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Hot Topic (3/30): 'Mommy Wars' - Is staying home with kids bad for women?

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 1:31 AM
  • 67 Replies

 As reported by abcnews.go.com a few years back:

"An alarming number of college-educated women are leaving the work force to stay at home and raise their children, a trend that is a tragedy not only for the mothers, but ultimately their children and women as a whole.  So said law professor and working mom Linda Hirshman in a 2005 article for American Prospect magazine that has ignited an intense debate among mothers." 

* * *

Do you agree with Linda Hirshman that staying home with children is a "tragedy" for mothers and their children?

Do you feel like you have to choose between your career and your children? 

Do you judge other mothers who make choices different from your own? 

Is it possible for women to "have it all"? 

 


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by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 1:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nikonme
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 1:42 AM
I was a stay at home -single mom (no welfare, just fortunate). Until ds was in school. And even though I love my job as a paramedic, I'm now taking a long break for baby ds, because I'd never leave him for that amount of time (12 hour min shift). And I don't care what ANYONE thinks :)
Eilish
by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 1:43 AM


Quoting Cafe GroupAdmin:

 As reported by abcnews.go.com a few years back:

"An alarming number of college-educated women are leaving the work force to stay at home and raise their children, a trend that is a tragedy not only for the mothers, but ultimately their children and women as a whole.  So said law professor and working mom Linda Hirshman in a 2005 article for American Prospect magazine that has ignited an intense debate among mothers." 

* * *

Do you agree with Linda Hirshman that staying home with children is a "tragedy" for mothers and their children?

Uhh ... NO!

Do you feel like you have to choose between your career and your children? 

If I want to raise my children in a manner that I deem fit, then yes. But considering the consequences if I do not raise my own children, made the decision very easy for me.

Do you judge other mothers who make choices different from your own? 

No. I think it is sad that some feel like they have to be at work, or they don't have the ability or the means to stay at home or even home school. But I can't tell them they are screwing themselves for it.

Is it possible for women to "have it all"? 

No.

Before I got pregnant I was on my way to being a genetic researcher, my plan was to research cord blood stem cells as an ethical alternative to embryonic stem cells. I am a "Lab Rat" at heart, I am most comfortable sitting behind a microscope or standing in front of medical testing equipment.

But here is the reason why I think so many college-educated women out there are choosing to be SAH moms .. because they know that options available now - the day care, the public education, what have you, are not what they are cracked up to be. Most of us college-educated moms have decided that we can do a far better job than some government-funded thing.

Quite frankly, I think this woman is jealous. I imagine she is only pro-choice on one issue.

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mmtosam06
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 1:48 AM

Do you agree with Linda Hirshman that staying home with children is a "tragedy" for mothers and their children?

NO because there are way too many cases of child abuse in daycares/by babysitters/dh's/so's ect

Do you feel like you have to choose between your career and your children? 

NO because you only have kids once & theres plenty of time to get a pt job after kids are in school if you choose not to homeschool

Do you judge other mothers who make choices different from your own? 

NO I feel bad for them

Is it possible for women to "have it all"?   

NO

im a non vaxxing/cloth diapering/full term breastfeeding sahm who is wanting another but waiting/WoW addicted momma to a 2yr old princess
hsteele
by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 2:48 AM

I think that woman is a b****. By saying that choosing to be home with our kids is somehow wrong, she is basically trying to dictate to us whether we should stay home or go to work. Its just like back in the day when men said we couldn't work. Now we can't stay home? Sounds anti feminist to me. I think my daughter benefits from having me home with her. I am not saying mothers who are out there working are bad mothers, but I am certainly not hurting my daughter by being home with her. I am keeping her out of potentially harmful day cares. I am there for her when she needs me, I know her needs, and frankly I've tried working since she's been born and it was miserable for both of us. I love being a SAHM. That is my career. I am the Chief Executive Officer of the Steele household. A rather fulfilling career if you ask me.

Heather

Proud Pagan Mama

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. ~Benjamin Franklin~

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Mar. 30, 2009 at 2:59 AM

I'm a Stay at Home Mom.  I also have my Bachelors Degree in Political Science and Criminal Justice.  :) 

Why do I stay home?  Because I want to be the one raising my son and watching him grow.  Once he is school age I will go back to work.  That is our decision as a family.  Luckily we can do this.  :)


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

my2boyz117
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 7:30 AM

A tragedy? No, it's a personal decision for that woman..I have been a working Mom and am currently a SAHM, both are very hard and both have pro's and con's....I am actually trying to go back to school, that's my choice, what I would like to do. To each their own, do what's best for you & your family!  It's a hard decision sometimes....

Amanda

my2boyz117
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 7:34 AM

 

Quoting mmtosam06:

Do you agree with Linda Hirshman that staying home with children is a "tragedy" for mothers and their children?

NO because there are way too many cases of child abuse in daycares/by babysitters/dh's/so's ect

Do you feel like you have to choose between your career and your children? 

NO because you only have kids once & theres plenty of time to get a pt job after kids are in school if you choose not to homeschool

Do you judge other mothers who make choices different from your own? 

NO I feel bad for them

Is it possible for women to "have it all"?   

NO


Wow that's harsh, you feel bad when some woman needs or wants to work outside the home b/c that's what they feel is best for their family, WOW is all I can say!!! That's exactly why there are "mommy wars"...

Amanda

Chickadee
by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 7:51 AM

I wish moms would just respect each other and not worry about why a mom stays home or goes to work. Moms choose what's best for their families. Can't we just leave it at that?  

hsteele
by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 7:53 AM


Quoting mmtosam06:

Is it possible for women to "have it all"?   

NO

I disagree. It might be difficult but women can and do balance a career and a family. Husbands do all the time. It doesn't make them less of a Dad to have a career away from home. When my hushand retires from the Navy I intend to start my own small business where I fully expect to remain involved completely with my family. Like I said. Its hard, but when she works at it, a woman can have it all, if that's what she wants.

Heather
Proud Pagan Mama


" No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide- What's right for you -- just listen to the voice that speaks inside." ~Shel Silverstein~
athenax3
by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 7:58 AM

ehh, opinions like assholes, everyone has one and it's usually shitty....lol...the only people that seem to have a problem with sahm's are mom's who don't do it for whatever reason, sounds more like sour grapes than fact.


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