorder. In some situations I can be fvery calm though. When my daughter fell and cut her head at the park, I immediatly applied pressure and got the other two to grab the stroller and go get my husband, which I did end up carring her the two blocks home before we went to the hospital. We ran in to a neighbor on the way home and he asked what happened and I said she had fallen. He was shocked the next day when I told him she had needed 7 stitches because I had been so calm.

by KK on Feb. 21, 2017 at 2:01 PM

I don't think your friend was wrong to feel panic.  The individual is not within the control of the parent and that is what is ultimately leading to their anxious feelings.  You yourself admitted to feeling such feelings over leaving your child in the church nursery.  You may know the person is okay but you feel more in control when you have your child with you.  

Over the years I've had a lot of irrational fears that stem from this inability to have my children with me.  They have led me to feel anxious and panicked over a camping trip with their father, to not allowing sleepovers at my parent's house until they were much older.  Those fears are rooted in something that happened with my older two boys and those fears have been hard to shake.  

I am good in high-stress situations.  My control issues help me stay focused on what needs to be done to get us through them.  Then after they are over the emotional breakdown happens.  

by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2017 at 2:19 PM
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I have super anxiety with my day-to-day stuff. It really sucks. However, when bad things happen I am strangely calm. 

by Member on Feb. 21, 2017 at 2:37 PM
It really depends. If Dh is around, I freaked out. If I am the only adult, I will step up and be great. My Dh and dad were talking about this the other day.
by René on Feb. 21, 2017 at 3:02 PM
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I have some stressors I have recently found I have a physical reaction to and I can momentarily think and worry about worst case scenario that are really worst case. For medical emergencies I am solid.  For most things I am actually.   The whole ptsd comes in about my kids mostly and grandkids. I have been through a lot in the last yr. It has shaken me but I  survive:)

*EDIT  my phone does its own thing sorry.

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver

by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2017 at 3:38 PM

I'm actually pretty calm in stresful situations unless they involve my car, when I FREAK OUT. 

Our house was struck by lightening and burned down.  I was actually pretty calm as I watched it happen.  Of course, later it's different.  Same will illnesses - I am calm in the crisis. 

by Bruja on Feb. 21, 2017 at 3:47 PM
In front of my kids im calm for them
by Lois Lane on Feb. 21, 2017 at 3:51 PM
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I am the same way. I may fret the little things, but when big shit goes down, I'm always the voice of reason. I work best under pressure. 

by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2017 at 3:52 PM
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I am spooky calm during big crises, not so much for small things. Idk why.
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