Hot Topic (5/3): Hate Speech: What Would You Do?

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

 I saw this in CafeMom's Daily Buzz:

Hate Speech: What Would You Do?

 

photo by groommania.

We should all be more like our pets. Loving.

 

 

 

Your 9-year-old daughter has a 7-year-old friend from the neighborhood. You know the little girl and her family in passing. They seem like really nice people. One day, after playing outside, your daughter and her her young friend pop in for some water, when the little girl suddenly remarks on a magnet you have on the refrigerator of President Obama. "I hate him because he's black," she openly says.

 

 

You're stunned. You know plenty of people who don't like the President, but you've never heard anyone--young or old--say what this child did. When your daughter reacts by asking her friend why she'd say something so hateful, the girl says that her dad "really doesn't like anyone of color and neither do I."

By the way, this really happened to FromAtoZ. Click here to see how she handled it.

 

 

[EireLass]

My kids friends always had different ideas than what I might be trying to teach my kids. When I'd hear them say things, I'd butt in quietly, not pushy, and ask them where they got that idea. When they offer it up, I'd tell them my own idea. Not pushy, but just opening the childs eyes to other ideas, thoughts, values. Nothing more. It's also a good way for your own child to witness how you react to things, and how you can offer ideas without being pushy. Something you'd want your own child to adopt.

[morningdove831]

I agree!  

[resamerie]

I would ask her to leave, maybe not even telling her why because I  wouldn't want to correct another person's child if they didn't know what they were saying was wrong. They learned it from their racist parent. Then I would get the parent on the phone and discuss it with them. 

[Godgaveme4]

I would ignore it and talk to my child about it after their friend left.

[Double.L]

Something else.

I would not go into detail or have a discussion about it but I would tell the child that what she said was hurtful. I would ask her how she would you feel if someone said they hated her because you were white/Mexican etc, and leave it at that. I would later have a discussion with my own child. My children aren't allowed to play at friends houses unless I am extremely close with the parents so that would not be an issue. I would continue to let the child play at our house, it may be the positive example she needs.

[jrdnjstn00]

I'd ask her why she feels that way, which was asked. This child was influenced by her dad. It's not your business to try and make her see differently just ask her not to say that anymore and not around her daughter.Her dad may get upset for you saying something to her or trying ot change her mind. maybe when she's older she'll know not to judge by skin color.

This is why racism is around and always be around.

Tell her Obama isn't black, he's black and white!

[hsteele]

Honestly there is nothing that speaking to the girls parents would do. I would tell the little girl that such language was hurtful and that black people were no different from white people. I wouldn't stop my daughter from playing with her, but I would make sure that my daughter knew that what that little girl said was hateful and wrong.

[hsteele]

Yes I would definitely not let her play at the girls house. Even outside. Its one thing to here that kind of language from the girl, but to hear it from an adult is completely different.

Quoting Double.L:

Something else.

I would not go into detail or have a discussion about it but I would tell the child that what she said was hurtful. I would ask her how she would you feel if someone said they hated her because you were white/Mexican etc, and leave it at that. I would later have a discussion with my own child. My children aren't allowed to play at friends houses unless I am extremely close with the parents so that would not be an issue. I would continue to let the child play at our house, it may be the positive example she needs.

[shinyhappymom]

I agree with this.  That child needs to gently hear another point of view.  Good point about being an example to your own child.

Quoting EireLass:

My kids friends always had different ideas than what I might be trying to teach my kids. When I'd hear them say things, I'd butt in quietly, not pushy, and ask them where they got that idea. When they offer it up, I'd tell them my own idea. Not pushy, but just opening the childs eyes to other ideas, thoughts, values. Nothing more. It's also a good way for your own child to witness how you react to things, and how you can offer ideas without being pushy. Something you'd want your own child to adopt.

[PamR]

Knowing that this child is just repeating what the adults around her have said, I would explain my feelings about it, without making her feel bad about herself.  But I would have a problem with my kid visiting her house.