Hot Topic (3/21): "I love my husband more than I love my children."

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

Back in 2005, an article by Ayelet Waldman appeared in the New York Times called "Truly, Madly, Guiltily."  She admitted that she loves her husband more than her kids, sparking an outcry in the blogosphere and resulting in an appearance on the Oprah show.

What do you think?  Do you love your husband more than your kids?  Do you think Ayelet Waldman is wrong?

[TawnyR]

I love my children and my DH just in different ways. I can't say who I love more because it is a different kind of love for each person. HOWEVER my children will always come first and I expect it to be the same for my DH.

[fullofhope325]

You took the words right out of my month. Thanks less I had to type, lol.

Quoting TawnyR:

I love my children and my DH just in different ways. I can't say who I love more because it is a different kind of love for each person. HOWEVER my children will always come first and I expect it to be the same for my DH.

[Mommy_Jenn]

Definately what the PP said :D

[Mergath]

Not me. I love my daughter more than I love my husband, and I find it difficult to understand how anyone could feel differently. Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband, but my daughter is so important to me, so much a part of me, that I can't even begin to imagine loving anyone more than I love her. I would die, in screaming agony, a thousand times to keep her safe. I would give up everything I have to make her happy. Would I do the same for my husband? Probably not. *shrug* That's just me though. And my husband is sort of a dick. Lol.

[Mommy_of_Riley]

The way I see it...  the love I have for my husband created my children.  :) 

I agree with the 1st poster...  I love my husband and my kids just in different ways. 

[hsteele]

Right now both are driving me crazy. But I probably love my daughter more. I think I would do anything for her, whereas with my husband I would do anything as long as it didn't hurt my daughter.

[momaof8]

I think the problem is too many parents who don't put their kids ahead of themselves. I would die for my kids. I don't spoil them with material things, but I sacrifice my betterment for theirs. My husband does the same. I think as parents our kids should come first and again not in material possesions, but in our lives. I love my kids more than anything else in this world. I can't identify with a mom who doesn't love her kids more. As for my husband I would sacrifice anything, but my kids for him. We have been together for over twenty years.

[cdgoldilocks]

I don't know why people got themselves into an uproar over her statement. Love is different for everyone.

The love I feel for my children is like no other. I still watch them when they sleep sometimes, and they are 5 and 13. When they are sick or in pain, it causes me pain. I know you ladies all understand what I am talking about. My children are truly innocent.

The love I have for my husband is different entirely. I love him, but I don't feel it goes nearly as deep. When I am hurt by him, it does pain me, but not nearly as deeply as if I am in pain for my kids.

I think there are things that influence the level  of devotion we wives feel toward our husbands. If a man cares for you deeply and shows it often, it inspires a deep devotion in the woman. If a woman isn't getting the simple things she needs from her husband, then she won't feel inspired to put her love and commitment where it needs to go.

 For me, I think I love my kids more because I have no monumental expectations in them. Yes, I want them to be kind and to clean their messes up, but that's about it. As for my husband, I do have expectations, and maybe that is my problem. I want my husband to help me around the house, as I am working more hours than him due to the economy. I want him to bring me flowers once in awhile. I want him to try and fix simple broken things around the house, like putting screws back into a chair pad that has lost its screws. When my husband does not do things to help me/support me/show me that I matter, I tend not to feel that deep love the author in the article must feel for her husband. Maybe I am wrong for having expectations, but I just think adults *should* do certain basic things in a marriage without having to run the nagging record over and over.

When I think of the deep love I have for my kids, it boggles my mind to think of how much deeper the love  I could give my husband if I felt he appreciated it.

[Da1nOnlyDestiny]

i don't think it is healthy that she thinks that way. I love my children more then anything in this world including myself, I just cant see being any other way.

[lilmaiyagirl]

The love I have for my husband is way different than the way I love my kids. My Marriage comes before my kids, Happy Mom+Dad= Happy Kids in my book. Now that does not mean I neglect my kids in any way shape or form, I would die for them, just as I would for my husband and he feels the same way.