Hot Topic (5/21): Attachment Parenting

[Cafe GroupAdmin]

According to AskDrSears.com:  (click link for more information)

ATTACHMENT PARENTING IS:

1. Birth bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Babywearing
4. Bedding close to baby
5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry

6. Beware of baby trainers

7. Balance

* * *

What is your reaction to Attachment Parenting?

[Eilish]

I support all but point 6 .... if you don't train your baby, your baby will train you .... and really - it's not as bad as they make it sound. Actually my doc recommended a book for me called, Raising a Happy, Unpsoiled Child (?) which takes the best of both of worlds .... it "trains" the child, while not seeming so emotionless about it.

[stormcris]

While I do not believe you need all of those to utilize attached parenting, I fully support it and practiced it in my own way, which did not include breast feeding because I was dry.

[rlemde]

I think it supports bonding, but I don't allow my daughter (or son) to sleep in my bed. I did at first but things went better for both when they moved to their cribs, in their own rooms. Other than that, I do babywear, breastfeed, cry language, work for a balance. I bonded how I could when both were born. Training both was (is for daughter) vital for my sanity.  I'd rather my kids be attached and bonded than isolated.

[Goodwoman614]

The irony of this is that babies and children whose parents practice attachment-style parenting are actually very independent kids...and that is b/c the kids are secure in knowing that their parent is there if needed and their needs will be met in a loving, attentive way.

[luvmygrndhg]

I have a friend who APs her son and she is always complaining about how she doesn't get any sleep because he doesn't nap and stays up until 11 pm and wakes up early.  She always sounds exasperated.  She and her dh are TTC but can't because they co-sleep and due to son's erratic bedtime they don't get any intimate time.  They have difficulty feeding him because he's very picky about what he eats.  He's only 18 mos. and he seems to rule the parents.  The dad also sounds exasperated.  To me that seems very dysfunctional but it may not be typical of AP.

For me personally I practiced the majority of the points except co-sleeping and I did introduce routines such as set bedtimes and naptimes, mealtimes etc.  It could be considered "training".

[evythecute]

I am a little bit AP... But not that i ever tried to be any way... I just do what works best for me and my family. I breastfed for a year and didn't co-sleep not with her in bed but in a co-sleeper next to the bed right next to me for 6mo. then in the room with me till 8 months. When she was an infant i was very attentive to her cry.. but as she got older could, i realized the was value in letting her learn to self sooth. Scheduling her was never an isue she was always a pretty scheduled kid on her own.

I think if it work for you then do it, if not then don't... I think we get to caught up in specific parenting styles... Just do what works for you who cares if its not all AP or not. Just do you, don't worry about all of that. Take what works for you from each style and make your own style.

[athenax3]

I'm just about there- I follow much of the outlined- it works for me, it works for my children, it is a parenting method that I happen to like, if it's not for you don't do it, I don't really care how you choose to parent. You raise your kids and I'll raise mine. That's kind of where I'm at on these things- I do have my personal feelings about some ways- but they are just that, my personal feelings and opinion, which have no bearing on your choice.

[home-sweet-home]

I practice all of it. Though not as much with my older boys. Though I did cosleep and breastfeed.

I believe that it is know your child is a person and not one that is try to manipulate you, just communicate. After having so many children and realizing that they grow and you can never get that time back, it makes you realize that nighttime parenting etc, is so short and you someday will miss the little things like that.

With Chloe I got to do all the points. She was born peacefully at home right into my arms and rarely left my side.

She is the most independent child you have ever seen. EVER. She even started walking at 7 months and I think that was so she would not have to depend on someone to take her somewhere lol.

[PurdueMom]

I had never heard of attachment parenting until I joined Cafemom. 

I breastfed my girls, but they were in their own cribs in their own rooms from day one.  They were all sleeping through the night by 5 weeks of age.  I didn't run to them with every cry... and I didn't 'wear' them... and they are now grown-up, independent, and awesome individuals.  That is the method that worked for me

[humanjunglegym]

Whatever works for you, imo.  I did some of it and a little "baby training".  I followed his natural rythm for napping and eating then set it more in stone.  The only thing I didn't do at all was cosleeping.  I've seen happy, healthy, well-adjusted ap parented children and whatever you call the other end of the spectrum kids that were happy, healthy and well adjusted.