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RESPECT ...yourself

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 5:07 PM
  • 11 Replies

This is my mini rant...

I feel like some people are just IDIOTS when it comes to relationships. Maybe their parents never tought them to respect themselves at all. Seriously, I have ZERO respect for women who allow men to take advantage of them, lie to them over and over again... and they come back for 2nds and 3rds!! It takes a strong, confident man to love a strong, opinionated woman... ... An intelligent woman can tell the difference between love that is returned and love that is lost on a man who is unwilling to give the same back. An idiot will throw their life away on a man who is not worth it. Ah well, some people are thick skulled and have to learn the hard way I guess.


PAHhhh-THETIC

 

Ash & Mark + our lil man

 

 

 


 

by on Mar. 30, 2009 at 5:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gogetem
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 5:18 PM

How long have you been married?  Men are a PAIN IN THE ASS... well, the majority of them at the least.  They often need women to whip them into shape (especially the younger men).  I married a boy... both in mind and age it seems...

I've dealt with a lot, but I'm not giving up so long as I see progress.  He is making very steady progress and although he has put me through a lot, I respect him and I am proud of him for trying so hard.  It's a risky thing to judge a woman and her relationship with her husband since honestly, everyone on the outside of it hasn't got a clue as to what the relationship is truly like.

It's okay.   


My rats think you're gross, too.


<:3  )~~          ~~~(,,,,*>

JJTaylor
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 8:26 PM

Kudos to you.  You have great self confidence and that's a great thing to have.  Unfortunately, some don't always have such confidence in themselves and allow themselves to be lost, many times people allow this because they feel good about having someone claim they love them... even if it's bad love, it's still at that moment what they think they want.

I am happily married to a very great man.  (10+ years) But sadly, that wasn't always the case, my first major relationship was with the wrong person... before I met him, I thought I had confidence, I was lying to myself.  I did have to learn the hard way, after wanting to believe everything that he said... all the lies, all the abusive words and hurtful things he did to me... I stayed.  I realized eventually I had somehow lost myself.  It took a long time, 5 years; I call it my 5 year brain fart... I still cannot even honestly tell anyone why I stayed for so long.

As for calling someone names and insulting someone that is being abused, regardless if it's abuse you see or abuse that's in the head it's all bad.  I understand it's difficult to see your friends and loved ones fall into such horrible circumstances, however, they are needing people to stick it out with them... I lost all my friends, except 3, they stood by me and were there when I finally found the will to leave for good.  I don't claim to understand why so many, including myself stayed... maybe it was because I was so brow beat mentally I just felt lost and he was the only thing that was still there no matter what, he was a bad drug... an awful addiction. 


luckcharm
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 10:52 PM

Wow! That is just horribly judgemental of you.

 

                   

Azlebella
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 11:26 PM


Quoting luckcharm:

Wow! That is just horribly judgemental of you.

 


I am sorry if I come across judgemental in my little rant. I have just seen too many women I am close to tolerate things that in my opinion are just beyond intolerable. It really confuses me why some claim they do it out of love, because love is a two way street and someone who loves you and wants to make a relationship work with you is not oing to treat you like something they just stepped in. Being in denial is not exactly healthy either... I understand every relationship and every circumstance is different, but when it comes down to something that is just plain UNHEALTHY to be involved in, it is time to cut your losses and realise that the 'partner' in your relationship isn't really a partner if he is not willing to put the effort in and is just taking advantage. I have been in an abusive rlationship and I did not see the man for who he was until it seemed too late, but I picked myself up after that and vowed to never allow someone to treat me like that again. It is a matter of learning from your mistakes. I do honestly believe some people (not just women) just want so badly to be in a relationship or to be loved that they are willing to overlook the quality of the person they are with and their actual level of commitment to them in the first place. It is give and take- one person can not put in 100% for the relationship and the other person zero. I guess it would have been interpreted better if I put specifics. For instance, someone who used to be a good friend of mine has been off and on with a guy for 5 years whom slept with 4 of her best friends and fathered two of their kids and is now about to father hers. She knows what he has done behind her back and to her face but 'choses' to remain in denial bout it, even going so far as to alienate her friends for telling her about his cheating escapades. He continues to cheat on her and does it in the open because he knows she is in denial, he uses her for her money and her vehicle (he's a total scrub) and physically and mentally abuses her on a multiple time weekly basis. So yes, i may come across judgemental but I can not help but judge when I see people I care for voluntarily allowing themselves to be hurt. At the same time, i can not say I feel very sorry for her because she allows it to happen.

