Hot Topic (3/22): Pregnant on Purpose: Fair Game or Foul Play?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

I found this in CafeMom's Daily Buzz:

 

Pregnant on Purpose: Fair Game or Foul Play?

 

Let's say you really wanted a baby. And maybe your Partner isn't ready or just can't make up his mind. Would you try to get pregnant on purpose? If he isn't asking about birth control or insisting on using any of his own, is it fair game for you to try to conceive? 

 

 

I came across a post in Answers about getting pregnant on purpose and moms were split. Some said no way, both parties have to know what's going down and be in agreement about it. Others said sometimes you're not trying to be devious -- you're just not using BC, it turns out you get pregnant, and it's a surprise to you both.

 

And one Anonymous mom said her last pregnancy was "her little secret." Her hubby wasn't sure about another baby, but she was, and she felt the "clock was ticking," so she went for it and has no regrets.

 

What do you think?

Is it fair to get pregnant on purpose?

[MommyOnLI]

if the man is serious about NOT wanting a child then he would wear protection at all times, esp knowing that the woman he is banging wants a baby.

while i think its NOT fair to the main to be held responsible for child support for a child he did NOT want to concieve and was TRICKED into doing it, he still has some sort of responsibity to put on a raincoat.

thats one scenerio.

now if the whole pregnant thing never came up in conversation, and the woman he was sleeping with was a long time lover and she was on the pill and they never used protection and then all of a sudden she decided to stop taking the pill so she can trick him, then the man shold NOT have a responsibility to the child.  yes i know you can get pregnant on the pill, but it is hard.

[mandiemae12523]

Gosh, I am not really sure!!!  Depends I guess how adiment my hubby was about not wanting to have another!!! I guess I am on the fence about this one. 

[Penguin_of_Matt]

 IMO foul play.

If you are in a relationship it should be based with trust if the man knows his partner is on the pill or has some form of highly reliable bc I don't think he should have to use bc himself.  It isn't fair for the woman to change the playing field without having the man in agreement.  If the tables were turned and the woman didn't want another child would it be fair to put the woman in the spot of being pregnant? Not as I see it so why do that to the man.  Fair is fair and if you can't trust your partner what kind of relationship is that for anyone - kids included.

[mayzell]

 I want another child very bad but, i would never deceive my husband to get one.I would want him to love the baby,not regret it and be mad at me. I think it should be a decision two people make together unless,you want a baby and your not married i don't see anything wrong with  being with a guy for a child if you know you can take care of it alone. It may seem wrong but for some women it could be the only way.

[Penguin_of_Matt]

I agree if you are single and decide to take that route to have a baby it is your choice - but I don't feel you should then expect any type of input financial or otherwise from the man. But that whole situation would be best done through a professional agent to remove any possible legal problems along the way.

Quoting mayzell:

 I want another child very bad but, i would never deceive my husband to get one.I would want him to love the baby,not regret it and be mad at me. I think it should be a decision two people make together unless,you want a baby and your not married i don't see anything wrong with  being with a guy for a child if you know you can take care of it alone. It may seem wrong but for some women it could be the only way.

[morningdove831]

I don't like the idea of using deception to get pregnant.   A relationship should be based on trust and honesty.  I wouldn't ever do this to my DBF.

[Mommy_Jenn]

Totally foul play.  If he doesn't want children or any more children you either go with it or go find some one who wants kids.

 

[Armywife6]

It's totally unfair to the man. If she knows he doesn't want any or any more kids then that should be that. If he's on the fence she should wait till he decides. It's not fair to him in any circumstance.

[fullofhope325]

 If the guy is not so sure about having another one, them may be he should use protection. He does not need to leave it up to the women. So if she is sure she wants another & he does nothing to protect himself I see it as fair game.

[chelle41204]

NO NO NO!!!!!!  Getting pregnant on purpose is not cool!!!  I know a girl that has done this both times she has gotten pregnant and it really just causes problems and trust issues between the couple.  I honestly don't think I could live with myself if I ever did something like that.  It is just immoral and unethical.

Michelle