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I grew up in Virginia, waving a Confederate flag.

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:16 PM
  • 136 Replies
24 moms liked this

Today's rally and violence in Virginia really hit close to home.  I was raised in rural Virginia, not far from Charlottesville.  Most of my family were racists; I am white.  With the exception of my dad, the *n* word was a household word.  We flew a Confederate flag from a tree outside my house, I was raised to be proud of my southern heritage, and taught that Robert E. Lee was a hero.  The war wasn't about slavery, but state's rights, and the South was right to want to keep small government.  My mother told me that black children were not as smart as me because I was white, and would not let us stay the night at black kids' houses, more or less date them.  I questioned some of these things about the time I got to high school, but was still happy to sport my "Heritage not Hate" t-shirts and rebel flag belt buckles.  In high school, we were the "redneck clique".  I am only 30, so my high school days were roughly 2000-2004.  This is not some forgotten era, and to this day, my mom believes that the "n*gger always comes out" in black people.  While watching football, she will scream "run n*gger, run!" at the TV. These are not exaggerations, this is what it was like growing up in rural Virginia, for me.  

Today, I am not like this.  I left at 18, joined the military.  It took years and intentional introspection to realize what I had been taught, to internalize it, and erase it.  I have only recently accepted the idea of "white privilege", so that is an idea of how long this process hast taken.  I won't say that I am completely without bias, but I recognize them now and do my best to dispel them.  My parents haven't changed; my mom is still racist and hateful.  My bestfriend who I met in the Army is from Uganda, and she claims she loves her, yet made the mistake of saying something racist about her recently and I blew my top.  So, I correct it when I can, and call them out on it when I can.  But I am really the only one in my family who has changed my point of view.  No one in my family shared anything on social media about the violence in Charlottesville until the police officers died in the helicopter crash.  None have condemned it, and one even challenged me when I shared something about anti-fascism.  The saddest part of all of this is, most of my family, and people that I know like them, do not believe they are racist.  They buy the "heritage not hate" adage, and refuse to accept that the war was indeed fought over slavery.  This is what we are up against, those of us who refuse to accept this way of thinking permeating the halls of government in this country.  Beware all, it's alive and well, even in 2017.  

Stay safe.

by on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LGAll65215
by on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:19 PM
8 moms liked this
This is an awesome post -- a sensitive and intelligent and honest post.
I respect you a lot .
Thank you !
Vetboymom2
by Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:23 PM
5 moms liked this

Thank you.  It's really hard to see people waving that flag and know that half my family would jump right in and join them.  The right do not believe they are fascists, they do not believe they are racists, and they truly believe that whites are losing rights in this country.  It is a level of delusion I can't comprehend anymore.  

Quoting LGAll65215: This is an awesome post -- a sensitive and intelligent and honest post. I respect you a lot . Thank you !


jpickens
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this
I was raised in the south as well and people really don't realize this is far from a forgotten era for us. Very well said. All we can do is keep telling the truth and pushing for change.

Biggest hugs to you and thank you for sharing.
pdxmum
by Gold Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:34 PM
2 moms liked this

I see you are a new member - I really, really, really want to believe you are for real.

Vetboymom2
by Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:37 PM

::touches self:: yep.  real lol

Quoting pdxmum:

I see you are a new member - I really, really, really want to believe you are for real.


EireLass
by Ruby Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:46 PM

Buckle up.

coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this
When my cousin moved from MD to GA, she said it was like reliving the Civil War everyday. She was looked at funny for being a northerner.

Thanks for sharing.
Vetboymom2
by Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:47 PM
2 moms liked this

I can take it, I'm a big girl lol

Quoting EireLass:

Buckle up.


PamR
by Ruby Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:51 PM
2 moms liked this
I think that it's important for people to recognize that not everyone in the south is still fighting the civil war. We don't all hold the views of these bigots. I would say that most southerners, democrat or republican, are not sympathetic to the white supremacists.
Vetboymom2
by Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:51 PM
2 moms liked this

I will say, I now live in Mississippi, and it is much worse here than it was in Virginia.  

Quoting coolmommy2x: When my cousin moved from MD to GA, she said it was like reliving the Civil War everyday. She was looked at funny for being a northerner. Thanks for sharing.


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