Ash & Mark + our lil man

 

 

 


 

Azlebella
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 11:28 PM


Quoting JJTaylor:

Kudos to you.  You have great self confidence and that's a great thing to have.  Unfortunately, some don't always have such confidence in themselves and allow themselves to be lost, many times people allow this because they feel good about having someone claim they love them... even if it's bad love, it's still at that moment what they think they want.

I am happily married to a very great man.  (10+ years) But sadly, that wasn't always the case, my first major relationship was with the wrong person... before I met him, I thought I had confidence, I was lying to myself.  I did have to learn the hard way, after wanting to believe everything that he said... all the lies, all the abusive words and hurtful things he did to me... I stayed.  I realized eventually I had somehow lost myself.  It took a long time, 5 years; I call it my 5 year brain fart... I still cannot even honestly tell anyone why I stayed for so long.

As for calling someone names and insulting someone that is being abused, regardless if it's abuse you see or abuse that's in the head it's all bad.  I understand it's difficult to see your friends and loved ones fall into such horrible circumstances, however, they are needing people to stick it out with them... I lost all my friends, except 3, they stood by me and were there when I finally found the will to leave for good.  I don't claim to understand why so many, including myself stayed... maybe it was because I was so brow beat mentally I just felt lost and he was the only thing that was still there no matter what, he was a bad drug... an awful addiction. 


I am truly glad you found the strength to overcome all that and nw have found happiness. I give you kudos for struggling through that and not giving up after all those set-backs. Someimes it can be incredibly hard to look past your love for the person and see them for who they truly are.

Azlebella
by Member on Mar. 30, 2009 at 11:30 PM


Quoting gogetem:

How long have you been married?  Men are a PAIN IN THE ASS... well, the majority of them at the least.  They often need women to whip them into shape (especially the younger men).  I married a boy... both in mind and age it seems...

I've dealt with a lot, but I'm not giving up so long as I see progress.  He is making very steady progress and although he has put me through a lot, I respect him and I am proud of him for trying so hard.  It's a risky thing to judge a woman and her relationship with her husband since honestly, everyone on the outside of it hasn't got a clue as to what the relationship is truly like.


Yes, you are right. Every relationship is different and I try not to judge unless I really know the whole spectrum of the situation, and even then I try not to judge, I guess I made a mistake being so broad when I posted this topic- it really is all about the individual relationship.

blondekosmic15
by on Mar. 31, 2009 at 12:49 AM

I believe women behave this way due to a low self-esteem & possibly a lack of confidence w/ in themselves that they can dissolve their relationship * seek help & meet someone who truly loves them~

BabyGracesMommy
by Member on Mar. 31, 2009 at 2:49 PM

Wow, your husband sounds a lot like mine, but he works to be the best he can be and that's all that matters to me.

Quoting gogetem:

How long have you been married?  Men are a PAIN IN THE ASS... well, the majority of them at the least.  They often need women to whip them into shape (especially the younger men).  I married a boy... both in mind and age it seems...

I've dealt with a lot, but I'm not giving up so long as I see progress.  He is making very steady progress and although he has put me through a lot, I respect him and I am proud of him for trying so hard.  It's a risky thing to judge a woman and her relationship with her husband since honestly, everyone on the outside of it hasn't got a clue as to what the relationship is truly like.


cadence_p
by Member on Mar. 31, 2009 at 3:23 PM

Since you have been in an abusive relationship you of all should understand how a woman can let herself get into that position. Since you had the strength right away to get out is not a reason to assume everyone else should. I'll admit in an old relationship I was a dumbass and thought I could "save" him. It took 5 years, but I finally saw the light and although I WILL NEVER allow another man to abuse me like that, I try to understand other abuse victims and help them out with my own experiences instead of just passing judgement (not trying to be rude or say you do that - I've just found it common). I think the worst part for past-abuse victims is that we "see" what is going to happen and it is frustrating. We have to remember how vulnerable we were and work with them. It's not always easy, but it's the best way.

Lexy2518
by Member on Mar. 31, 2009 at 3:39 PM

*~love is blind~*

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