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Did this mom go too far?

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 7:45 AM
  • 15 Replies

While breaking bread with a former colleague , she told me that a recent hire's mother called her office after a poor performance review.  I believe my eyes were bulging in shock at this disclosure.  Granted, that employee was a recent college grad and may have been a bit green, which is okay, but bad behavior is bad behavior, hence the basis for the unflattering review.  The unflattering remarks were not about the actual work product, it was more about that young woman's unprofessional behavior - e.g. eye rolling, chronic lateness, too much time spent texting, etc.   My friend, also a parent, exclaimed, 'this is the worst case of helicopter parenting that I've ever seen in real life!'

Needless to say, she has an even more negative view of her colleague.  Do you think that mom went too far?  And, might have that constant hovering fostered a sense of entitlement in her daughter?

by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 7:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AmaliaD
by Member on Mar. 6, 2009 at 8:03 AM

yes, it is overbearing to call your grown child at their work place to reprimand them for poor performance, the only way i see that as appropriate is if you work for the same company and they are making you look bad.  my lil brother works for the same company as my dad, my dad got him the job, so in that case i do think my dad could talk to my brother if he did poorly.   the daughter was written up for being immature (late, texting, attitude) so could that be a result of an overbearing enabling parent~  maybe or maybe the parent is still involved because of the daughter's inability to grow up... the chicken or the egg ya know??  that that is my thoughts on it...

FiveofHearts
by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 8:08 AM

Definitely!  Work, especially post-college work, is when the little birdies have flown the nest so it's time to butt out and let them make their own mistakes.  She could offer advice when her daughter talked to her about the review: "don't text during work, don't roll your eyes at work, etc." -> seems like that's common sense anyhow!  But she definitely shouldn't call the manager and complain.

tiggerrrt
by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 8:15 AM

This is what happens when you don't let your children grow up and constantly intercede in their problems...they never learn how to do for themselves.  There is a time to cut the cord and allow your kids to stand on their own two feet. 

There is a time to let them grow up.

admckenzie
by New Member on Mar. 6, 2009 at 8:27 AM

I interceded one time for my daughter and I don't regret it. They were going to fire her for something stupid and I stepped in and went to the Tax Collector himself (her top boss). She was young and naive and wouldn't stand up for herself. Right or wrong, sometimes we moms do things we think is in the best interest of the child, even adult child. My dd was only 16 when she worked for the county but she was an emanicipated minor. Not mature but emanicipated with a child. It was outrageous how they walked all over her. I was glad when she finally quit there but i wasn't going to let them bully her out.

Junebug926
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2009 at 8:32 AM

I think the girl's poor behavior is a result of this kind of parenting. It's kind of like the "not my baby" syndrome.

PestPatti
by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 9:20 AM

 

 I wouldnt  call my son's employer because his performance review was bad.   Its my sons job to the whats expected of him at work.

 While I was a office manager for a chiropractor,  we went through quite a few 20 something receptionists.  The one that toook the cake, was the 25 year old who couldnt work on Tuesday because her parents werent home on Tuesdays to wake her up.   On 1 occasion her mommy and daddy called in for her.  I explained to mommy and daddy its not their job, she needs to call in herself.    They lectured me on parentling.... 

cmarielin
by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 9:52 AM

Yeah, I think that's a little ridiculous.  Mommy has no business calling the girl's workplace, or boss, to talk about her grown-up daughter's work performance.  LOL!  Kinda crazy!

Jax_mommy
by Member on Mar. 6, 2009 at 10:25 AM

Your post made me laugh really hard!

Aren't these "workers" embarrassed about their Mommies calling their work?


 

Quoting PestPatti:

 

 I wouldnt  call my son's employer because his performance review was bad.   Its my sons job to the whats expected of him at work.

 While I was a office manager for a chiropractor,  we went through quite a few 20 something receptionists.  The one that toook the cake, was the 25 year old who couldnt work on Tuesday because her parents werent home on Tuesdays to wake her up.   On 1 occasion her mommy and daddy called in for her.  I explained to mommy and daddy its not their job, she needs to call in herself.    They lectured me on parentling.... 


my2boyz117
by Member on Mar. 6, 2009 at 12:32 PM

Being a Helicopter Parent to a child that age and calling their work, it's ridiculous, cut the umbilical cord already!  I would be so embarrassed if I was that persons daughter.

sweetie00
by on Mar. 6, 2009 at 12:41 PM

EXACTLY!!!!

Quoting Junebug926:

I think the girl's poor behavior is a result of this kind of parenting. It's kind of like the "not my baby" syndrome.


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