Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you get birth control for your teenager?

If you have a son, would you buy him condoms?

If you have a daughter, would you take her to the doctor to get birth control pills?

Why or why not?


Please join:
 Advice for Moms        The CafeMom  Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club
Kids, Fun & Photos! Kids, Fun & Photos!    Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics
The Cafe                        CafeMom Hollywood

by on May. 14, 2009 at 7:40 PM
Replies (51-53):
by on May. 18, 2009 at 10:55 AM

Quoting ellieemc2:


Quoting WImom2:

NO. Instead of typing out all of the many reasons, lets just go with this, we are Catholic. That should give you all the general idea.

Guess Catholic girls NEVER have sex outside marriage nor NEVER get pregnant either.  Is that the general idea?

I have to agree here my dad is catholic and he was 17 when I was born, not married, and now on his 2nd marriage. I thought all of that was against what they believe, but whatever. I went to a lutheran grade school and hs and I was pregnant and delivered the summer before my soph year.

by Member on May. 18, 2009 at 10:58 AM

YES AND YES! I Id rather them not have sex, but lets face it, if they are teens, they are going to have most likely are, So I'd rather then be safe than sorry in the long run. I'd also teach them about safe sex practices and force them to sit and listen to  me, unlike my own mother!

by Member on May. 18, 2009 at 11:44 AM

I have seen so many parents who say they told their kids that they expect them to wait, but they didn't.  I think it's different to talk to them than to communicate the depth of expectation that it requires to make them wait. I also think that many parents of today who want to teach abstinence are basing it on the fact that people used to wait to have sex. What they don't get is that those kids lived on a different planet than we do.  For those of you whose parents were teens before about 1960, ask them what made them wait?  Those of you who are of an age that their parents grew up in a time when birth control was possible and the sexual revolution had happened, it's a different story.  If your parents are that young, find someone old enough to have been young before that time.  They waited.  Sure, some of them didn't but most of them did.  There are many reasons for this. 

  • The popular culture didn't fan the flames as blatantly as ours does and it was clear that sex before marriage was taboo.
  • You were more likely to get pregnant.  People associated sex with babies, not social acceptance.
  • Girls were taught that when boys told them that 'everyone' was doing it, they were lying.
  • Pregnant teens were social pariahs.  They couldn't go to school with their friends.  They had to finish at home.  My husband's seventy year old aunt got married just because she wanted to, during her senior year.  She was kicked out of school and was not allowed to walk with her graduating class after finishing as a homebound student.  Not for being pregnant, but because school was for kids and once you started having sex, you weren't a kid anymore.
  • When girls were told to wait until marriage, they weren't telling them to wait until after college and two years or more of supporting themselves before they should marry.  They expected to marry the guy they loved when they met him, but dating was supposed to be for the purpose of finding a spouse. Also, teens were being raised to be productive adults at the age of eighteen. 
  • Teen couples who got pregnant were made to marry in most cases.
  • Girls were expected to only date guys who were respectable themselves and to demand the best from them in matters of respect.  Guys were taught that girls who would have sex with them at a young age were of bad character and would not make good wives and mothers.
  • Girls who 'slept around' were ostracized and it didn't require sleeping with the whole jock class at school to get that rep.

Now, I'm not saying all of these things are superior to the way we live now.  I think some of them are, but not all.  I just want to make the point that those of us who teach abstinence don't have the support of society. I will confess that I had almost no hormonal activity going on as a teenager.  Mine didn't fire up until after I had my first child.  My kids send off many clues that the same is true for them, so I can't point to my own great success in teaching abstinence.  I will say that it is a mistake to think that all teens are horny monsters.  If the girls who have sex simply to fit in were supported better, there would be a somewhat lower rate of teen sex.  Even girls who don't crave sex are subject to peer pressure and think something's wrong with them for not 'getting it'.  They also want to be loved and this society equates sex with love.  I will also be a bitch and say that those parents who expect their boys to get all the sex they can and just keep condoms freely on hand for them are making it unnecessarily hard on the parents out there who are trying to teach their teens that they don't just have to have sex at this age.  Nothing was said about respecting a girl's right to say no.  If that part was just left out, I'll back down a little, but not entirely.  You have to back up your teaching with actions.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)