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Girl or Boy? We'll Never Tell!

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 10:35 PM
  • 6 Replies

Very interesting article from The Daily Buzz....

Girl or Boy? We'll Never Tell!

July 1, 2009 at 6:58 AM by Cafe Suzanne

boy or girl baby

Who cares?

Some parents like to keep their baby's gender a secret before it's born, but not many hide that information after it's born. This couple does.

A Swedish couple has refused to reveal whether their child, Pop (now 2), is a boy or a girl. The parents made their decision based on the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction.

"We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mold from the outset,"  Pop’s mother, 24, said. "It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead."

The child's parents said so long as they keep Pop’s gender a secret, he or she will be able to avoid preconceived notions of how people should be treated if male or female.

Pop wears both dresses and pants, and Pop's hairstyle changes on a regular basis.

“Ignoring children's natures simply doesn’t work,” says psychologist Susan Pinker in The Local, a Swedish newspaper. "Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child’s needs as an individual."

On the other hand, gender equality consultant Kristina Henkel told the paper that the experiment could have positive results. "Without these gender stereotypes, children can build character as individuals, not hindered by preconceived notions of what they should be as males or females."

What do you think about this? Would our babies better off if we raised them without a gender? Would you raise your child this way?


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by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 10:35 PM
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by Member on Jul. 5, 2009 at 10:55 PM
I don't think that kids would benefit from being raised sans gender. It takes away from the ability to form an identity, and later in life it makes it harder to form a sexual identity. It robs these kids of the ability to discern who they are.

Stereotypes all contain a grain of truth to them. My little boy goes down the girl toy aisle with me - I have a niece and I like to get treats for her as well as my nephew and my son when I have the extra cash. He has never really shown a desire for toys that are girly, with the exception of cooking stuff - and I think that's because his daddy and I do a lot of cooking. Something like that is genderless because we all need to do it to survive.

I feel it is cruel to deny a child the right to an identity - who says that you have to raise a boy to like fighting and trucks, or a girl who likes dollies and daisies? If your son likes dolls, get him one. If your daughter likes Thomas the Tank Engine, get her some! These things will not interfere with the development of identity, but help in its formation.

My boy knows he is a boy. But if he wanted girl toys, I'd buy them for him. If these parents want to establish that boys can do girl things and girls can do boy things, fine - but don't confuse the crap outta your child in the process. Just tell them they can do ANYTHING, regardless of traditional gender roles.

by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:51 PM

That is just weird. I would understand a little more if they were just trying to not stereotype their children. It is proven that baby boys and baby girls are treated differently. Boys are taught to be tough and hold in emotions and girls are taught that they are more delicate and emotional. I don't know, that sounds like a science expreriment.

Mrs. Khan

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:59 PM


I think that they are trying something new. Something that they believe will give their child a better chance at life. Gender roles can hinder a child to reaching their full potential if they think they need to be a certain way. I personally would not raise a child this way. I think gender helps defy you. There are gender stereotypes for a reason, there is some truth in them. There is nothing wrong with a boy loving sports and cars. There is nothing wrong with a girl wearing pink and dressing up like a princess. There is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to be a mechanic or guy wanting to be a nurse. You just need to teach your child that gender roles do not need to define them!

in love blowing bubbles  baby boy*Happily married to Erik and proud mommy of a toddler and an infant* Isabella and Camden*

by Member on Jul. 6, 2009 at 9:05 AM

I get what they are trying to do, but the child his or herself is going to have issues later is life due to this.  I know a lot of little girls that like to play with trucks and little boys who like to have stuffed animals and doll (Action figures).  In this day and time no one really cares.  What would scare me, is looking to the future, and seeing this child having a serious identity crisis.  Many peopel have identitiy crisises and they a basic knowledge of who they are, but they do know what they are.  This child does even know what he/she is, and if it's a he and he's wearing dresses, he'll be judged harsher in the future.  This child will have major issues relationships.  I just think this poor child needs to be treated like a child, not an experiment.

by on Jul. 6, 2009 at 10:36 PM

I think they're nuts. It may be fine and dandy for them to want their child to grow up that way but the world isn't that way.

by on Jul. 6, 2009 at 10:40 PM

 I really think that this "I'm o.k., you're o.k." stuff has gone WWAAAYYY too far. This is not some ultra progressive, liberal parents trying to keep their child open minded and accepting of all human kind. These folks are whacked out and are causing more problems for their child than they can understand. They are running their own agenda on their child and making him/her a social experiment. Shame on them.

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