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Should this mom be forced into active duty? Should single parents be deployed?

Mom: Deployment leaves no one to care for kids

 

DAVIDSON, N.C. – When Lisa Pagan reports for duty Sunday, four long years after she was honorably discharged from the Army, she'll arrive with more than her old uniform. She's bringing her kids, too.

"I have to bring them with me," she said. "I don't have a choice."

Pagan is among thousands of former service members who have left active duty since the Sept. 11 attacks, only to later receive orders to return to service. They're not in training, they're not getting a Defense Department salary, but as long as they have time left on their original enlistment contracts, they're on "individual ready reserve" status β€” eligible to be recalled at any time.

Soldiers can appeal, and some have won permission to remain in civilian life. Pagan filed several appeals, arguing that because her husband travels for business, no one else can take care of her kids. All were rejected, leaving Pagan with what she says is a choice between deploying to Iraq and abandoning her family, or refusing her orders and potentially facing charges.

Then she hit on the idea of showing up Sunday at Fort Benning, Ga., with her children in tow.

"I guess they'll have to contact the highest person at the base, and they'll have to decide from there what to do," Pagan said. "I either report and bring the children with me or don't report and face dishonorable discharge and possibly being arrested. I guess I'll just have to make my case while I'm there."

Master Sgt. Keith O'Donnell, an Army spokesman in St. Louis, said the commander at Fort Benning will decide how to handle the situation.

"The Army tries to look at the whole picture and they definitely don't want to do anything that jeopardizes the family or jeopardizes the children," O'Donnell said. "At the same time, these are individuals who made obligations and commitments to the country."

Of the 25,000 individual ready reserve troops recalled since September 2001, more than 7,500 have been granted deferments or exemptions, O'Donnell said. About 1,000 have failed to report. O'Donnell most of those cases are still under investigation, while 360 soldiers have been separated from the Army either through "other than honorable" discharges or general discharges.

He said Pagan isn't likely to face charges, since none of the individual ready reserve soldiers who have failed to report faced a court-martial.

Pagan, who grew up near Camden, N.J., was working in a department store when she made her commitment in September 2002. She learned how to drive a truck, and met Travis while stationed in Hawaii. She had her first child while in uniform, and they left the service in 2005 when their enlistments were up.

She always knew there was a chance she could be recalled, so she buried the thought in the back of her mind.

"When I enlisted, they said almost nobody gets called back when you're in the IRR," she said.

The young family settled outside of Charlotte in the college town of Davidson, where Travis landed a job as a salesman. It required lots of travel, but that was OK β€” Pagan enjoyed her life as a stay-at-home mom to their son Eric and a daughter named Elizabeth.

She opened a child-care center in her home, and started taking classes at nearby Fayetteville State.

The orders to return to active duty arrived in December 2007. She told the Army there was no one to take care of her children: Her husband spent most of his time on the road, and they believe quitting his job is a sure path to bankruptcy and foreclosure. Her parents live in New Jersey and her husband's parents live in Texas. Neither are able to help out. The Army wasn't persuaded.

Pagan hired attorney Mark Waple, who filed another appeal, which included a letter from Travis Pagan's employer that said bluntly: "In order for Travis to remain an employee, he will be required to travel." In December 2008, her appeal was again rejected.

"It's the obligation of commanders to make certain that service members have a valid family care plan and that clearly has not happened in Lisa's case," Waple said.

Tom Tarantino, a policy associate with the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, a nonprofit group that helps veterans, said the Army has taken a hard line on many of these cases.

"Usually the only way that someone can get out of the deployment or get out of the military due to a family hardship is if they get into a situation where the kids will be put into foster care," Tarantino said.

"That's how serious it has to be, and I'm sure what the military is telling her β€” and I'm not saying that this is exactly the right answer β€” but the fact that it is inconvenient for her husband's job is not the military's problem. It's very harsh."

by on Mar. 2, 2009 at 1:24 AM
Replies (61-68):
jenn_vargas
by on Mar. 7, 2009 at 9:11 PM

My heart aches for any mom to have to leave her children for a long period of time- single parrent or not. This however, I feel is especially heartbreaking. No child should have to be without his mother and god forbid something terrible happens and she does not make it back.... Let's hope that she will get an honorable discharge and never has to leave her little one

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Mar. 8, 2009 at 12:44 AM

I'm so sick of seeing the replys saying they feel for her because no child should be without a mother...  I guess fathers don't mean anything to you people? 

 

SHE SIGNED A CONTRACT!


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

dr_m
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 11:23 AM

wow, some of you guys are pretty tough on moms, i mean she's not going on a business trip, she could be seriously injured or killed !  so many ppl are not called back for hardship..  it should certainly include leaving children..   less women are going to sign up...

 

rella8672
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 1:55 PM


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm so sick of seeing the replys saying they feel for her because no child should be without a mother...  I guess fathers don't mean anything to you people? 

 

SHE SIGNED A CONTRACT!

I know right.Who cares that our husbands have missed holidays and birthdays and the births of their children?Who cares that they miss first steps,first words,first days of school?As long as this woman ,who VOLUNTEERED to be in the military and still had 2 years left to serve on her contract,doesn't have to leave her children with her poor,poor incapable husband.

Give me a freaking break.


mommy2angels427
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:14 PM

yeah... it sucks to have to leave children as a parent... but, I don't believe there should be any exceptions to deployment... people knew the expectations when they joined...and decided to join anyhow..... so sorry for they inconvenience but, what is fair for one military parent is fair to all military parents... perhaps she should be given the chance to "quit" if she wants.. but, in no way should she be excluded!!!

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:59 PM


Quoting dr_m:

wow, some of you guys are pretty tough on moms, i mean she's not going on a business trip, she could be seriously injured or killed !  so many ppl are not called back for hardship..  it should certainly include leaving children..   less women are going to sign up...

 

I'm not being tough on her.  She VOLUNTARILY joined the military and knew what she was getting into.  You understand that you can be called back at anytime during IRR until your contract is up.  Her's wasn't. 

And I know it's not a buisness trip... My husband puts his life on the line all the time.  He's been deployed multiple times.  He missed the birth and the first 4 months of our son's life.  But do I bitch and make him take the kids with him when he is called to go?  No.  I don't. 

Also... it's not a hardship for her husband to care for the kids.  Plenty of men do it everyday.  Why should her family be any different....


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Mar. 8, 2009 at 4:00 PM


Quoting rella8672:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm so sick of seeing the replys saying they feel for her because no child should be without a mother...  I guess fathers don't mean anything to you people? 

 

SHE SIGNED A CONTRACT!

I know right.Who cares that our husbands have missed holidays and birthdays and the births of their children?Who cares that they miss first steps,first words,first days of school?As long as this woman ,who VOLUNTEERED to be in the military and still had 2 years left to serve on her contract,doesn't have to leave her children with her poor,poor incapable husband.

Give me a freaking break.

THANK YOU!!!!!!

I don't know about your hubby but mine has been to Iraq and back.  He has deployed time and time again and missed out on a lot.  But it is what you sign up for!  :)  He left when I was 7 months pregnant and didn't come home until our son was almost 5 months old.  It sucked!  But I didn't whine about it and call a national news team... 

:)


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

Eilish
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 4:01 PM


Quoting dr_m:

wow, some of you guys are pretty tough on moms, i mean she's not going on a business trip, she could be seriously injured or killed !  so many ppl are not called back for hardship..  it should certainly include leaving children..   less women are going to sign up...


Our military would be stripped to bare bones if they decided not to deploy parents.

She knew the deal; she signed the paperwork; it sucks, but that is what she agreed to do.

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