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Do women really not know the father of their child? How can you not know? I just don't understand how that is possible.

by on Apr. 14, 2009 at 1:31 PM
Replies (31-40):
Godgaveme4
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2009 at 7:49 PM


Quoting jrdnjstn00:

Some of these women actually do know who the father is but just too embarrassed or don't want to deal with him so they say they don't know.

I have a friend who knows who her childs father is but didn't put him on the BC and just says she doesn't know because she doesnt want him in her life or the child's life. Call it greedy but she has her reasons

Actually the fact that I refuse to tell anyone has nothing to do with being embarressed.  My lawyer told me that if the father, any of his family or anyone else asked that legally i do not need to answer them.  I can tell them that it could be his or some other guy.  The ball is then in his court to find out.  Then my lawyer told me that if he does go down that road we will sue him for everything. 

luckcharm
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2009 at 8:02 PM

Better than nothing!

Quoting lilmaiyagirl:


Quoting luckcharm:

I have no issues with people having multiple partners. 

I wish they would use protection tho.  Its just so much safer with all the things out in the world today.

 

Even condoms aren't 100% effective and neither is the pill.


luckcharm
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2009 at 8:06 PM

Sometimes its has nothing to do with being a slut or being drunk,  sometimes its just about the fact that sex is fun.

I'm single... I'm not seeing anyone.   Am I supposed to just not have sex because I'm not married or in a serious relationship?   um... no I don't think so.

If I meet someone I'm attracted to I'll have sex with him.  Doesn't mean we're going to hop into a relationship.  And a few weeks later if I meet someone else that I'm attracted to,  I'm going to have sex.  Now, if by chance that I get pregnant,  because condoms aren't 100%,  then I would not know for a fact who was in fact the father.

Doesn't make me a slut, and it doesn't make me some nasty skank.  It just makes me a regular person like so many others out there. 

                   

JJTaylor
by Member on Apr. 14, 2009 at 9:16 PM

I am so not trying to be judgemental; however, I am extremely curious... (I have known women in this similar situation a couple of my friends have chosen some similar to your post... )

Would or will you plan to ever tell your eldest child?  I mean, not like Guess what?!  But, maybe before you leave this life, or when they are much older, adults and possibly you think they should know at some point?

I only ask because I have often wondered... does anyone other then you or your husband know this to be true?  If so, do you think another family member would take it upon themselves to reveal this to your child later? 

What if you never tell and he has to find out because of some health issue in the future... I don't mean to be nosey, but, like I said I have always been seriously just curious about this. 


Quoting Godgaveme4:

I will not tell anyone the name of my oldest son's biological father.  My husband is the biological fathaer of my younger 3 and Dad to my oldest.

I made a decision when i found out I was pregant.  I never needed his help and never will.


savannahnhi
by on Apr. 14, 2009 at 10:12 PM

That is nasty.  there is this one girl; i kinda know.  she has a almost 4 years old, a 20 month old and 10 months old.  her oldest is from an ex.  well she thought the 20 month and 10 months was her husband.  well it turn out that she cheated on her husband with the 4 years old daddy/ and now it turn out the 20 month is her son with her ex not her husband.

Godgaveme4
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2009 at 10:45 PM

At some we will.  If and when he ask We will sit down with him.  Probably sooner since my husband wants to adopt him.  My husband is the only father he has known, (we got married when he was 3 andstarted dating when he was 1.  And we have reached the age where the biological parent does not need to be contacted. And actually I have learned there are ways around that too.

No one but I really know.  There is nothing on a birth certificate and I purposely did not tell my siblings or parents.  I did not want them to be in a situation that if someone asked them they would possibly lie.  So they can truthfully say they do not know the fathers name.

I understand what you are saying about health issues.  I have thought about that.  I want my son to be an adult before I tell him the name.  I want him to be mature enough to handle the situation and not get caught up in the crap this guy does.  I don't know what i was thinking.

I hope this answered your question.

Quoting JJTaylor:

I am so not trying to be judgemental; however, I am extremely curious... (I have known women in this similar situation a couple of my friends have chosen some similar to your post... )

Would or will you plan to ever tell your eldest child?  I mean, not like Guess what?!  But, maybe before you leave this life, or when they are much older, adults and possibly you think they should know at some point?

I only ask because I have often wondered... does anyone other then you or your husband know this to be true?  If so, do you think another family member would take it upon themselves to reveal this to your child later? 

What if you never tell and he has to find out because of some health issue in the future... I don't mean to be nosey, but, like I said I have always been seriously just curious about this. 


Quoting Godgaveme4:

I will not tell anyone the name of my oldest son's biological father.  My husband is the biological fathaer of my younger 3 and Dad to my oldest.

I made a decision when i found out I was pregant.  I never needed his help and never will.



Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Apr. 14, 2009 at 10:59 PM

Wow... 

So I don't know who my biological father is.  My mom was a bartender and wasn't smart at the time.  She went home with guys from the bar all the time.  The one guy she was serious with found out I was a girl and he said he didn't want a daughter and bounced.  My mom did the DNA test... he wasn't my dad.  She had a few other choices and they weren't either.  So yes, honestly she doesn't know who my biological father is. 

But whatever... I'm fine!  :)  I grew up happy and healthy.  And the man I call Dad adopted me when I was very young and he is all the father I need!  :)


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Apr. 14, 2009 at 11:01 PM

 

Quoting godsgirl26:

that is jutst nasty to not know who their kid's father is...

Thanks for calling my mom "nasty".  Judgmental much?  People make mistakes.  But God knows you are perfect right....

eye rolling


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Apr. 14, 2009 at 11:04 PM


Quoting momaof8:

It is just ashame for the babies to never know.

I'm just fine thanks.  Infact... I don't care to know.  I am happy, healthy, and my mom raised me to be a good person.  My mom has NOTHING to be ashamed of.


   Wife of a Marine - Mommy to a Little Prince
            
& Expecting a Princess in May!                

Godgaveme4
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2009 at 11:05 PM


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Wow... 

So I don't know who my biological father is.  My mom was a bartender and wasn't smart at the time.  She went home with guys from the bar all the time.  The one guy she was serious with found out I was a girl and he said he didn't want a daughter and bounced.  My mom did the DNA test... he wasn't my dad.  She had a few other choices and they weren't either.  So yes, honestly she doesn't know who my biological father is. 

But whatever... I'm fine!  :)  I grew up happy and healthy.  And the man I call Dad adopted me when I was very young and he is all the father I need!  :)

I have to tell you that this is encouraging to me.  Thanks for sharing.

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