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With so much focus on bullies, do any of us stop and wonder what may be going on in someone's life when people derail threads to pile on someone here? Online bullying is a problem for kids, but it can also be seen daily on here.
Maybe that person you're calling names and telling they need mental help, etc...as an insult, truly does.

Maybe she truly is the one contemplating suicide or who knows what.

Maybe we don't know that she is beaten down and scared, in an abusive relationship.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Much of the behavior we see here really is no different than the bullying we are so concerned about our children enduring.
by on Jan. 27, 2018 at 7:46 AM
Replies (11-20):
Bookwormy
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:41 AM
10 moms liked this
I think that LnL is exactly right.

I do believe that often times the person harassing/bullying/stalking does have issues, but i also think that as an adult they need to seek out help for these issues. You can't use your past, mental illness, personality disorder, current abuse, etc to treat people like shit chronically online or irl. I also don't think that one can use this stuff as an excuse for perpetual caustic or toxic behavior in an online community, even if it isn't bullying.

I also think for someone being harassed/bullied/cyberstalked, as an adult, setting firm healthy boundaries is vital.


Quoting Luvnlogic: No one here can really know what’s going on in someone’s life unless they share it. Many times, the same is true in real life. Like you mentioned in the suicide thread, there are also people who lie about their mental state for attention...or to make others feel bad after an interaction doesn’t go the way they wanted...or to feel connected to a specific group or topic. So the goal should be empathy, yes. But it’s also reasonable to assume someone posting here with an abrasive, confrontational persona will end up getting responded to in kind. As we saw in that thread, once a vulnerability is revealed about the topic, most people will back off and soften their approach. IMO, bullying is a pattern of behavior from one person to another after being asked to stop and told its hurtful.
numbr1wmn
by Lina on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:45 AM
5 moms liked this

Winner winner with proving the point

Quoting Spam72: Aren’t you a trump supporter? Maybe you could ask him to set the example. Oh, wait. He’s just being honest, he’s tough. He doesn’t play games with pretty words? You should apply your excuses for trump to the people you think are bullies.


Debmomto2teens
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:46 AM
5 moms liked this
So, the first few replies are a good example of bullying. Practice what you are so concerned about. You are already assuming and starting the thread in a hostile manner but want sincere replies?

Doubt it.
Debmomto2teens
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:47 AM
2 moms liked this
I had a reply when I first read it and will not respond now. It is obvious the intent was just to stir shit.

Quoting M4LG5: Very passive-aggressive of both of you. There is a post about a negative behavior and yet your responses are negative. Nice going!

Quoting billsfan1104: Either that or it will turn into a shit-show with people blaming others for bullying.

Quoting Carpy: I really don't expect many replies to this.

Quoting billsfan1104: I was going to post this in the suicide thread. Well something like this.
No one really knows what is going on in someone’s life.
numbr1wmn
by Lina on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:49 AM
7 moms liked this

Sad how one can’t disagree without an insult

M4LG5
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:50 AM
4 moms liked this
Yup....they are hypocrites and doing the exact same thing they are accusing of others. The point of the message is now moot

Quoting Debmomto2teens: I had a reply when I first read it and will not respond now. It is obvious the intent was just to stir shit.

Quoting M4LG5: Very passive-aggressive of both of you. There is a post about a negative behavior and yet your responses are negative. Nice going!

Quoting billsfan1104: Either that or it will turn into a shit-show with people blaming others for bullying.

Quoting Carpy: I really don't expect many replies to this.

Quoting billsfan1104: I was going to post this in the suicide thread. Well something like this.
No one really knows what is going on in someone’s life.
Debmomto2teens
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:51 AM
3 moms liked this
Agreed. And it is a shame since I thought it was a good topic in light of a discussion in another thread.

Quoting M4LG5: Yup....they are hypocrites and doing the exact same thing they are accusing of others. The point of the message is now moot

Quoting Debmomto2teens: I had a reply when I first read it and will not respond now. It is obvious the intent was just to stir shit.

Quoting M4LG5: Very passive-aggressive of both of you. There is a post about a negative behavior and yet your responses are negative. Nice going!

Quoting billsfan1104: Either that or it will turn into a shit-show with people blaming others for bullying.

Quoting Carpy: I really don't expect many replies to this.

Quoting billsfan1104: I was going to post this in the suicide thread. Well something like this.
No one really knows what is going on in someone’s life.
Carpy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:55 AM
8 moms liked this
I was just being honest. Nothing passive aggressive at all. But thanks.

Quoting M4LG5: Very passive-aggressive of both of you. There is a post about a negative behavior and yet your responses are negative. Nice going!

Quoting billsfan1104: Either that or it will turn into a shit-show with people blaming others for bullying.

Quoting Carpy: I really don't expect many replies to this.

Quoting billsfan1104: I was going to post this in the suicide thread. Well something like this.
No one really knows what is going on in someone’s life.
Luvnlogic
by Platinum Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:56 AM
5 moms liked this
Thank you.

I have a close fam member who threatened suicide and fake attempted it for attention. It’s narcissistic, toxic behavior. It took me a long time to get over the idea that they would manipulate their loved ones that way. I struggled with getting the image of their attempt out of my mind. I did treat them more kindly for a time afterwards, “just in case”. Then I would feel angry and hurt all over again because I was still being manipulated. It’s awful, destructive behavior.

If I have assumed correctly which thread this topic was spun off of, I do find it a bit ironic. That thread started with the type “bullying” behavior being called out here from the outset: judging a stranger without knowing their entire situation. And this “bullying” took place even though all know the person was, in fact, suicidal. Calling out that judgement of her wasn’t bullying behavior, imo. But I guess that’s why there’s that lovely saying about “opinions are like assholes”. 😂


Quoting Bookwormy: I think that LnL is exactly right.

I do believe that often times the person harassing/bullying/stalking does have issues, but i also think that as an adult they need to seek out help for these issues. You can't use your past, mental illness, personality disorder, current abuse, etc to treat people like shit chronically online or irl. I also don't think that one can use this stuff as an excuse for perpetual caustic or toxic behavior in an online community, even if it isn't bullying.

I also think for someone being harassed/bullied/cyberstalked, as an adult, setting firm healthy boundaries is vital.


Quoting Luvnlogic: No one here can really know what’s going on in someone’s life unless they share it. Many times, the same is true in real life. Like you mentioned in the suicide thread, there are also people who lie about their mental state for attention...or to make others feel bad after an interaction doesn’t go the way they wanted...or to feel connected to a specific group or topic. So the goal should be empathy, yes. But it’s also reasonable to assume someone posting here with an abrasive, confrontational persona will end up getting responded to in kind. As we saw in that thread, once a vulnerability is revealed about the topic, most people will back off and soften their approach. IMO, bullying is a pattern of behavior from one person to another after being asked to stop and told its hurtful.
Carpy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 27, 2018 at 8:56 AM
3 moms liked this
In this group.

Quoting SlightlyPerfect: Do you mean just in _this_ group or in confessions? Or across the site?

Quoting Carpy: I really don't expect many replies to this.

Quoting billsfan1104: I was going to post this in the suicide thread. Well something like this.
No one really knows what is going on in someone’s life.
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